tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52276544737923149152024-03-18T21:36:02.484-07:00It's Up To Us!FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-71036622518180395042013-10-21T18:41:00.000-07:002013-10-21T18:42:28.857-07:00Why Vulnerability Is Your Best Friend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjee6k4DE2A7KZKDl_AaJbVCr6qOopzW2CsafiPA_7SvLx9Tg_zzVGkUk2wHPn0Xhktib-7Yt9as2IDPT5_DEO2TPvtGF-Znnx0vhdXaYo9oMfs0BsSuXFFw9q1n6j06ypE2StiLODgga5/s1600/vulnerability2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjee6k4DE2A7KZKDl_AaJbVCr6qOopzW2CsafiPA_7SvLx9Tg_zzVGkUk2wHPn0Xhktib-7Yt9as2IDPT5_DEO2TPvtGF-Znnx0vhdXaYo9oMfs0BsSuXFFw9q1n6j06ypE2StiLODgga5/s320/vulnerability2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">I wrote a <a href="http://0itsuptous0.blogspot.com/2011/07/vulnerability-and-romantic.html">post</a> awhile back where I wrote </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">about the importance of vulnerability in romantic relationships.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Since then I have come to the understanding that the
willingness to be vulnerable surpasses just romantic relationships. In fact, I
think that vulnerability is the key to happiness, contentment, and a full life.
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Author and researcher Brene Brown calls it a “whole hearted
life” in her book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Vulnerable-Transforms-ebook/dp/B007P7HRS4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382405709&sr=8-1&keywords=daring+greatly">“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way we Live, Love, Parent and Lead</a>”. In this book, she discusses the importance of
vulnerability in all aspects of life, from romantic relationships to parenting.
Her book (which is a MUST READ by the way) expanded my view of vulnerability
when it comes to interacting with the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">So what does it mean to be vulnerable?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>To be vulnerable is be honest with yourself.</em></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">It is hard to admit when something bothers you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also hard to admit that you have certain
feelings or opinions that you may not want to face. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To deal with this we self-medicate, pretend
and put up barriers that keep people from getting to know the “real” us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Self-reflection is the best form of
vulnerability. If you can’t be vulnerable with yourself, how can you be
vulnerable with others? </span></div>
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">To be vulnerable is to embrace your imperfections.</span></em></strong></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">There is a sense of shame associated with being imperfect
that so many of us deal with on a day-to-day basis. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think sometimes we honestly forget that we
are fallible human beings who are going to make mistakes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, we walk through life trying to make
everything run perfectly, thinking that “perfect” = good. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If everything is going well and we are doing
everything right, then we can be happy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
the truth is, there is joy in falling short, because we have the ability to
pick up the next day, learn, and grow from our mistakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<em><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">To be vulnerable is to give yourself permission to be
uncool.</span></strong></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">If I want to watch episodes of Full House on syndication on
the weekend while I knit in my Hello Kitty pajamas, I CAN. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know why? Because I am not afraid to be
uncool. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay..I know it’s not high
school anymore and we say that all of this “cool/uncool” popular kids stuff
doesn’t exist once you leave high school. Unfortunately, that’s a little lie we
tell ourselves to convince us of our maturity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We still alienate people who are different or don’t fit certain
standards. We still have ridiculous ideas of what is cool or not and are always
the first to judge others. Why not spend a little more time enjoying what you
love instead of judging what everyone else is doing?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img alt="" aria-label="uncool (image credit: celebritysmackblog.com)" height="268" id="yui_3_5_1_5_1382405922901_495" src="http://hip2bmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/uncool.jpg" style="height: 268px; width: 384px;" width="384" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>To be vulnerable is to try the things you are afraid of.</em></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">The smartest thing anyone has told me this year is, “If you
are a little bit afraid of something, that’s when you know you should do
it,”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever you are nervous about, DO.
If you feel completely comfortable about a certain job or task or whatever it
is, maybe it’s something that will be enjoyable for you, but won’t necessarily
help you grow. When you try something that’s out of your comfort zone, you give
yourself the bandwidth to grow. You will be surprised how much your capacity
for new experiences will grow once you keep doing this!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>To be vulnerable is to be able to know and ask for what you
need.</em></strong> </span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Know what you personally need to make you happy and
content.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Know what type of communication
you prefer in a relationship. Know what makes you feel happy, sad, jealous, frustrated,
unsupported. Then surround yourself with people who support your positive
feelings and do not bring out negative habits in you. In addition, know what
you need to make yourself a better you. Is it more sleep? Certain exercises?
Doing crafts on the weekend with your cat? Whatever it is, do it and don’t
apologize for it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwQFBDN6H5TxJ_MFa4vIVYAaKFw64CTILOaEiiL8L0SjV6c5YqC84_rw8FjZlki9O_KHuiah_RbsmgpL5lWFJsFDxlbk07W1TFN_iK2FEURRniXqh6mx9ZKite9QWIfN6zWnVra0n2JQZ/s1600/Vulnerability1-640x420.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwQFBDN6H5TxJ_MFa4vIVYAaKFw64CTILOaEiiL8L0SjV6c5YqC84_rw8FjZlki9O_KHuiah_RbsmgpL5lWFJsFDxlbk07W1TFN_iK2FEURRniXqh6mx9ZKite9QWIfN6zWnVra0n2JQZ/s400/Vulnerability1-640x420.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Remember….</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is a strength.</em></strong></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> and...</span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong><em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be vulnerable is
to be courageous.</em></strong> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-large;">Thanks for reading! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">
Want more?</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span></o:p><br />
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Check out Brene's awesome Ted Talk on vulnerability here:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html</span></a></div>
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-41193515366402657242013-09-12T14:25:00.000-07:002013-09-12T14:26:05.066-07:00The Do's and Dont's of Responsiveness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a data-cthref="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=Mg4b6ESNhVDpOM&tbnid=nXReoRIOuCdo_M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Flmlrn.com%2Frelationships-10-books-on-relationships-that-every-couple-must-read%2F&ei=Bi8yUujEN8Kc2gXW4YDADA&psig=AFQjCNHa-qe3cg5B7fh3gNDRihBSthyjqg&ust=1379106921915733" data-ved="0CAUQjRw" href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=Mg4b6ESNhVDpOM&tbnid=nXReoRIOuCdo_M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Flmlrn.com%2Frelationships-10-books-on-relationships-that-every-couple-must-read%2F&ei=Bi8yUujEN8Kc2gXW4YDADA&psig=AFQjCNHa-qe3cg5B7fh3gNDRihBSthyjqg&ust=1379106921915733" id="irc_mil" style="border: 0px currentColor; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img height="179" id="irc_mi" src="http://lmlrn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/relationships-books-1024x576.jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">As I reflect on my 2nd week of doctoral studies, I have begun to contemplate the idea of responsiveness and how it has the power to build or break relationships. As many of you know, my ultimate goal is to become a clinical psychologist. As I commence my training, I have not only heard how important responding is in a therapeutic relationship, but I have also realized how important it is with the people in your life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">How we respond to other people's expressions of vulnerability and openness creates trust and builds a safe space to share and grow. Have you ever been in a situation where you open your heart to someone and they respond in a completely inappropriate, hurtful, apathetic or insensitive way? It's not fun. In fact it can be damaging to a person's sense of self, especially if the person who responds is an important attachment figure in that other person's life. I know it is impossible to avoid saying insensitive things sometimes. We are going to make mistakes, and sometimes our responses reflect more of our own issues than our real feelings. Keeping this in mind, the purpose of this post is to focus on skills to be aware of when responding to other people's stress, anger or any other emotion possible to human existence. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Let's start with a basic tool...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><u>DO</u></strong> actively listen to what the other person is saying. </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">I've told this to my psych educational classes over and over again and I'll never stop. Listening is not just hearing the words. It is <u><strong>understanding</strong></u> and being able to reflect the content of a person's story or feelings. How do you become a better listener? Pay attention, make eye contact and stop thinking about the next thing you are going to say while another person is talking. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Now that we got covered, what happens when you are listening and someone tells you something that you don't know how to respond to? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><u>DON'T</u></strong> try to minimize the person's experience. Examples of this? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">"Oh everything's going to be alright in the end. Just stop worrying."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">"You need to get over it. It's not as big of a deal as you think it is."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">"There are bigger problems than what you are going through in the world."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">There are many variations of this that may not be as straightforward as these statements. It's important to realize that a person's feelings are reality to them. Therefore by minimizing a situation or feeling you aren't getting through to them, you are shutting them off from trusting you! Even if you do feel that there is something you would like to confront them with, its not the right time when the person is in distress and is confiding in you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><img height="286" src="https://mail-attachment.googleusercontent.com/attachment/u/0/?saduie=AG9B_P_ReyWvQRGoNUuTSvZQkBZS&attid=0.1&disp=emb&view=att&th=14113ee75d8f2d3a" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><u>DON'T</u></strong> make the problem about you. Listen to this e-card people! I know it may be appropriate sometimes to tell someone your own personal story of struggle and triumph in order to inspire them, but you have to find the right times for this. One extremely frustrating example of this is when you're going through some type of medical issue or sickness and a person tries to tell you about how their 2nd cousin twice removed also had this illness and then ended up having to be in the hospital for 7 days and lost their job. Everyone ALWAYS has a story about someone else's experience or their own experience that is similar to yours. Quite frankly, I don't want to hear it because its always some horror story that ends up making me anxious, which leads to me being on Web MD for 6 hours. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><u>DON'T </u></strong>O.T.O. - i.e. overstate the obvious. I first heard this expression when I was 22, standing outside of a bar while a loud, intoxicated young woman passed by yelling "OTO" because she heard someone state, "Oh It's Raining!" as it started to rain. Apparently, stating the obvious was just not going to cut it for her that night. Since then, I've used it to describe a situation where someone tells me something I already know. Sometimes, when people are explaining a feeling they do not want a response like, "Oh well, you really have no choice." or "Oh, this situation sucks, I wouldn't want to be you." or "Oh well that's life, its not easy." These are obvious observations that are assumed, they don't need to be stated and do not provide a source of comfort.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><u>DON'T </u> </strong>give unnecessary advice. Usually, people aren't asking you to fix their problems. If you find yourself saying, "Well you should...." STOP YOURSELF! RIGHT AWAY!!!! Because most of the time, people know what they SHOULD be doing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">So what <strong><u>DO </u></strong>people want to hear? I have two magical words for you...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">"I understand."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">You may or may not understand or know what it feels like to be in someone's shoes, but by showing someone you understand them validates their feelings. I believe that all people really want when they are feeling uncomfortable feelings is to be <strong><em>validated</em></strong> and <strong><em>understood</em></strong>. It doesn't matter whether the emotions they are experiencing are rational, all that matters is that they are able to express them without shame. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Shame and fear of vulnerability is the source of many people's pain. We aren't perfect and by communicating this to others by understanding, instead of judging, their situations we can achieve stronger and long-lasting relationships.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Those are my two cents for today y'all. Have a wonderful day! I'd love to hear your thoughts.</span> FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-47797258643400842342013-08-03T09:28:00.001-07:002013-08-03T09:28:55.343-07:00She's Back! Let's talk about emotional constipation. Oh yes, It's happening.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuln3orjP03cxqbFbmjAF1wiwB7jo2nyR4i_8rwx-Ej1Ms4_2m-Yt6nD7ohbGFvKLbzZZDWvWTulF3PpwbDSmXYOc2LYZB5Dv4PmFaI0EGKfFASRLFfAMmplHpcXZrjS75RcYI9HxJfBed/s1600/1346209159729_5399826.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuln3orjP03cxqbFbmjAF1wiwB7jo2nyR4i_8rwx-Ej1Ms4_2m-Yt6nD7ohbGFvKLbzZZDWvWTulF3PpwbDSmXYOc2LYZB5Dv4PmFaI0EGKfFASRLFfAMmplHpcXZrjS75RcYI9HxJfBed/s320/1346209159729_5399826.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hi Readers!!!!! If there are any of you still left :( I apologize for my brief hiatus from my consistent blog post writing. I have had many exciting and new life changes, and as a result I've neglected my love of writing blog posts! So I'm back..and I'm starting a new, exciting topic: <i><b>Emotional Constipation.</b></i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sounds lovely, right? Okay, just hear me out....</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">First of all, let me start by defining what emotional constipation is, from my perspective. I'm going to call it EC so I don't have to keep writing the word constipation over and over. </span></span><br />
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<u><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How do know if you have EC?</span></span></b></u><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> You don't feel comfortable talking about your feelings</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> You use indirect ways of communicating with people about your feelings instead of being direct</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> You hear from others that you sometimes come off as "unfeeling" or "cold" or you get feedback that it is hard to get to know you</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You prefer to pretend you don't feel anything rather than face negative feelings</span></span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now that I read this over, I'm sure everyone has been EC at one point in their lives. We may be more willing to share ourselves emotionally with some people than we do with others, which I understand because I've been there. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">HOWEVER, EC in general is not a good thing. Living your life without sharing yourself is an absolute way of missing out on the beauty of human relationships. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Many people are afraid to express themselves to others because they are afraid of how people will respond or they are afraid of conflict. Even though it is uncomfortable, conflict is sometimes necessary in relationships because it brings it improves intimacy levels and it helps you learn more about yourself. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><u><b>So how do you become less emotionally constipated?</b></u></span></span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Take an emotional laxative. You can get them at target for $9.99. Okay just kidding, but wouldn't that be awesome? Hey I'm afraid of feeling this feeling, I'm going to pop this pill and everything will be A-OK!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Mindfulness. Take moments in your day to be mindful of your inner and outer experiences. When someone says something that bothers you, how does that make you feel? Use specific words to explain what is going on in your mind and body.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Once you are aware of your inner experiences, practice expressing those experiences to others in positive ways. If there are negative feelings you need to discuss, there is always a way to do so with words of kindness and compassion. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Use "I" more than "You" when telling someone how you feel. This isn't the blaming game, its you opening up to another person about yourself</span></span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">These are just a couple things that have helped me in my journey toward a less emotionally constipated life. I hope they help you all! Keep an eye out for more frequent blog posting :) </span></span><br />
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-58725538977218373192013-03-12T13:59:00.000-07:002013-03-12T14:16:55.141-07:00Rules for Better Living<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggKorTE2vZ98s2_St6K7tybF0U_XmE_Nj-ZXv4T5WwYsrNK_s0SmBfLmrlw9D8t5m0y4_Hi5Ci8AQ42-HtnoA7ye69IBz7kjYsFg5N33N0QVryQaAGWKZFEKMnRpXsa2QuYVYqOaq6502Y/s1600/life-goes-on.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" psa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggKorTE2vZ98s2_St6K7tybF0U_XmE_Nj-ZXv4T5WwYsrNK_s0SmBfLmrlw9D8t5m0y4_Hi5Ci8AQ42-HtnoA7ye69IBz7kjYsFg5N33N0QVryQaAGWKZFEKMnRpXsa2QuYVYqOaq6502Y/s320/life-goes-on.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy Tuesday, readers! I'm going to contribute to the vast number of self-help books out there about how to be happier and live a better life by offering my own personal list. These are a compilation of my own thoughts, things I've read and quotes I've come across in my 27 years of living. If you have an addition, feel free to comment below!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Allow yourself to make mistakes</strong>. I've known this is important my whole life, yet I still beat myself up when I mess up. Be kind to yourself people! Cut yourself some slack every now and then. If things were perfect all the time, we wouldn't know what true perfection was. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Don't ever underestimate the power of time when it comes to pain.</strong> When sadness, loss or rejection occur in life, I always remind myself of the fact that human beings are wired to adapt. It may feel as if what you're feeling in the moment is unbearable, but it doesn't mean its permanent. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>A life without balance is not a life worth living. </strong>I always know when I don't have enough balance of work, friends, family, school, fun in my life, because I burn out (or have an emotional breakdown, which is always fun). In my experience, there is nothing wrong with rewarding hard work with a well deserved vacation, or after spending hours on a paper, taking a moment to spend with someone you care about. Geez, I'm like a Hallmark card right now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Only</strong> <strong>make time for people who make time for you.</strong> If a person isn't making the time to see you, don't waste time trying to see them. If a person isn't thinking about you, don't ruin your life by ruminating over what they're doing. Simple as that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Know your limits. </strong>You don't have to say "Yes" to everyone and everything. It is not your responsibility to get a million things done every day. Do what you can and do your best. Constant overachieving leads to ulcers and panic attacks. Yes, I speak from experience. How do you like that for too much self-disclosure....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. </strong>Thank you Eleanor Roosevelt! She knew what's up. You can't control what others think or do, but you can control how you feel about yourself</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Don't be left dancing alone to songs of the past. </strong>You can thank Tegan and Sara for this (from the song "I Won't Be Left" - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZBG3MUgDbY">listen here!).</a> Time is moving forward, and to waste countless hours stuck on past situations and trauma will not help you in the moment. If there are things you can't get over, consider getting help! Everyone deserves a future that isn't tainted by past mistakes or pain. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Dont be afraid to feel. </strong>One of my favorite quotes from Tina Fey's book, <em>Bossypants</em> is:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>“Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.” </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's really unfortunate that displays of emotion scare other people. I'm not gonna lie, when someone starts bawling in front of me I feel a little panic sometimes too. But heck, who cares, if you want to cry, CRY. If you want to sing out, sing out, ha. Respect the emotions of others and don't be afraid to express your own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span> <span style="font-size: large;"></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Those are my nuggets of inspiration for the day. So long, folks!</span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-50582545565101177632013-03-07T11:34:00.001-08:002013-03-07T11:34:20.134-08:00Thoughts on Men, Women and Dealing With Rejection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FfMNcTCnkqv9NK0Ee4JG09NWQGJKdCbLqhnmVVFSBRMZv6RSc2cSMViB4HhL7YzfTrxtBxS4wi4SehOkL1Drh9k8KrIQrmZjpb3J9DtbtwuxXL-O8gEbxxtoohfzIXhVCS09OyYxwl5z/s1600/rejection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" jsa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FfMNcTCnkqv9NK0Ee4JG09NWQGJKdCbLqhnmVVFSBRMZv6RSc2cSMViB4HhL7YzfTrxtBxS4wi4SehOkL1Drh9k8KrIQrmZjpb3J9DtbtwuxXL-O8gEbxxtoohfzIXhVCS09OyYxwl5z/s400/rejection.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It has always been my general opinion that men take rejection easier than women. When I imagine a man dealing with rejection, I picture no tears or demonstration of pain. Instead, I imagine a guy out on the town, partying it up, pretending nothing happened and ready to conquer the next woman who comes along. Okay, after reading that statement I sound like a feminist man-hater, which I am not! I've just had this ridiculous notion in my head for years that rejection just slides off of men like butta. Who can I blame this on? Society? The men in my life? Movies? You? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Whenever I imagine a woman dealing with rejection, I think of a girl buried in a mountain of tissues, sitting in front of the TV watching a sappy movie with a big tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in her lap. I also see a basket-case and a person who has completely forgotten her self worth because someone rejected her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">These images frighten me. They may stem from the cliche depictions I've seen in movies, or my own personal experience. Either way, after coming to terms with these images, I had to challenge them. So I decided use a lifeline and ask the audience...and you spoke loud and clear and put me in my place!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Several months ago I sent out a survey to men and women about how they deal with rejection. 23 men and 16 women responded (way to step it up men!). The average age of the men was 29 and the average age of the females was 27. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>Question #1</em></strong></span> asked "When you have been rejected or left hanging by someone that you liked or were dating, have you ever questioned your self-worth?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong><u>Men's response: </u></strong></span></div>
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<u><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Females response:</span></strong></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The results are almost identical, with a slight increase in answer "Yes" on the female side. Maybe we aren't as different as we think we are!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><em><strong>Question #2</strong></em></span> was: "What did you question about yourself specifically?" Here's where it gets interesting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>A common answer among both genders was "Am I not good enough?" or "What am I doing wrong?"</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>9 of the male responses and 6 of the female responses stated something similar to this. </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Specific traits were also mentioned.</em> <strong>Men said they questioned their looks, attractiveness, and personality. Women questioned personality, intelligence, judgement, attractiveness, and body image</strong>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>One thing I found very interesting is that one male respondent said <strong>"I questioned my success in life and how independent I am."</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Two female responses revolved around the idea that "I am worth more than this, I don't doubt myself." <strong>None of the male responses reflected a sense of empowerment or knowing they deserved better</strong></em><strong>.</strong> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong><u>Question #3</u></strong></span> asked whether they've dealt with rejection in any negative ways, with several choices. Here are the results.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u><strong> MEN:</strong></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>WOMEN: </u></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em><strong>Women it comes to abusing alcohol, men reported a higher percentage than women.</strong></em></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">To my surprise, <em>women reported a higher rate of partying than men!</em> Women also reported <em>spending time alone</em> more than men. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">However a big difference was that <em>women reported 81.3% of venting to friends, while men reported 47% of venting to friends</em>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Overeating</em> was also higher in women than in men (chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, anyone?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, as I always say, the results of my little survey are in no way empirically valid and will not be published in a peer-reviewed journal anytime soon. I was just interested to see the responses, and boy was I surprised!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Personally, it's refreshing to know that men deal with rejection similarly to women. Maybe the divide between us isn't as big as we thought. </span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">What are your thoughts on this survey and the differences between men and women and they way they deal with rejection?</span> </span></strong></div>
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-85308531875880814542012-12-31T11:00:00.003-08:002012-12-31T11:01:11.064-08:00What Television Taught Me in 2012 <span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>SPOILER ALERT! Read selectively if you come to a show that you haven’t seen and plan to see. Sorry. Ha.</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Everyone who knows me knows I’m a cinephile and a television-ophile. If that’s a real thing. This blog post is desperate attempt to justify all the television I watch by finding lessons in the stories. So enjoy, and Happy New Year!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In 2012, Deb from <strong><em>Dexter</em></strong> taught me that if you keep falling in love with the wrong people (I.E. the Ice truck killer, Detective Quinn, Lundy- a man old enough to be her father) it doesn’t mean you default to your non-blood related siblings. If you do this, you might just end up a murderer. You’d think it would be common knowledge, right? Deb, thank you for encouraging me to make better decisions than you in 2013. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>The Walking Dead</em></strong> taught me to show the ones I love that I love them, even when they piss me off by sleeping with my best friend and getting pregnant. Don’t let anger keep you from forgiving those you love, because she might just die in childbirth and turn into a zombie. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Shahs of Sunset</em></strong> taught me that it's okay to be an intergalactic persian priestess and drink diamond water. Wait --or maybe it taught me that it's okay to tell a Persian who hasn't gotten a nose job (yet) that you love their big nose, BTW. In case you were wondering, it's not. Off limit topics in Persian conversations: noses, hairiness and weight. In the words of Reza, "Did that Bitch just call me fat?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Walt’s carelessness in <strong><em>Breaking Bad</em></strong> taught me to watch what I keep lying around from my past. It MIGHT just come back to haunt you. Or maybe the real lesson here is not to start cooking meth, especially when my brother-in-law is a DEA agent? </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-QeGU8FbqYbYWMOOR8ds5dQ21iEY5xUQj59Id2jrWWx-ily3C3j1y0-YgN2MM-AgOUVonmRu57ZI8FQ5CMs5D7GZvBFbYR_Y3EMIg2DMAR1dvhkfeCnNelVvxCj3pRF75TlJ5LISsA3yb/s1600/adventure_time_comic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" eea="true" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-QeGU8FbqYbYWMOOR8ds5dQ21iEY5xUQj59Id2jrWWx-ily3C3j1y0-YgN2MM-AgOUVonmRu57ZI8FQ5CMs5D7GZvBFbYR_Y3EMIg2DMAR1dvhkfeCnNelVvxCj3pRF75TlJ5LISsA3yb/s320/adventure_time_comic.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Adventure Time</em></strong> reminded me to have fun, as it does every year. If you’re not watching this show, you definitely need to. AT reminds me that sometimes its okay for things to not make sense and for life to be absurd. In 2013, I’m going to be inventive like Princess Bubblegum, proud of my lumps like Lumpy Space Princess, and mischievous like Marceline the Vampire Queen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Parks and Recreation</em></strong> taught me that Adam Scott is really cute when he’s not the A-hole brother in Stepbrothers. Go Adam SCOTT! Hot T! P.S. I love you, Leslie Knope. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Jersey Shore </em></strong>surprised us all by revealing that even meatballs can have cute babies. Who knew?! Baby Lorenzo is a cutie patootee!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Girls</em></strong> taught me that “white girl problems” can also be anyone’s problems. Okay, so we may not all accidentally smoke crack at a party like Shoshanna and run 10 miles down the street or get married to some extreme capitalist after knowing him for a week. However, we can relate to the confusion and pain Marnie and Charlie go through as they end their relationship and the stress Hannah experiences as she tries to find her place in the world. Let’s just say I’m looking forward to Season 2 =)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Finally, <strong><em>Parenthood</em></strong> taught me that family is important, and that doesn’t just mean the people you’re blood related to. It's about the family you have and the family you make. Life isn’t perfect and we are all going to face things we don’t want to. Having a support system and positive influences in your life makes it all worth bearing. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">See, who said TV can't teach you anything? I think I need to go read a book now....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I hope everyone has a wonderful new year in 2013. Peace!!!!!!</span><br />
<br />FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-13649612471916177362012-12-18T20:14:00.005-08:002012-12-18T20:14:52.819-08:00Is it Possible To Love Someone You've Never Met?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">One of my new favorite shows on MTV is called <em>Catfish</em>, stemming from the same-titled documentary by Nev Schulman, which is based on online dating. The most recent episode inspired me to write this blog post. I’m going to try my best not to spoil anything about the episode!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Basically, all of the episodes so far have provoked me to question whether its possible to truly love someone that you’ve only spoke to online. I’ve always thought that a relationship is not “real” unless it's face-to- face, and that building a prolonged online relationship could never end well, but this most recent episode made me think twice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">First of all let’s face it, we’ve come along way from AOL chat rooms. Online dating is a huge craze these days. People are meeting, dating and marrying the people they meet online. It has become a legitimate way to meet new people! If I was single, I’d definitely do it. It can be beneficial for a person who’s extremely busy or a little shy.... or someone who simply doesn’t want to waste time weeding through all the drunk people at bars to find a diamond in the rough (some say that's a lost cause ha.) On the other hand, online dating can be dangerous and you risk falling for someone who isn’t who they say they are, as <em>Catfish</em> (or unfortunate personal experience) has shown us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">So back to my question, can you truly be in love with someone you’ve never seen face to face? Something that stood out to me in this weeks episode is the fact that Dani said he didn’t feel like the relationship really started until they met. However, when they did meet it was obvious the connection and foundation of a relationship was there and had been there for quite awhile. Maybe there are limits to online relationships and how they can grow, but it doesn't mean a person can't fall for someone they meet online before they've met them? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I’d love to hear people’s thoughts about online dating, whether they’ve seen the episode or not. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">If you haven’t seen it, I suggest you check it out!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">This episode of <em>Catfish</em> taught me that love is found in many ways and it shows up in different forms. I will never again judge the way people fall in love and I will embrace the fact that two people can love each other outside of race, gender, culture or class. Thanks, <em>Catfish</em>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Comment away! </span><br />
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-73282004485249389452012-11-30T12:21:00.001-08:002012-11-30T12:21:25.959-08:00Star Wars Wisdom On Relationships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>NOTE</strong>: Whether you are a star wars fan or not, you will be able to relate to this post on some level. You don't have to be a nerd to enjoy the life long lessons the Star Wars saga has imparted onto humanity. In fact, you may even find yourself longing to watch one of the films after this (Star Wars movie night anyone??) So here we go...A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Here's what Star Wars has taught me about relationships:</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>#1 Either be in a relationship or don't be in one. Don't mess around. </em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of Yoda's most famous quotes from <em>Star Wars</em> is, "Do or Do not, There is no try." That green little man (is he a man?) may have spoken super slow with jumbled up grammar but he sure as hell knew what he was talking about. The way I see it, you either do something, or you don't do it. There is no, "Oh, I'm going to try being in a relationship, but I'm keeping my options open." No one deserves half your effort, and you don't deserve a half-ass effort from anyone either. </span><br />
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<em><strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">#2 Watch who you get advice from about your relationships. </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Just ask Anakin i.e. Darth Vader.</span></strong></em><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Anakin Skywalker's biggest mistake was listening to Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious' advice about the dark side of the force having the power to prevent death. Emperor Palpatine took advantage of Anakins fears and premonitions about Padme dying during childbirth and Anakin was so vulnerable and confused that he listened...and look what happened. He turned to the dark side, put a choke hold on the wife that he was trying to <strong>SAVE</strong> then fell into volcanic rock (that's the short version.) I'm a little conflicted because I love Darth Vader but then I watch episode 3 and I remember how he got that way and I am sad (despite the cheesy dialogue and forced acting). So my question is, do you really want to fall into volcanic rock and be forced to breathe like a person with extreme post nasal drip for the rest of your life? No, but for seriously - It's important to watch who you ask for advice on your relationship. Remember, not everyone has your best interest at heart. Many times, people give advice based on their own selfish point of view. My advice is to find several people in your life you who know have your back and will give you objective, productive, tactful feedback. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><em><strong>#3 Make sure you're not related to the person you kiss.</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Good rule of thumb, people. Even if you're trying to make Han Solo jealous, please make sure you don't share a blood line with someone before you lock lips with them. It just ain't classy. I love you Princess Leia, its okay, you just didn't know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong><em><span style="font-size: x-large;">#4 There is always more than one side to a story - and everyone's opinion is important.</span></em></strong> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><em>One of my favorite Obi-Wan quotes is, “Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” </em>Sometimes during</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"> conflict with people we are close to we skew things based on our past emotional wounds. It's important to realize that everyone has a perspective that is valid. This perspective is their "truth." My wise buddy Obi-Wan is trying to remind us that we need to open our minds and take more time to understand someone else's "truth" before we judge, or escalate a conflict further than it needs to be escalated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>#5 Insecurity and Fear Go A long Way</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Another Yoda gem: <em>“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”</em> (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">Fear is what turned Anakin to the Dark Side, and it will lead you too if you don't be aware of your insecurity. When you are insecure, there is nothing anyone can do to appease you, so when people don't meet your expectations, it can cause anger to build up. This anger can lead to hate, which leads to suffering for you and the people around you. So remember, check your insecurity before you wreck yourself all the way to the dark side. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>#6 Don't let characters into your life who don't belong.</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">He was created for comic relief in Episode I-III, but all I needed was relief from the sound of his semi-rastafarian clown voice. Let's face it, no one likes him but we can't erase him from the movies, just like we can't erase obnoxious people off the face of the earth. However, that doesn't mean I have to acknowledge his presence as a legitimate, necessary <em>Star Wars</em> character, right? The lesson here is that some people just don't need to be in your life if they don't improve the quality of it. Figure out who the "Jar Jar Binks" in your life is today, and GET RID OF THEM. If only someone told George Lucas this before Episode I came out.....</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hope you enjoyed this post. Comments appreciated.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">May the force be with you. </span><br />
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-49781266024103439412012-11-18T21:32:00.000-08:002012-11-18T21:44:45.158-08:00 Has cheating become socially acceptable? Let's Ask Kristen Stewart. <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b><u>DISCLAIMER:</u></b> The idea for this blog post was inspired by the movie "Breaking Dawn" (yes TWILIGHT). Let's do this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I recently went to see the final installment of the Twilight Saga and I have to say I enjoyed every minute of the corny dialogue, prolonged dramatics, and Kristen Stewart's pubescent awkwardness. I really did. My only complaint was that Taylor Lautner only took off his shirt once. What a disgrace! Meh...he's kind of lost his charm now that he's entered into borderline pedophilia land. I know it's a Quillette thing, but I still can't digest the idea. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Okay moving on for those who aren't TwiHards.....Toward the end of the film Bella and Edward have this sappy romantic moment where she says how much she loves him and I had this uncontrollable urge to yell, "CHEATER!!!!" I fought my urge until her photo came on during the end credits and I just had to yell it. I'm pretty sure no one cared. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">And that's my problem. No one cared...because no one even remembers that she cheated on the poor dude with some old saggy married director man. I am not a huge follower of celebrity gossip, but there was no way I could escape the news of her infidelity. I felt like the story was broadcasted as much as the death of Michael Jackson (FYI Society: MJs Death > Bella cheating on Edward). In response to my turmoil, my friend (THANKS GILDA!) made an observation about how they got back together and people have pretty much forgotten about the whole discretion. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXG4aQliTeH2sfB423rfbamAaHtR1FKKgXy0LHsPtQVIiB1Gt4alEfIRQHXy1o-aoxg5_IwzL9qzt_9B-it5z4MILLsuFAaQQRngp3oNhRo6ocgYqHmkVGfuCRFpe3r0ISSMzzpPRkuIhL/s1600/Hugh-Grant-Divine-Brown-Mug-Shot-750684.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXG4aQliTeH2sfB423rfbamAaHtR1FKKgXy0LHsPtQVIiB1Gt4alEfIRQHXy1o-aoxg5_IwzL9qzt_9B-it5z4MILLsuFAaQQRngp3oNhRo6ocgYqHmkVGfuCRFpe3r0ISSMzzpPRkuIhL/s320/Hugh-Grant-Divine-Brown-Mug-Shot-750684.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">It started to get me thinking about how publicized cheating is in the celebrity world, and how it's forgotten about so easily. Need a reminder? Tiger Woods, Hugh Grant (see picture ha ha ha), Jesse James (HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON SANDRA!!), David Letterman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ryan Phillipe, Jude Law on Sienna Miller, then Sienna Miller on some guy....okay I need to stop because I said I didn't follow celebrities and I'm starting to make myself look like a liar. Anyway, Did anyone even remember that Letterman cheated? I completely forgot until I started making a mental list for this blog. I guess it's easy to forget, but does that mean its forgiven? Is this evidence that cheating is socially accepted in America?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b><u>Here's a couple ideas:</u></b></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Maybe it's not quite socially acceptable to cheat, but it is socially acceptable to exploit the the behavior of another person and almost glorify their "infamous-ness." Why are negative stories publicized more than positive ones? For once, I'd like to see a prolonged broadcast about people making a positive impact on society instead of the latest Tiger Woods mistress to come out of the woodwork.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Is cheating only acceptable when the person is famous? Do we just forgive celebrities/ political figures easier because of their rank in society? Bill Clinton dirtied it up with Monica Lewinski, but people still remember him as a good President, especially now with all the financial issues in the U.S. Another prominent figure I think of is JFK....he committed literally hundreds of infidelities and yet he is still glorified as a wonderful president. For some reason, prominent figures in society seem to get excused for most bad behavior, and it's not O.K.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Finally, maybe cheating has become so publicized and we hear about it so often, that we have become desensitized to it. Maybe subconsciously we have been convinced that cheating is normal because "everyone does it" these days. To quote my mother, "So if EVERYONE was jumping off a bridge, would you too?" </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I encourage everyone who reads this to take some time to really ponder your view of infidelity and how its presented in society. Yes, cheating happens but it should never be socially acceptable under any circumstance. On that note, I'm still upset with Kristen Stewart because Edward's a good guy okay!!! He risked his immortality for you and look how you repay him!!!! Plus who doesn't want a guy who glitters in the sun, doesn't sleep and constantly maintains an insanely low body temperature? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">So long Twihards. This will be my only twilight inspired post EVER. I hope....</span></div>
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-30827387217542426522012-11-14T15:37:00.000-08:002012-11-14T15:40:01.052-08:00The Dangers of Being Passive-Aggressive <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">So you’re a passive-aggressivist. You practice passive-aggressivism at every chance you get. For example, when someone bothers or hurts you, the FIRST thing you do is hop on Facebook and post a “general” status related to the conflict that happened and how devastated or annoyed you are. You wait for comments, and just hope that it made it on that person’s newsfeed. Sound familiar? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Just in case it doesn’t let me try another one: someone hurts your feelings and instead of telling them it hurt you, you shut them out, ignore their attempts to contact you, and make sarcastic comments until they finally ask you what’s wrong. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Wait, I’ve got another one! Someone asks you to go somewhere with them but you don’t want to go. Instead of telling them you don’t want to go, you agree to it because you don’t want to say no. However, the whole time you’re there you complain and act annoyed. Sound familiar YET?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">As you can see, there are many ways to be passive-aggressive - and I think everyone has been guilty of doing it at one time or another, myself included! I want to spend some time discussing possible reasons why people resort to being passive-aggressive in response to conflict, and why it is very harmful in relationships. </span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Question #1: WHY are we passive-aggressive?</span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: 22pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>It protects us from confrontation (but only in the short-term) </strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 22pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s the “quick” and easy way out. Maybe we don’t want to say “no” to someone, or we are scared to confront them directly because of how they might react. The thing to remember is that eventually the person is going to get the message, and the damage you’ve done by being passive-aggressive has escalated the problem. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>We are afraid of anger</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">This goes along with being afraid of confrontation. If you confront someone, you risk witnessing their display of anger, and feeling anger yourself. If you have a dysfunctional relationship with anger, you may want to avoid it all costs, therefore it’s easier to be passive-aggressive instead of assertive. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>It’s what we’re used to....</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">An </span><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201105/2-reasons-why-passive-aggressive-behavior-thrives-in-relation"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">article</span></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> in Psychology Today states that for some people, “passive aggressive behavior is not just a situational choice, but rather a deeply ingrained personality type.” When you are taught as a child to suppress certain feelings you may not know how to express them constructively as an adult. In addition, if you learned how to get attention from caretakers during your childhood in indirect ways, you most likely treat the people in your adult life the same way. This is unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean this can’t be changed!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>We expect people to read our minds or “get the hint”</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Only in a perfect world would we be able to temporary open up the ability to read each others minds on command so that we didn’t have to face communicating with our words. Unfortunately people don’t know what we are thinking or feeling unless we TELL them (and I don’t mean telling them through your facebook status).</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdgmuVNFbuZ6AxCSxcmGE4lsqc_1GzeEN0mc911b0Y4lJQeb4tDAgpmRgfEvyaucsmqXdAXbLWYPR1IH9vOKEu9BflnyQ81ewdyowjE1ZQeabjwRmh3Jmwx84T1N9a-pqV6sIy-R-ow0QZ/s1600/youd-totally-win-the-hunger-games-if-passive-aggresive-behavior-could-kill.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="233" rea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdgmuVNFbuZ6AxCSxcmGE4lsqc_1GzeEN0mc911b0Y4lJQeb4tDAgpmRgfEvyaucsmqXdAXbLWYPR1IH9vOKEu9BflnyQ81ewdyowjE1ZQeabjwRmh3Jmwx84T1N9a-pqV6sIy-R-ow0QZ/s400/youd-totally-win-the-hunger-games-if-passive-aggresive-behavior-could-kill.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Question #2: HOW passive-aggressiveness damages relationships</span></em></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Dishonesty and the delay of true closeness</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">If we are passive aggressive with the person we are in a relationship with, then we aren’t being totally honest with them, right? If you aren’t completely honest with a person, there is no way you can be truly close with them. Simple as that.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">EXPLOSIONS</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Being passive-aggressive causes more explosive arguments in a relationship. Instead of having real discussions, people bottle things up and then display feelings indirectly. When the one person does not respond to the others' indirect display of emotions, the feelings inside get worse and worse and eventually explode, leaving the person confused and surprised. It doesn’t work well for either person! </span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Self-esteem issues</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Acting in a passive-aggressive way can actually lower a person’s opinion of themselves. Eventually it causes people to treat them differently and lose respect for them, which lowers self-esteem even more. One person with low self-esteem in a relationship increases the chance of conflict and keeps the relationships from growing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">As you can see, acting passive-aggressively can cause resentment and confusion in relationships. It fuels anger, is manipulative, and blocks effective communication. If you have passive-aggressive tendencies it is important to figure out what is preventing you from being open about communication, and find a way to safely express your feelings to other people. Yes, confronting people is scary because you can’t control their reaction. However, it can damage a relationship even more when you don’t confront someone! Keep in mind that what you want and need is just as important as what others want and need. On that note, I will sign off on this blog post. Thanks for reading! I better not get any passive-aggressive comments on this post….. =)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-50632917621913472022012-11-01T22:24:00.000-07:002012-11-01T22:25:40.944-07:00Halloween Costume Awards 2012!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">It may be the day after Halloween, but it's NEVER too late for a costume blog post! Below are the best couple/family costumes that I've come across this year. Maybe this will give you all some ideas for next year!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Drum roll please......</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Presenting the award for <u>Most Unique Couples Costume: Google Maps!</u></span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB7ksZY_VgU-UrSpI8y3s1DDFZduGz-3h2K31_zN3Vylt4giuesRTwyhs1KZegcn3CyIbM0W_LZFLJ-fiWZ84D2wav1u7MEFOeJHmWlKWozMYU2wZS81hSiNEzdLO9Qep4IvFZJ5pF0oBF/s1600/image.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB7ksZY_VgU-UrSpI8y3s1DDFZduGz-3h2K31_zN3Vylt4giuesRTwyhs1KZegcn3CyIbM0W_LZFLJ-fiWZ84D2wav1u7MEFOeJHmWlKWozMYU2wZS81hSiNEzdLO9Qep4IvFZJ5pF0oBF/s320/image.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Point A to B with Maps in Between!</span></td></tr>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><span style="font-size: large;">Hipster-est Couple Costume: Gotye and Kimbra</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaaDsL5mYMIscx0pHy3VKRWDXYYyvjhVpN9gAiNhcSb-BeOvzcnsBSTA82o0hPogpwv7Wr8hN-9laJDGqQluSBWXXfoDxd_23LF8cpgOlkt4qjz8CYERROA4YWspngbhS9LxMgBzgdq3R1/s1600/image+(2).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaaDsL5mYMIscx0pHy3VKRWDXYYyvjhVpN9gAiNhcSb-BeOvzcnsBSTA82o0hPogpwv7Wr8hN-9laJDGqQluSBWXXfoDxd_23LF8cpgOlkt4qjz8CYERROA4YWspngbhS9LxMgBzgdq3R1/s320/image+(2).jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">I have no idea how they did it, but it's pretty sweet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Creepiest Couple Costume: Mr. and Mrs. Hello Kitty </u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieWhRlOEBTZeYJGfL1UlnEMi0X6ESPtXgpWOGw0JpN2aKGet72P0kIqEH8Up4I9clqGOJYr62L8iwqkBiBUI3ML8RCGOw8799-Ozb5Cy9BCshrUm9njQnqkuFdbigRA2TsM5eF8ZTfhMg_/s1600/image+(1).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieWhRlOEBTZeYJGfL1UlnEMi0X6ESPtXgpWOGw0JpN2aKGet72P0kIqEH8Up4I9clqGOJYr62L8iwqkBiBUI3ML8RCGOw8799-Ozb5Cy9BCshrUm9njQnqkuFdbigRA2TsM5eF8ZTfhMg_/s400/image+(1).jpeg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am a huge HK fan...and I'm terrified.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u><b><br />Muppitiest Costume: The Manah-Manah Aliens! </b></u></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxi_voISNDooaFOx_e9ysnlJw9SCQMe7IYefBw0Bfa_LSK7WCSig4uzIZZWihtkQYqSAxmhfUlrLIIrblYJ1AtD2-CN7xtbkfzQ2FtKo7ts9hPT_Pcyg1lVig0Vyj1JInZGb8wkJ_AUtiE/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxi_voISNDooaFOx_e9ysnlJw9SCQMe7IYefBw0Bfa_LSK7WCSig4uzIZZWihtkQYqSAxmhfUlrLIIrblYJ1AtD2-CN7xtbkfzQ2FtKo7ts9hPT_Pcyg1lVig0Vyj1JInZGb8wkJ_AUtiE/s400/photo.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Best Disney costume: Mary Poppins and Burt</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEias6wih27pf202MuPTV-w4a5oqDc99P8a4K2aQhmThXIkkBeT7BMrHJNNoZ00S_ZNXb80XGT5ooLkBFJ4WheSddwEexdEYKh_l0ZwO9dYq2uQifO615VpPXs1_LAZEmuRKWeBHKWhGxuR5/s1600/image+(7).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEias6wih27pf202MuPTV-w4a5oqDc99P8a4K2aQhmThXIkkBeT7BMrHJNNoZ00S_ZNXb80XGT5ooLkBFJ4WheSddwEexdEYKh_l0ZwO9dYq2uQifO615VpPXs1_LAZEmuRKWeBHKWhGxuR5/s400/image+(7).jpeg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Chim-Chimney Chim Chim Chim Cheroo!</span></td></tr>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Best Father and Son Couple Costume: Up!</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IRz3anYD2wBzemc8mJRqSV1CJYY6iSEizmctPvBsMhePKMpfKumRfPuAGKQ3aJJ3SHKZjl_vuVErBiTsUTodTlgSg3U1MllvsXboyH_xqdTf1P7oMfOn3Z0tLU_mGPFBRHtOUyHpYDms/s1600/image+(5).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IRz3anYD2wBzemc8mJRqSV1CJYY6iSEizmctPvBsMhePKMpfKumRfPuAGKQ3aJJ3SHKZjl_vuVErBiTsUTodTlgSg3U1MllvsXboyH_xqdTf1P7oMfOn3Z0tLU_mGPFBRHtOUyHpYDms/s320/image+(5).jpeg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ridonkulously Cute!!!!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Best Star Wars Couple Costume: EWOKS!!!</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8WwHUtzW3LA7EMpFZNjy4sgxw5MpSLAEMBy0MYw4-n0-0bLZZ-4liDmCcwFWU6X1M_4NzdlKCNrsAzoes-ORFyu6YPdxFFd1Bsnasq92EdvKtJ1Ly4Q9IOwncOQk-Ck-R2Ky7sRdHq2mG/s1600/325596248029533660_cZ9aPoAa_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8WwHUtzW3LA7EMpFZNjy4sgxw5MpSLAEMBy0MYw4-n0-0bLZZ-4liDmCcwFWU6X1M_4NzdlKCNrsAzoes-ORFyu6YPdxFFd1Bsnasq92EdvKtJ1Ly4Q9IOwncOQk-Ck-R2Ky7sRdHq2mG/s400/325596248029533660_cZ9aPoAa_b.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ewok BFFS.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Best Harry Potter Costume: Harry and Ron as Lovers </u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgacFM2ycsPGFIRI341LQMJe5rN812M6tCxt9zI5aYETdifvXPFlhCsJc7qGZiUqb8Ri9Jkhu38JTB52Ujk0RqLxId8FSinbTbtXvds1H2llbK8LjaN_8Mn0TYtv7Z5zeTnoiOZ-nFUPO-j/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgacFM2ycsPGFIRI341LQMJe5rN812M6tCxt9zI5aYETdifvXPFlhCsJc7qGZiUqb8Ri9Jkhu38JTB52Ujk0RqLxId8FSinbTbtXvds1H2llbK8LjaN_8Mn0TYtv7Z5zeTnoiOZ-nFUPO-j/s320/photo+(1).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The perfect spin on the Hogwarts BFFs....<br />If it weren't for Hermione I'd believe it!!!<br />These two are just two cute <3 br="br"><br /><!--3--></3></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Best Barbie and Ken: Toy Story Style</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoajdRkTJkcDYjT7NrdHGxyxwjHPqD4xWoXYHuV-dKifl989_3HsCul7-aOrK_SFpTKarLTIG1bBxslgmZ1ebBATTVSpG2iUI-pIVZbEKrGYP8n_jh-HdZZEfPraZKkCcVi6XWCjqH-gJ/s1600/barbie_n_ken_with_kens_jeep1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoajdRkTJkcDYjT7NrdHGxyxwjHPqD4xWoXYHuV-dKifl989_3HsCul7-aOrK_SFpTKarLTIG1bBxslgmZ1ebBATTVSpG2iUI-pIVZbEKrGYP8n_jh-HdZZEfPraZKkCcVi6XWCjqH-gJ/s400/barbie_n_ken_with_kens_jeep1.jpg" width="295" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Perfect addition to Barbie/Ken couple idea!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>The Nerdiest Family award goes to.....The Drogo Family from Game of Thrones!</u></b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMR14JQX4yTkACAloKE4Snc9ZqhueB9ISpaKvTwkp1b5R-5hWUr8UwtVEw54hi5yR5mN7YPDs_uxsVgVKgAZygNeF6DG5m3pMGGX79jV7suvoKoWUG7ZaQrG8zNsmfx6whs5yWd3FTEDhS/s1600/image+(8).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMR14JQX4yTkACAloKE4Snc9ZqhueB9ISpaKvTwkp1b5R-5hWUr8UwtVEw54hi5yR5mN7YPDs_uxsVgVKgAZygNeF6DG5m3pMGGX79jV7suvoKoWUG7ZaQrG8zNsmfx6whs5yWd3FTEDhS/s400/image+(8).jpeg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Featuring Khal, Khaleesi and her <br />little dragons..any GOT fan <br />HAS TO LOVE IT!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Best Zombie couple!</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimfwa9HHyJtAMlKpkdemfVU10cA1EVC4rQKf-bmCdiC7lJYgWcMxiyQ9PnVGJCHYwrTYkUv1G2ntJhRjY_Dr_C6JVaDiCGKQd1eZFFm4CYFA_OLBTxF8umTMOi7iIlYKQSHQFLTTAuYVGH/s1600/2012-10-13-17.57.44sz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimfwa9HHyJtAMlKpkdemfVU10cA1EVC4rQKf-bmCdiC7lJYgWcMxiyQ9PnVGJCHYwrTYkUv1G2ntJhRjY_Dr_C6JVaDiCGKQd1eZFFm4CYFA_OLBTxF8umTMOi7iIlYKQSHQFLTTAuYVGH/s400/2012-10-13-17.57.44sz.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's Legit Zombie Lovin' right there!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Easiest to Execute Costume Couple : Dexter and Murder Victim</u></b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYjOwEC9JnqaiPmkOM-YytVJnuU-8pwdp5K5pHrMvqaK70ZVJcYOUiyXDvtPrl-GRTyrYKjBpVya6ULIz25KSAorPnySV2NNfTpPt0RXq2O7UYtaHmBl7z2LXF5UaZnRm-HmdynfXIZdCV/s1600/tumblr_ltzwkwdb6H1qe1if7o1_250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYjOwEC9JnqaiPmkOM-YytVJnuU-8pwdp5K5pHrMvqaK70ZVJcYOUiyXDvtPrl-GRTyrYKjBpVya6ULIz25KSAorPnySV2NNfTpPt0RXq2O7UYtaHmBl7z2LXF5UaZnRm-HmdynfXIZdCV/s400/tumblr_ltzwkwdb6H1qe1if7o1_250.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's the perfect set up for a heterosexual couple.<br />The girls gets to dress slutty and the<br />guys costume is super easy .</span> </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Best cartoon couple: Finn and Princess Bubblegum</u></b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqzyoU2me2rx31Z8_Z69rep0w4G-Ulde0EHyj5izmO0mOrmiooRPxxf8T9s6CTvQskP_jL43v74uFKI9NZbagN12DWEU8CYzD-DqtA4zI4DceBaP9fmnpZVm5KgJECmVlywX_jIGk65ShK/s1600/3671552741_848f0cea57.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqzyoU2me2rx31Z8_Z69rep0w4G-Ulde0EHyj5izmO0mOrmiooRPxxf8T9s6CTvQskP_jL43v74uFKI9NZbagN12DWEU8CYzD-DqtA4zI4DceBaP9fmnpZVm5KgJECmVlywX_jIGk65ShK/s400/3671552741_848f0cea57.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I may be biased because I love Adventure Time, <br />but you have to admit this is a great one!<br /><b><u><br />Best indie film couple costume: Suz</u></b></span><b><u><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">y and Sam from </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">Moonrise Kingdom</i></u></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oAar8WXWdnAreorRisICZK2-h2Fs8FYsjXsaGdH5XupeWvMxOpCUFipGhbzCf1mCfg26J1Iu8y2hjs5e-hG3_BWzumFX7HHfZ1sFHYxxUrQpmJIZ0TM_7cwWl2yG5HTyiQ9Fu70K_bE2/s1600/costume4-moonrise-kingdom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oAar8WXWdnAreorRisICZK2-h2Fs8FYsjXsaGdH5XupeWvMxOpCUFipGhbzCf1mCfg26J1Iu8y2hjs5e-hG3_BWzumFX7HHfZ1sFHYxxUrQpmJIZ0TM_7cwWl2yG5HTyiQ9Fu70K_bE2/s640/costume4-moonrise-kingdom.jpg" width="384" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Last but not least....WORST COUPLE COSTUME OF THE YEAR goes to....Woman in Labor and Baby.</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxbGGAsJGcPcsJwd0QZVRVYCPqSH4XmMkhaSLhEfy4ODvYTbCrLwuENcrxTqe944nHnkzFwUcBQBMOKHg1tOxx2eB7uK5OopZjAsoAfVKhHwazQLitFZoMkBOIwG8iYBaJ3zegv77V6NY0/s1600/186688347024322110_skh2kf1e_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxbGGAsJGcPcsJwd0QZVRVYCPqSH4XmMkhaSLhEfy4ODvYTbCrLwuENcrxTqe944nHnkzFwUcBQBMOKHg1tOxx2eB7uK5OopZjAsoAfVKhHwazQLitFZoMkBOIwG8iYBaJ3zegv77V6NY0/s320/186688347024322110_skh2kf1e_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No one...and I mean NO ONE wants to see that. I think I'm going to see that man's face in my nightmares for the rest of the year. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Next year I hope to have some more submissions for best couple/family costumes! Until then...Happy Halloween!!!!</span></div>
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-2188376355722493782012-10-31T09:00:00.000-07:002012-10-31T09:04:17.491-07:00Music Spotlight: What Connor Oberst Taught Me About Relationships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYUTPUJMYAxMiDq0ydbUAmDzRhdMeTz3Gj33Cx3PcZL_zunll1GpXWqm6QgGYldc90H-pGvRUSWYHj9I6aGsEzNxkiUhDRowv0HXBh2l3dN9IOtHs_g6KF-J_4P_14LdMmqPtb85kkebw1/s1600/image+(2).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" qea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYUTPUJMYAxMiDq0ydbUAmDzRhdMeTz3Gj33Cx3PcZL_zunll1GpXWqm6QgGYldc90H-pGvRUSWYHj9I6aGsEzNxkiUhDRowv0HXBh2l3dN9IOtHs_g6KF-J_4P_14LdMmqPtb85kkebw1/s320/image+(2).jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Not everyone is a fan of the band "Bright Eyes" or their lead singer, Connor Oberst, and to be honest I don't blame anyone for it. His musical style and voice isn't for everyone, and most people I meet either love the band or hate them. I fell in love with them in my late teens - early 20s, during a time of misplaced angst and exploration. I listened to Bright Eyes when I was sad, happy, angry, heartbroken and in love. The poetry, widsom, and insight on human relationships featured in every Bright Eyes song is what will keep them on my "Top 3" bands list forever! Since I love them so much I thought I'd share some of my favorite song quotes, without commentary. I think they speak for themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>On Love......</strong></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8KRnKcJ7jlj_l9AJgR-SejpVBSz2W43Ecx3-3eDySb9ppcRNMwXVmcCJeDmZeZy9WHv06cJAFA8jujYUdGsUwPY0C8tLBfo4FdM58t-omX1a2vWTeG6ORFz-SSNCqX90mgclXLM8hPGTs/s1600/image+(4).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="209" qea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8KRnKcJ7jlj_l9AJgR-SejpVBSz2W43Ecx3-3eDySb9ppcRNMwXVmcCJeDmZeZy9WHv06cJAFA8jujYUdGsUwPY0C8tLBfo4FdM58t-omX1a2vWTeG6ORFz-SSNCqX90mgclXLM8hPGTs/s320/image+(4).jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"First Day of My Life" Album: <em>I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning</em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery; To love and be loved. Let's just hope that is enough." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>-Let's Not Sh*t Ourselves (To Love and Be Loved) <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Album: Lifted Or The Story Is In The Soil, Keep Your Ear To The Ground</strong></span></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>On Heartbreak....</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"But you, but you, you write such pretty words. Well life's no story book. Love's an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do. I do. Then hurt me." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>Lover I Don't Have to Love</em> - <strong><em>Album: Lifted</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"But if you stay too long inside my memory, I will trap you in a song tied to a melody, and I will keep you there so you can't bother me." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>Take it Easy (Love Nothing)</em> - <strong><em>Album: Digital Ash in A Digital Urn</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="gend-link">"If you walk away, I'll walk away. First tell me which road you will take. I don't want to risk our paths crossing someday. So you walk away, I'll walk this way." </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><em>Land Locked Blues - <strong>Album: I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>On Life.....</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"So I go back and forth forever,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">All my thoughts they come in pairs,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Oh I will, I won't, I doubt, I don't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m not surprised, but I never feel quite prepared."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em><span style="font-size: small;">Another Travelin' Song - <strong>Album: I'm Wide Awake. It's Morning.</strong></span></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Id rather be working for a paycheck, than waiting to win the lottery.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"First Day of My Life" - <strong>Album: <em>I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning</em></strong></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCbgkYIBYrC6XtfWiE2AVscZ3KSgrSFfOWmuQ9GSa_yCIIHOtZbiquMlfakmijLxrnUKO0DFz2vZK3qbYJL5PIt-oQv6mntAcamt6TGxiyvRHn2pATz_cjkZwVYL48Dz9CvrefLe6FfOKc/s1600/image.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" qea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCbgkYIBYrC6XtfWiE2AVscZ3KSgrSFfOWmuQ9GSa_yCIIHOtZbiquMlfakmijLxrnUKO0DFz2vZK3qbYJL5PIt-oQv6mntAcamt6TGxiyvRHn2pATz_cjkZwVYL48Dz9CvrefLe6FfOKc/s320/image.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"First Day of My Life" - Album: <em>I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning</em></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"If you hate the taste of wine, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why do you drink it 'til you’re blind?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And if you swear that there’s no truth </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and who cares. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">How come you say it like you’re right?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We Are Nowhere, And It's Now. - <strong>Album: I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>On Sadness:</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Now and again it seems worse than it is, but mostly the view is accurate."</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><em>Something Vague</em> -<em><strong> Album: Fevers And Mirrors</strong></em></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"So that's how I learned the lesson, that everyone's alone, and your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em> A Bowl of Oranges - <strong>Album: Lifted</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Hold your sadness like a puppet, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">keep putting on the play.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But everything you do is leading to the point</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">where you just won't know what to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And at that moment you may laugh</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you."</span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sunrise, Sunset - <strong>Album: Fevers and Mirrors (2000)</strong></span></em><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span class="gend-link"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>On Happiness....</strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"'Cause if I can't make myself feel better, how am I supposed to expect anyone else to give a sh*t." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>If Winter Ends - <strong>Album: Letting Off The Happiness</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyk-j7r-zHWGD4gLl3j_vZeM_Ss1x2k78NCP-aAzQGLw4_Dw3k3JWZt1n4DkFn7gIrroOdBOFCRT0SQK2aFuFuvcGtVq9IxtMueyApgiLI13RO6RfLCG_bfvTv4KEiuzSSiZVkcYFjMRV8/s1600/sfasdfsdfjpeg.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" qea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyk-j7r-zHWGD4gLl3j_vZeM_Ss1x2k78NCP-aAzQGLw4_Dw3k3JWZt1n4DkFn7gIrroOdBOFCRT0SQK2aFuFuvcGtVq9IxtMueyApgiLI13RO6RfLCG_bfvTv4KEiuzSSiZVkcYFjMRV8/s1600/sfasdfsdfjpeg.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The Joy in Forgetting / The Joy in Acceptance"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-58860267823562996222012-10-25T14:10:00.000-07:002012-10-25T14:22:43.502-07:00What Traveling Taught Me About Relationships: 6 "Nuggets" of Travel Wisdom <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Those of you who know me personally know I recently took a two week Europe trip with friends. Besides the fact that it was an amazing trip full of stunning sights and history, it was also a learning experience. After reflecting on the trip, I realize that everything I learned can easily be applied to any relationship, so I thought I’d share my newfound wisdom in a blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, this gives me a chance to post even more pictures, OH YEA! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>#1 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM</u></strong>: <em>Space is Not a Bad Thing</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">When traveling, a main area of focus is usually on is what to pack, transportation and planning. The last thing you are preparing for is the fact that you are going to see your friends (or family) 24-7 for two weeks STRAIGHT. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You love your friends and family, but there is no way any person could spend all-day every-day with someone and not need space, right? My advice while travelling with others is to take the space you need at the right time. Let me be clear, the “right time” is not while you’re in the middle of a metro station after your phone died and no one can get a hold of you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The same rule applies to relationships - we need to allow the other person to breathe and have their own sense of identity, no matter how serious the relationship. Taking space includes pursuing separate interests, taking independent time to spend with friends, or just going for a solitary walk. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This way you keep your sense of self (and sanity) and you decrease the chance of petty arguments. Plus, how can you miss someone if they’re ALWAYS THERE</span>?</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHf942RjlLYHL0rZm2TV2VE9nbjEK6a6KaYL1_jMniWZxPvRkwAE91ubVjSw3QbmjCo7L3XC1EkyanbkX217jP90ZIFwqTP0SftmUCbZ76meoAh9mSf6kOPfGo8dG7e1LP9EPjRf0vOzn/s1600/photo%5B3%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" oea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHf942RjlLYHL0rZm2TV2VE9nbjEK6a6KaYL1_jMniWZxPvRkwAE91ubVjSw3QbmjCo7L3XC1EkyanbkX217jP90ZIFwqTP0SftmUCbZ76meoAh9mSf6kOPfGo8dG7e1LP9EPjRf0vOzn/s400/photo%5B3%5D.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>The beach in Barcelona, Spain</strong></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>#2 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM:</u></strong> <em>Everyone is allowed to get angry from time to time</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that feeling or displaying anger is not a sign of weakness. I think we live in a suppressed society where if you show how you feel, you are sending the message that you are not strong enough to “control” your emotions. I’m not saying you should get so angry that you pull a Mike the Situation and slam your head against the wall every time someone pisses you off. There are destructive ways to express emotions that involve hurting yourself or others, but there are also constructive ways. In any relationship it is important to express emotions like anger or annoyance because suppressing them will just make it worse. People are bound to annoy you whether you want them to or not, and putting on a smile and acting like “everything’s okay” is eventually going to cause things to explode. Usually when we feel threatened by someone who is expressing their feelings it’s because we’d much rather “keep things peaceful” and push emotions under the rug. However let me reiterate that holding in emotion is like squeezing a tube of toothpaste with the lid on: if you squeeze hard or long enough, eventually the tooth paste is gonna come out and it’s most likely going to make a mess. Maybe that’s a bad analogy, but who cares! You get the point! Why not allow people to express how they feel and not feel threatened by their anger? In turn, don’t feel threatened by your own anger – it’s an emotional just like the rest of them! </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Seine - Paris, France</strong></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>#3 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM:</u></strong> <em>Let go of your control issues</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">This one’s a BIG one for me. Let’s face it – you can read every informative book, download a million apps and Google directions ahead of time, but when you travel there is still a very likely change you WILL get lost. It is important to let go of the desire to control the outcome of every situation. This applies to both relationships and travel. Anxious people everywhere will agree that thinking about a problem over and over is not going to solve it (yet they do it anyway.) The best you can do in a situation is to be as prepared as you can and then go along for the ride. It took me halfway through my trip to learn that and I’m still learning it in my current relationship! However, once you truly let spontaneity take over, some of the most exciting things happen and then you realize why planning is not always the best way to go.</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Westminster Abbey</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u># 4 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM:</u></strong> <em>Stop being defensive</em></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong. No one likes to say they made a mistake or they don’t have things under control (see #3). However, we are finite beings with a limited understanding of the world, so it’s only natural to make mistakes. If you’re doing your best and you still make a mistake, that’s OK – determine how you can change it up and do things better the next time around. The best qualities a person can develop are being pliable and open to change. When someone confronts you with something negative about yourself, why not be open to that suggestion? I learned on my trip to admit when I’m wrong and that sometimes I don’t know what the hell I’m doing (BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!). In relationships, if we can’t apologize or admit we messed up, we are going to have a hard time connecting with our partner. I’m right, right? You better say I’m RIGHT!!!</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Barcelona</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u># 5 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM:</u></strong> <em>A little kindness goes a long way</em></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">When you are with someone for a long amount of time, it’s easy to take them for granted. It’s important to take a moment to do something thoughtful or say something kind every now and then. What keeps relationships together is the effort that is placed on the relationship by both people. No one wants a one-sided relationship…well, unless you’re a masochist. <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">KILL EM WITH KINDNESS PEOPLE!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>#6 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM:</u></strong> <em>Take time to LAUGH!</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes during travel you create such a busy agenda in order</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">to see and visit so many places </span><span style="font-size: large;">that you forget to truly enjoy </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">them! In relationships, life can get so busy that you forget to </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">make some inside jokes and laugh your </span><span style="font-size: large;">ass off in the subway for</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">no reason. Who cares if people think you’re crazy? Just hold on to </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">your </span><span style="font-size: large;">bag and passport and you’ll be fine <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-84159066120727960202012-09-02T19:26:00.001-07:002012-09-12T20:47:00.315-07:00Why We Need More Women Like Mindy Kaling In The World. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you are a fellow lover of the TV show, "The Office" (preferably pre-Michael Scott) then you know Mindy Kaling as the actress who plays Kelly Kapour, a celebrity-obsessed young woman with a high pitched voice and a hankering for dysfunctional relationships. What you may not know is that Mindy is an AMAZING writer. She has written some of the most brilliantly funny "Office" episodes and a hilarious book called, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Hanging-Without-Other-Concerns/dp/0307886263">"Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?"</a> which you should read if you haven't yet. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So after reading Mindy's book I've decided that she's a genius and she knows WHAT'S UP in the world of relationships, very unlike the character she played on "The Office." Here are a couple highlights....</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">MEN VS. BOYS Per Mindy Kaling:</span></span></u></b><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Men...make concrete plans. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men tip generously. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before." </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This hilarious rant is then preceded with her explanation that this may not be completely accurate and that she devised this definition by combining a range of characters from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to her father. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So what are boys?<i> "Boys are adorable. Boys trail out their sentences in an appealing way. Boys bring a knapsack to work. Boys get a hair cut from their roommate. Boys can pack up their whole life duffle bag and move to Brooklyn if they need to. Boys have 'gigs.' Boys are broke, and when they do have money they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival. Boys don't know how to adjust their conversation when they are talking to their friends or to your parents. Boys let your parents pay for dinner when you all go out, it's assumed."</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">She goes on to say that boys can be fun, they make you homemade gifts, talk for hours with you at a diner at 3am because they don't have regular jobs - but they suck to date when you turn 30. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><u><b>Mindy Kaling on Marriage: </b></u></span><br />
<i><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"C'mon married people - I don't wanna hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you watch every episode of 'The Bachelor' together in secret shame. Or that one of you got hooked to 'Breaking Bad,' and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it, because I want to know that it's possible for myself." </span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love what Mindy has to say about marriage because it's hopeful and honest. We hear a lot about marriage being "hard work" and less of a focus on what makes a marriage or long-term relationships WORK. Why not give your significant other a high-five because you both had a successful day, and the kids are safely in bed? Then put on that newest episode of Breaking Bad and sit down in front of the TV with some ice cream. I do that by myself (minus the kids) so why stop when in a relationship! </span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"I guess I think happiness can come in a bunch of forms, and maybe marriage with tons of work makes people happy. But a part of me still thinks - Is it really so hard to make it work? What happened to being pals?" </span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Given Mindy's opinion on marriage, what's your opinion on the definition of "happily ever after" in a committed relationship? Do you think a relationship has to be "work?"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'd like to hear your opinions! and if you haven't read this book yet, READ IT PEOPLE!!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Also be sure to check out Mindy's show this fall on Fox, "The Mindy Project."<a href="http://www.fox.com/programming/shows/?sh=the-mindy-project"> Click here for more details. </a></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mindy As Kelly Kapour. How can you not love her?</td></tr>
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FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-53348214647090858512012-08-14T11:08:00.001-07:002012-08-14T11:08:52.049-07:00Is There Such Thing As "Wasted Time?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's been awhile since I've written a blog post because I've been focusing heavily on perfecting my doctoral personal statements...but I've missed you blog readers!!! So I've decided to bust a quick one out on a topic that I've pondered from time to time....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">I do workshops on personal productivity and empowerment, and the topic of "wasted time" came up in one of the discussions I led. There was a debate to the idea of what constitutes wasted time and whether it even exists at all. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">So my first question is: what is wasted time? Is it the time you spend staring at your lean cuisine heat up in the microwave? Is it the hours of traffic you sit through on your commute to and from work? Maybe it's that extra hour you spent playing games on facebook instead of reading a book. The truth is, the definition of wasted time is going to be different for everyone, depending on their own personal opinion. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">However, there are a couple objective ways that one can waste their time that I think no one will contest with....and here they are:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Worrying about things you can't control</em></strong></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><em><strong>Dwelling on a situation you cannot change</strong></em></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Ruminating over something a person said, or and event that has passed</em></strong></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Spending time trying to change another person</em></strong></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">A common statement people make when a relationship has ended is that it was a waste to spend a great deal of time with a person and invest your emotions, and then have it go no where. But is this truly wasted time? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Think back....Did you learn anything from the relationship? Did you enjoy the time you spent in the relationship? It may not have led to a "happily ever after," but does that mean the relationship was not valid, or meaningful? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It is my personal opinion that no relationship you experience in life is a waste, even if it ended badly. Some may say it is a cop-out to use a failed relationship as a learning experience and that it is just a way to make the pain less or find some reason behind a hurtful situation. Whatever you believe, life is still a learning experience and even if don't learn from the situation right away, you most likely will find something to take from it one day. <em><strong>Every experience we have in life can be beneficial to our emotional growth. </strong></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">I encourage everyone to look at the time they spend in thought, not just action. Yes, sometimes it's fun to play a couple rounds of angry birds in line at the DMV instead of reading the textbook you brought - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! The time I want you all to consider is the time you spent in your thoughts. What do you ruminate on? What do you worry about? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">If you've considered relationships in the past to be a waste of time, is it possible that you learned anything from them? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">and remember.....</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-60188019688331984862012-07-04T23:26:00.003-07:002012-07-05T00:30:44.054-07:00On Parenting, From Someone With No Kids<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUTZw4PQ0ZqSpBnkl91Fdv4T_mWf2N-qEaTuKOj9BvoIuF8lfXxu2F53-0Cf4i8c0wiiPM5kGZxXnA2pJlyJmruNEd_UON0r1Jo4mnzfDLTlgn2dpIiX_Uy-8BbKIOh1GgPHmPOKzgyyGy/s1600/Parenting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUTZw4PQ0ZqSpBnkl91Fdv4T_mWf2N-qEaTuKOj9BvoIuF8lfXxu2F53-0Cf4i8c0wiiPM5kGZxXnA2pJlyJmruNEd_UON0r1Jo4mnzfDLTlgn2dpIiX_Uy-8BbKIOh1GgPHmPOKzgyyGy/s320/Parenting.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">DISCLAIMER: Just a couple notes on parenting...from a non-expert. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Your kids aren't the only ones in the entire universe. </span></b></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know they are special - but unfortunately all children are special. I'm sorry to break it to you! I love that your kids are cute and I want to admire that cuteness, but it completely ruins it when the kid knows they can get away with anything just because they are cute! If your kid is rude, their cuteness is only going to go so far. In addition, don't expect every person to give your kid special treatment for things just because it's your kid. They aren't going to get first in line for everything, or be the most popular kid in school. Believe it or not, your child's teacher is also in charge of 30+ other students (hail to the teachers of the U.S. school systems!). Just have a little consideration, it's all I ask. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</b></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">For those who get annoyed at kids who are disruptive in a store or restaurant:</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I would like to wipe that smug grin off your face as you look over at the parent and judge them for what their child is doing. How do you know whether they are an adequate parent or not, and who are you to judge? Do you want to come over here and try to explain why this child cannot play battleship with the salt and pepper shakers? Would you like to try to calm the child down yourself, while trying to ignore the burning stares of bystanders around you? All I have to say is....SHAME ON YOU. Because guess what? You were one of those children at one point in your life. I will bet you 18,000 dollars that you once had a tantrum when you were four because your mother made you eat the last bite of creamed corn at Sizzler and you didn't want to. You KNOW that you screamed and plopped yourself down on the floor of Toys R' Us because your mom would only let you have one Polly Pocket instead of two. So next time you give someone an annoyed look because their child is being loud, think again. I swear, next time I see someone giving a look to a child like that I will call them out and tell them to get off their "I'm an adult and I pretend children don't exist" high horse. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Is it really necessary for your kid to participate in 12 different extracurricular activities?</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Soccer on Wednesdays. Karate on Monday afternoon. Saturday baseball games. Dance class on Thursdays. Oh yes, and don't forget swimming lessons, chess lessons, horseback riding lessons, English tutoring, *insert foreign language* class, Tennis lessons, Girl Scouts, gymnastics, and cooking class. Just because all of these wonderful options are available for kids doesn't mean they need to do ALL of them simultaneously. How is a kid supposed to be able to retain anything they learn in school if they get home and are immediately shipped to another activity? Kids need rest, sleep and not to be bogged down with a million different things at once. That's just my opinion, but I'm sure there is some empirical research out there that supports me :)</span><br />
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</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">If your kid is having behavioral problems, deal with them instead of figuring out who to blame. </span></b></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You have the power to create the boundaries and support your child's needs to improve their behavioral problems. It's not their teachers, siblings, nannies or friends fault - it's yours. Even if their behavioral problems are due to a biological disorder it is your responsibility to get them the help they need! Putting them on an organic diet with no sugar isn't going to make a difference, despite how much hope you put into that alternative. Telling them they can't watch anymore TV also isn't going to make a change. I don't even recommend just shipping the kid off to therapist and expecting the therapist to figure it out. Child therapy requires 100% parent contribution and involvement. Take responsibility for your spawn people!</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Don't let technology raise your children.</b></span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's so tempting isn't it? When they are throwing food at each other across the table and screaming at the top of their lungs, the idea of just plopping them in front of an episode of, "Dora the Explorer" sounds so enticing. Okay, maybe Dora was a bad choice. Today we have so many forms of technology to distract children: game consoles, IPADs, the Itouch, the internet. It's so easy to let these forms of technology do the parenting instead of getting involved. I admire parents who play imaginative games with their children, paint with them and read with them. It's such a rewarding experience to teach a child something in an active way. The library is the most amazing place in the world for kids! Don't underestimate the power of a wonderful book in a child's life. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for teaching a kid how to play "angry birds" --- All I ask is that you balance that out with a ritual evening bedtime story reading session and I will be quite satisfied!</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;"></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Please don't let me see another one of your kids in a rated "R" movie again.</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I recently had an experience where I watched two different movies in a weekend, both rated "R", and had the displeasure of seeing preschool aged children in the theater with their parents. REALLY? I'm pretty sure that this experience is what sparked this blog post. This is just NOT okay no matter how you want to explain it to me. There is absolutely nothing right about taking a child to a movie where the first scene has nudity and profanity in it. I don't care if they are 4 years old, they hear <u><b>EVERYTHING </b></u>and they understand <u><b>EVERYTHING</b></u>! In fact, according to Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, children between the ages of 3-5 are exploring the world and copying everything they see in order to re-enact that and take "initiative" of their own. Is this what you want your child to copy? I'm sorry if you couldn't find a babysitter or can't afford one, but you still had to pay for the child to get in the theater and for the tub of buttery popcorn sitting in their lap. In my opinion, a person who subjects their child to something beyond their maturity level is a selfish human being who shouldn't have been allowed to have children in the first place. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe I'll write another follow up blog one day after I have children....until then, thanks for reading.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'd love to hear any additions, comments or concerns about my anger regarding the welfare of the future generation.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">:) </span></div>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-60861089677623721622012-07-01T22:55:00.003-07:002012-07-01T22:58:29.331-07:00The Top 5 Risk Factors That End Relationships<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">As you may have already noticed, I enjoy listing things. It is most likely because I use listing as the main organizational tool for my life (you should try it sometime, it works!). So to follow through with my recent tradition, here's yet another "list" blog post. In my preparation for a doctoral program, in which I would like to have an emphasis in Family and Couples therapy, I have been doing some reading in the "Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy." It's a 700+ page book full of details on all of the therapeutic intervention for couples. My old roommate and fellow bibliophile commented on my <a href="http://goodreads.com/">Goodreads.com</a> update for this book saying, "Oooo page turner!" </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay I'll have to admit -- this isn't a book you read as you relax and sip a margarita by the pool. However, fear not! Instead of encouraging you to pick up this book and read it yourself, I'm going to summarize a portion that I thought to be quite informative and telling regarding why relationships end.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">#1 Poor Communication</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTUPaXcjnX1O2ACVNR-1g5Rkevhyphenhyphenn-p2Cz33JUyHylzciU3OmroaW4fnKpyB2FUhpu59lD53NvlrMx9VUvUWpCkiM4dKKmD-ehW95XXHU08LTMHdKcYZGct9KJZUM4EmYOAdwZevpE79uM/s1600/resident-neurotic-woody-allen-neurotic-humor-demotivational-posters-1304498716.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-size: large;">Studies have been done on marriages over a long period of time (i.e. longitudinal studies) to discover what create relationship stability. One of the top two risk factors was communication (Karney
and Bradbury, 1995). In another relationship study, it was found that relationship issues can be predicted many years before partners "settle down" or get married based on how they communicate. <br />This almost seems obvious right? If you can't communicate freely and effectively with the person you're with, how do you expect to grow together or understand one another? Unfortunately, these issues don't always become prominent until a couple has moved forward into a higher level of commitment. </span><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVpf6kxFmU16R5EeboCib6rUxUI9PdA2n6oUT1Vt9Vb6_whD9U7cVPS5xMmrOL5zPllRl2LFyE3CmO-JquUwduPUEKH5KJaI62HzAeVcBIC85XSHDNUT0IuBQWSXPILLj2qLtkyTKjrE1/s1600/bstn86l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTUPaXcjnX1O2ACVNR-1g5Rkevhyphenhyphenn-p2Cz33JUyHylzciU3OmroaW4fnKpyB2FUhpu59lD53NvlrMx9VUvUWpCkiM4dKKmD-ehW95XXHU08LTMHdKcYZGct9KJZUM4EmYOAdwZevpE79uM/s1600/resident-neurotic-woody-allen-neurotic-humor-demotivational-posters-1304498716.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTUPaXcjnX1O2ACVNR-1g5Rkevhyphenhyphenn-p2Cz33JUyHylzciU3OmroaW4fnKpyB2FUhpu59lD53NvlrMx9VUvUWpCkiM4dKKmD-ehW95XXHU08LTMHdKcYZGct9KJZUM4EmYOAdwZevpE79uM/s320/resident-neurotic-woody-allen-neurotic-humor-demotivational-posters-1304498716.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">#2. One of the people in </span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">the relationship </span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">is Woody Allen</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He's famous for being an acclaimed director, actor and a bit of a perv.
But most of all he's quite possibly one of the most neurotic people to
inherit the earth. Neuroticism, or a continual display negativity is the second highest risk factor for a relationship. Lesson of the this rule is: don't date a "Debbie Downer" - ha - no just kidding.... but it has been shown that a negative partner can ruin a relationship. It's been said that a negative person is rarely influenced towards positivity. It usually results in the opposite: the positive person being brought down to the negative level. What can I say? Misery loves company. Unhappy people like other people to be unhappy too....and if you can't stand the negative heat, get out of the kitchen. More idioms, please?<br /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>#3. Environmental factors</b></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>
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Two healthy well-adapted individuals can face a devastating event such
as the loss of a child or a financial crisis and unfortunately, it can lead to the end of their relationship.
Everyone copes with extreme loss and heartache in different ways, however not everyone in the world experiences this type of event. It's not something you can specifically prepare for. A couples response to a stressful event may trigger different issues and coping styles and it may
change the way a couple interacts. For married couples, the phrase "for better or for worse" can sail out the window when something tragic happens.This isn't the case with all couples, but it is a definite risk factor. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVpf6kxFmU16R5EeboCib6rUxUI9PdA2n6oUT1Vt9Vb6_whD9U7cVPS5xMmrOL5zPllRl2LFyE3CmO-JquUwduPUEKH5KJaI62HzAeVcBIC85XSHDNUT0IuBQWSXPILLj2qLtkyTKjrE1/s1600/bstn86l.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVpf6kxFmU16R5EeboCib6rUxUI9PdA2n6oUT1Vt9Vb6_whD9U7cVPS5xMmrOL5zPllRl2LFyE3CmO-JquUwduPUEKH5KJaI62HzAeVcBIC85XSHDNUT0IuBQWSXPILLj2qLtkyTKjrE1/s320/bstn86l.jpg" width="303" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">#4. Incompatibility</span></b></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">
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It is possible to have two completely healthy individuals that just aren't right for
each other. One of you may worship the Los Angeles Lakers and the other may have undying love for the Boston Celtics. Either you work it out or you let it go. On a more serious note, it goes beyond differences like - "I'm a Republican and you're a Democrat." Everyone differs in their need for closeness and intimacy.
There's something called a "demand-withdraw" pattern that is studied in couples therapy. It's a cycle where the partner who needs closeness initiates
intimacy and the the partner who needs it less withdraws. You can
imagine how that could build up frustration, anger, and rejection on both parts. This also relates to a person's attachment style and how they communicate their needs. In the end, unmet needs always lead to the destruction of a relationship.</span><br />
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#5. "Jumping In" for the wrong reasons</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Making a lasting commitment to someone for any of the following reasons is a bad, bad idea:</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">1. You don't want to be alone.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">2. You don't think anyone better will come along.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">3. You've been with the person for long enough so you might as well "tie the knot" or move in together...whatever the step may be.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">4. You want to escape your current living situation - i.e. with parents, roommates etc.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Your religion instructs you not to have sex until you're married, so you tie the knot just so you can "get it on!"</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">6. Your biological clock is ticking.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">7. You might as well get more serious since divorce or breaking up is always an open option (DON'T BECOME A STATISTIC IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO!)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">8. For tax purposes (although this is a debated issue)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">9. Because you have a child together (there's no rush!)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">10. You want a wedding. (ladies.....) </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">That's it for today. Thanks for reading! </span></span></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span></div>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-35372613697193839522012-06-19T20:42:00.000-07:002012-06-19T20:42:40.077-07:00Dealing With Conflict: 5 Considerations<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In my opinion, there are only two things you can do in</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">response to conflict: avoid it (i.e. pretend it's not there, ignore it, run from it) or embrace it. Sometimes, it may seem like an easier option to avoid conflict at all costs. However, this alternative can lead to <u>emotional explosions</u>, <u>internal unhappiness and discontent</u>, and <u>hypocrisy</u>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In case you still don't get it, let me spell it out for ya.....</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>Emotional Explosions:</b></u><b> </b>These occur when you hold in conflicted feelings for a long period of time. You continually suppress the negative emotions and days pass until *WHAM* something triggers you and you EXPLODE with frustration and anger. Sound familiar? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>Internal Unhappiness and Discontent:</b></u> Studies indicate that internal unhappiness and discontent stems from low self-esteem and passiveness. When you aren't able to express your conflicted needs and face conflict in a problem solving way, the emotions just stay trapped within and there is no release. Who wants to walk around with all of that baggage inside?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>Hypocrisy:</b></u> When you have a conflicted feeling about another person and you express it to everyone else but THAT person - you are being a hypocrite. We are all guilty of this, however, those who avoid conflict are a little bit more guilty than the rest of us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, how then do we deal with conflict? Here are 5 things to consider when facing a conflict that may possibly make the idea a little bit more approachable:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>#1. CHECK your attitude: It's not always what you say, but how you say it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Whenever you're in conflict with someone,
there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your
relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.<br />- William James </i></span></h6>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">William James knew what he was talking about. If you're going to enter an argument with a sour attitude and the goal of putting the other person down with negativity, you're not going to get ANYWHERE. If you can't have a good attitude in the moment then take a breather and re-visit the conflict when you're better prepared to be open minded. That leads me to #2....</span></span></span></span></h6>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>#2. Space is <u>NOT</u> a bad thing</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b>In my experience, I've noticed two additional classifications of people when it comes to conflict: those who "need space" to cool down before they re-visit the subject, and those who want to hash it all out "RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" Being a "RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW" person myself, it's taken me some time to adjust to those "space-needers" in my life. Although I hate to admit it, space can actually be a very good thing in conflict. It gives the body time to relax out of the "fight or flight" mode that activates as soon as a conflict starts, and allows a person to think clearer. In the end, it's a give and take situation: the "space needers" need to reassure their partners that they will revisit the subject when they are ready, and the "RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW's" need to respect their partners request for space, and learn from that beneficial experience. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWMH7zyO-41FQhWbQ9kyGYTuZBU97S8WxP0zRRxKBMXvAY4HqADVAGYVtJHIg9V-UCbEvF2fc14Q9NcL8gCX1Baab3JuvwfMezxCRlMSiRyNc1Zlo4HwDbWY4J0Fb6cdXmbic3neI8Vz5R/s1600/name_calling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWMH7zyO-41FQhWbQ9kyGYTuZBU97S8WxP0zRRxKBMXvAY4HqADVAGYVtJHIg9V-UCbEvF2fc14Q9NcL8gCX1Baab3JuvwfMezxCRlMSiRyNc1Zlo4HwDbWY4J0Fb6cdXmbic3neI8Vz5R/s320/name_calling.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></b></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> NOT an example of a way to deal with conflict =]</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>#3 No Name Calling! </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>A</b></span><span style="font-size: large;">lthough it may feel extremely gratifying to call your partner a "big fat stupid idiot jerk (edited version)," it doesn't further the goal of a <i><u>productive</u></i> resolution. When you call someone a name, the discussion eventually focuses on the names you call each other instead of the actual issue. So when you call your partner, "a spoiled brat" or a "pain in the a$$" because they did something you didn't like, it is most likely that you're going to end up fighting about whether or not these names are true instead of the real issue. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>#4 Be Prepared to Compromise. </b></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I wrote a blog once about compromise. You should check it out </span><a href="http://0itsuptous0.blogspot.com/2011/08/who-is-better-at-compromising-men-or.html" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">here</a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">. Relationships are about compromise and sometimes you have to pick your battles. In addition, you will often just have to agree to disagree. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The beauty of life is that we all have our opinions, experiences and feelings. If we all felt and reacted the same way, we would be robots...or cylons...or droids - take your pick on the nomenclature, nerds.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">#5 Let conflict lead to change, discovery and learning. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If we allow ourselves, we can be transformed by the conflicts in our lives. The way we react and respond to others teach us about our own feelings. When a conflict occurs and you problem-solve the situation, you are able to learn something new about the other person and hopefully improve your relationship with them. Don't just let conflict be conflict - LEARN FROM IT!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And that's all Melanie wrote for today...Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear additional conflict-resolution ideas and thoughts! </span></span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><i></i></span><br />
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<br />FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-5215144284282683152012-05-10T11:54:00.000-07:002012-05-10T12:03:46.197-07:00Textiquette: texting rules for men and women<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmFF98uns7jSPZH1Yxt7Xi88mWuELp8JvnYr1jx_ZcL0lfUZAhCt1qaDVeJC7kH62zvWes51JwP446c7sJ7YFzWMv5_yqntWD1eGbcFBTBFe-m_5lmtdTFY4UbT3d5HiSQlsL59GROf7y6/s1600/1322083291181_2214257.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've discussed the many forms of communication that exist in a former blog - </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">read: <a href="http://0itsuptous0.blogspot.com/2012/04/is-social-networking-ruining_05.html">Is Social Networking Ruining Relationships?</a></span><span style="font-size: large;"> Texting is just one of those many forms that has increased communication and makes us all feel "more connected." Unfortunately, it seems that in addition to a new form of communication, texting has also caused many other complications and <strong>mis</strong>communications. This blog is for all the women who have come to me and said, "What does his text mean?" and for all of the men who have complained, "Why is she freaking out because I didn't text her back in 5 minutes?" This, my dears...is for you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">A one word text is NOT a text.</span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, I'm not going to lie I've sent an "ok" every now and then when I am super busy or I am meeting someone somewhere and I'm going to see them in a matter of minutes. However, It is just NOT cool to send a one word text message to someone after they have sent you a longer meaningful complete sentence. Men ask why women freak out or assume the worst after text message conversations with their significant others? THIS is a main reason. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let me give you an example of when this is okay and not okay. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Acceptable:</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>You:</strong> Hey I'm on my way I'm parking right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Them:</strong> Ok!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">(Notice the exclamation point? See below on PUNCTUATION!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>NOT acceptable:</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Me:</strong> Hey :) I hope you had a great day today I was thinking about you!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Them:</strong> Thanks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This "Thanks" is basically telling me that you are not really appreciating that I am thinking about you and that a text back to me is just an after thought. Whether you want to accept it or not, it's the truth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">One-word-texting was extremely annoying back in the day when unlimited text message wasn't available or too expensive. Now that everyone has a "chat" style text message interface it seems like we treat text messages like instant messages. Which is OK - as long as you don't send a single text like:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"K" or "Ok" or "kk" </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Cool"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Bye"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"haha"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Alright"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">My point is, if you're going to one-word it then, following up with a smily or an exclamation point...or another text. It really doesn't take that LONG! <strong>Think about the message you are conveying when you send a text. It's still communication, even if it's not face to face!</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with using emoticons or punctuation. </span></strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I personally think some men are afraid of using emoticons and punctuation to relay the "feeling" of the conversation. If you look at a text convo between two women I guarantee you there will be at least one punctuation mark and/or emoticon per text. Why? Because we are smarter. No - just kidding. It's really because we convey emotion and feelings through texts as if we were speaking to the person face to face. On the other hand if you look at a text convo between two men there will be minimal activity of either emoticons or punctuation. This causes an issue when men and women try to text each other. Whether you want to admit it or not, there is a different between "Thanks!" and "Thanks." What really is the harm in placing a little exclamation mark at the end of damn sentence?! </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdDZBWGPHyGBPf-qJcxkWk8ihi_JzebECcb2mQ4eI0nDFb2vCVKLioh1ushTs2dbQaCyBgEW03SN8LGiI2l0ktuQjOHXYisC_nFkXMX3_9DsYsDBbGK8UvQFVl4z8-C7fEci1IPSQl8EXj/s1600/tumblr_lvxwleGvN31qjfomwo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdDZBWGPHyGBPf-qJcxkWk8ihi_JzebECcb2mQ4eI0nDFb2vCVKLioh1ushTs2dbQaCyBgEW03SN8LGiI2l0ktuQjOHXYisC_nFkXMX3_9DsYsDBbGK8UvQFVl4z8-C7fEci1IPSQl8EXj/s320/tumblr_lvxwleGvN31qjfomwo1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Don't leave someone hanging when they text you and then update your facebook status. It makes it obvious you are ignoring them.</span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Seriously people, we know you have facebook on your phone and you are updating so if someone texts you, RESPOND. Don't read it, ignore it and then update your facebook status about some irrelevant thing you just did. Sometimes people just want a quick response to a dang question. Okay thanks.</span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Let's be reasonable about response times</span></strong>.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3s4ySd_m0a5AXuS0zw_ox26NiwjmR0xJX50bStMCxM_K9dw8kgUwVlC4RKXr38-2yw1ipiFbbj9XIPO_DGAsoEQL7H6CLVL4uiBiNkzK-_EF-Q9eW4o09q4gYN-FW3tvEjqmuUfz6mXvp/s1600/tumblr_lybx65inXH1qjpyd3o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3s4ySd_m0a5AXuS0zw_ox26NiwjmR0xJX50bStMCxM_K9dw8kgUwVlC4RKXr38-2yw1ipiFbbj9XIPO_DGAsoEQL7H6CLVL4uiBiNkzK-_EF-Q9eW4o09q4gYN-FW3tvEjqmuUfz6mXvp/s400/tumblr_lybx65inXH1qjpyd3o1_500.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay so there are times we are available to text and there are times we arent. What is okay and what isn't?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. <strong><u>DON'T</u></strong> Always expect someone to respond right away - people are busy and not everyone keeps their phone attached to their hip.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">2. <strong><u>DO</u></strong> be courteous and respond to someone eventually. Responding to a text 2 days after the initial response is not okay, unless you explain why you didn't respond - and it better be a damn good reason!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">3. <strong><u>DON'T</u></strong> leave people hanging. If you are in the middle of a convo then you just stop responding, what is that person supposed to think? You FLAKE!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">5. <strong><u>DON'T</u></strong> overanalyze every text someone sends. If you are getting a weird vibe from them, pick up the phone or ask what's up. Half the time it's your own thoughts making you think somethings wrong when its not. <--- got it ladies? :)</span></div>
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<strong> <span style="font-size: x-large;">Bury your phone somewhere when you are drinking. </span></strong></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmFF98uns7jSPZH1Yxt7Xi88mWuELp8JvnYr1jx_ZcL0lfUZAhCt1qaDVeJC7kH62zvWes51JwP446c7sJ7YFzWMv5_yqntWD1eGbcFBTBFe-m_5lmtdTFY4UbT3d5HiSQlsL59GROf7y6/s1600/1322083291181_2214257.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmFF98uns7jSPZH1Yxt7Xi88mWuELp8JvnYr1jx_ZcL0lfUZAhCt1qaDVeJC7kH62zvWes51JwP446c7sJ7YFzWMv5_yqntWD1eGbcFBTBFe-m_5lmtdTFY4UbT3d5HiSQlsL59GROf7y6/s320/1322083291181_2214257.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh the wonderful, amazing things that come through our fingers through texts when we've had a couple beers. If you don't trust yourself, give your phone to a friend. It's just not worth it! The only time drunk texts are positive is when you are out with your friends and you are trying to find each other in a bar while one of you is in the bathroom and the texts look like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>You:</u></strong> Wherbddsa are you?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>Them:</u></strong> I'm at the gogllool </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>You</strong>: Ilv u, i'm so dunk.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Them:</strong> Me too I fuxting need a tnle. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>You:</strong> Wnats e up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This convo may or may not have been a real one ;)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Last note on smiley faces....Don't be the most interesting man in the world, men. Grrr. </strong></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheExv7WfwDNHl__VJCwUoVvhf6BF_d0DPmq-d56bK4QYK0ishGRMWCE0_A85yW2XKpQq5pjXKQDK5Sh03lfa7xX693k2EpznkKJ7sjZkuoMnEiOjH2LSRyw35Juv0lqJfdmim810zBxsSZ/s1600/a-texting-man-gets-no-love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheExv7WfwDNHl__VJCwUoVvhf6BF_d0DPmq-d56bK4QYK0ishGRMWCE0_A85yW2XKpQq5pjXKQDK5Sh03lfa7xX693k2EpznkKJ7sjZkuoMnEiOjH2LSRyw35Juv0lqJfdmim810zBxsSZ/s400/a-texting-man-gets-no-love.jpg" width="319" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-31532888296539457852012-04-23T17:14:00.004-07:002012-04-23T17:23:49.308-07:00Yes, it's another post about P.M.S.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvTBN4XE2A58FAzvlrFzInwY7k49mASFq0osNdEgIF0G5XApk2n2u4ggU3Z5OufmsQFSHmUdJ4Mp9Xn7sCasQP6FljpFD11GUhgT5s4MJs8YKwCNrSM_VhVsla1zfSz5SekpbkEl1n2aXr/s1600/186-020~PMS-Posters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvTBN4XE2A58FAzvlrFzInwY7k49mASFq0osNdEgIF0G5XApk2n2u4ggU3Z5OufmsQFSHmUdJ4Mp9Xn7sCasQP6FljpFD11GUhgT5s4MJs8YKwCNrSM_VhVsla1zfSz5SekpbkEl1n2aXr/s320/186-020~PMS-Posters.jpg" width="250" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">As long-standing, loyal "It's Up to Us blog" readers know, I've already written a blog post about PMS </span><a href="http://0itsuptous0.blogspot.com/2011/07/pmsyes-were-talking-about-it.html"><span style="font-size: large;">read it here! Click!</span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> because I feel it is an important topic that influences </span><span style="font-size: large;">relationships in many ways. It has occurred to me, though, that I just didn't spend enough time discussing such an unbelievably uncomfortable subject. So this blog post is for those hooligans who were yearning and pining for more on what happens during a women's menstrual cycle. Take it away, Melanie! Don't mind if I do....</span><br />
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</span><span style="font-size: large;">PMS really sucks (have I said that already?). There is no intellectual, scientific or spiritual way to explain exactly HOW frustrating and debilitating the emotions can be, especially when a woman considers herself a strong, independent and driven person. When the hormones caused by pre-menstrual syndrome plague a woman's body, even menial tasks can seem like climbing Mount Everest. It can be hard to concentrate and for some women, hard to find the motivation to get through the day. It's different for all women, of course. Some have extreme symptoms, while some have none at all (you bastards!). However, we can all agree that it's not an easy subject to deal with. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The only way I know how to deal with difficult subjects is with a little humor......</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi38Pd1fWaTxCqGPVrJRPwhBZuaOnOnqgwsi6YtFZC8E3LiPXETvJUGL09F_dH-CjIEpO60UbsY4wk2FI-2OByeltycG3mwCfMRgLYxRR8zxEzw6qu5o05KIaHRbCKSDOIw_QuWNDVn8-Xg/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="220" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi38Pd1fWaTxCqGPVrJRPwhBZuaOnOnqgwsi6YtFZC8E3LiPXETvJUGL09F_dH-CjIEpO60UbsY4wk2FI-2OByeltycG3mwCfMRgLYxRR8zxEzw6qu5o05KIaHRbCKSDOIw_QuWNDVn8-Xg/s320/photo.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Dear ________, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Please...please tell me my skin looks amazing - because I guarantee you that despite the nightly mud masks I've been doing to clear my pores my face still looks disgusting under this makeup. Why is it that we turn into pubescent teenagers during the week before our periods?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have I lost weight? Why yes, darling of course I have! Never mind the king size bag of peanut butter M&M's I ate last night in bed while watching "Beaches" for the 300th time. That is, of course why I am wearing sweats and why I look adorable in them. Thank you so much for acknowledging how cute I am when I become offended at everything you say and expect you to apologize for things you didn't do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Love, your PMSing sister,wife,friend,girlfriend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">P.S. bring some chocolate home with you. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiumUm4GpVqtG2MmYRORmbpcxURvkDYcJoDMrcV3ikNDESiBpd96Ev4O-MT5_EuvVssVIdrXtwTf1YJlHBkw5MjAZTmnGRsjqJ0dyqVphIw3OM5iN6Fqrrkqo8DQ13GVt0-cQpCqzqG69lb/s1600/dsasdad" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="218" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiumUm4GpVqtG2MmYRORmbpcxURvkDYcJoDMrcV3ikNDESiBpd96Ev4O-MT5_EuvVssVIdrXtwTf1YJlHBkw5MjAZTmnGRsjqJ0dyqVphIw3OM5iN6Fqrrkqo8DQ13GVt0-cQpCqzqG69lb/s320/dsasdad" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">&lt;-----------This is a completely legitimate fear. Do you understand how it feels to seem crazy for a week out of every month, especially if this isn't something you normally experience? In addition to the symptoms is the guilt of feeling unable to function normally. In my experience, feeling guilty about feeling emotional and unstable only compounds the problem. Maybe we all should stop trying to act like everythings O.K. and own up to the fact that we are PMSing the crap out of ourselves and need to lie down. Also, God forbid that a day every arrives where medical researchers discover that PMS isn't real and these are our real personalities. I guarantee you it will be worse than the zombie apocalypse.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKS8km37PHotnIQtWCi8cTlKTtQaNlW7AuL6xCE1YNZ8Tn0S0oD4f_3qo7YJD9JD5tWJLjmV3nvvQBPM40R97uD8eTO3VO_c0c5kCmtkYE2tBykRPMSLuLVmvIwjdKGa2AqcvhOBBmRA12/s1600/punishmenseverely" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKS8km37PHotnIQtWCi8cTlKTtQaNlW7AuL6xCE1YNZ8Tn0S0oD4f_3qo7YJD9JD5tWJLjmV3nvvQBPM40R97uD8eTO3VO_c0c5kCmtkYE2tBykRPMSLuLVmvIwjdKGa2AqcvhOBBmRA12/s320/punishmenseverely" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">Although I will admit that this acronym is quite funny, it shouldn't be true <strong><u>AT ALL</u></strong>. It is so often that we spend time being rude to people when we are PMSing, especially the important men in our lives. Females, men are not our enemies during this time of turmoil and emotional rollercoasterism ! With the right instruction and tools, men can be our allies and partners against the hormonal fluctuations that rage a battle on our minds and bodies. Let us all gather together and declare war on hormones as they seek to threaten our sanity and well-being! They can take our bodies, but they can't take our relationships! (5 bucks to the first person who tells me what I took that from).</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuqAQULbiBBBS8dIB1UhseRtCCOHDoXU3zxVJ1lBQ2tpdxwSuWy0fREXNmDf0Fq7gyR6aPzgOR-FSOrmxnRoidmxZkwaZZVo9wk258pJGAyUMVHK19uWR5rysCFQIsOAs8cYYxJTrDD-j/s1600/hiho" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuqAQULbiBBBS8dIB1UhseRtCCOHDoXU3zxVJ1lBQ2tpdxwSuWy0fREXNmDf0Fq7gyR6aPzgOR-FSOrmxnRoidmxZkwaZZVo9wk258pJGAyUMVHK19uWR5rysCFQIsOAs8cYYxJTrDD-j/s400/hiho" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hi ho, hi ho...it's off to cry we go. Whistle Whistle *sob* Whistle. Since I love Disney, I adore this little ditty. I'm not quite sure about itchy though. I have yet to feel itchy during my PMS experience. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"> ~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hope you all enjoyed that slightly less serious blog spot on PMS. I cannot guarantee this will be the last one either. Comment away if you dare!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-87089188118932062992012-04-05T11:24:00.007-07:002012-04-05T11:31:51.805-07:00Is Social Networking Ruining Relationships?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG7asFG9NSb8DeqUiJTMjYtyZM6n5dS3_Qa3u1j2TuqHjW9OVdq6I_AcUr7vH9CGqleBIthwwE3c-F_vh9a8sbeZrVIv7tt96fLpQ11anzgdtI993DfRgKTvCLAIT2XvfQTIhiXXglNFZF/s1600/FB.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="96" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG7asFG9NSb8DeqUiJTMjYtyZM6n5dS3_Qa3u1j2TuqHjW9OVdq6I_AcUr7vH9CGqleBIthwwE3c-F_vh9a8sbeZrVIv7tt96fLpQ11anzgdtI993DfRgKTvCLAIT2XvfQTIhiXXglNFZF/s200/FB.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was talking to my mom the other day about dating and </span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">communication and she told me that in her younger dating years there were pretty much only three forms of communication: face to face, the phone (A LANDLINE phone), and letters (aka snail mail). Not only that, but her college dorm had only one communal phone for use in the dorm hall. She had to wait her turn to make any calls and it was almost impossible to receive calls. I compare that to how things are today and I realize how drastically things have changed. Now, how many forms of communication are there? Lets count: face to face, a landline phone, a cell phone, letters (I miss these), emailing, texting, IMing, tweeting, instagramming, facebook, skype, games "with friends". I’m sure there are some I’m missing! I just counted </span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">13!! Compared to my moms measly 3 methods of communicating, that number is pretty enormous. Since we have all these new forms of communicating, you’d think we’d be experts at it, right? Unfortunately, this is not even close to the case. Researchers are finding that although we have quadrupled the number of available forms of communication, the quality of the communication has not improved. As I reflect on this issue, I started thinking of some "positives" and "negatives" about the forms communication we have in this generation and how it influences relationships.</span></span></span></span></div><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>POSITIVE:</u> Social networking makes it a lot easier to plan gatherings with friends, which can help maintain relationships.</strong><br />
Those who know me know I love to plan :) . Things like texting and facebook make it a lot easier to plan a group event or even a single outing with a friend because you can send a quick text or facebook invite to see who’s available. It also makes it a lot easier to coordinate! Cheers to the planners out there!</span></span></span></span></div><span style="color: black;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxODcoyW-qa8sv9fiPPBolGBW7EbgDTSqAsrDJGvX-QjG6SKd4v621lNJxcVSEAsIfSzMrFLC86Apn70Bi559AXLz2xqbwJSIE3urbzHMVlU0pW6j5Wppr8wUyxl42-3Ed8NyLph6iJrao/s1600/tttt" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="164" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxODcoyW-qa8sv9fiPPBolGBW7EbgDTSqAsrDJGvX-QjG6SKd4v621lNJxcVSEAsIfSzMrFLC86Apn70Bi559AXLz2xqbwJSIE3urbzHMVlU0pW6j5Wppr8wUyxl42-3Ed8NyLph6iJrao/s200/tttt" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">Survey from MensHealth.com</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><u>NEGATIVE:</u></span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> You have to see what everyone is doing without you</span></strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">. With features like checking in, we now know where everyone is all the time and sometimes that can make a person feel left out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stop checking in. But how many of you have gotten jealous or sad because you were too busy to hang out with your friends then you get to see all their pictures and check-in’s having a BLAST on facebook and it makes you feel like doo-doo? Come on, you know it’s happened. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><u>POSITIVE:</u></span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> It makes it a lot harder for people to lie, or cheat.</span></strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> Has anyone seen the commercial where the guy is on a first date with a girl and he is bragging about how he wants kids, a big house with a picket fence and wants to get married right away, and then she says, “Well how come your relationship status says, ‘Never wants kids?” I love that commercial. Shadiness is harder to accomplish thanks to facebook. Thanks to text messages, there is evidence to prove the douchebaginess of lying men and women everywhere! Muahaha!</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><u><strong>NEGATIVE:</strong></u></span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><strong> A new way to be passive aggressive.</strong> Y</span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">ou’ve seen it and maybe you’ve done it. You’re mad at your significant other and instead of telling them or calling them you post a song, quote or picture that is directed completely towards them. Cowards! As if we already didn’t have a problem with being passive aggressive in our face-to-face interactions….</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"></span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span></span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">POSITIVE:</span></u></b><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm at a loss.</span></b></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><u><strong>NEGATIVE:</strong></u></span> <strong>We are becoming socially inept. I am praying for the future generation. </strong>Have you ever met a person who seems super outgoing, talkative and intelligent on facebook or texting, and then when you are face-to-face with them its like hanging out with a brick wall? All of this typing and written communication is ruining people’s ability to communicate verbally. We have learned to feel comfortable communicating behind the protection of a phone or a computer screen and so much is lost in the process. Non verbal cues make up a large percentage of what we communicate to other people. I’m sorry, but an emoticon does not take the place of real non-verbal cues. -_- Angry Face.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="clear: right; color: black; cssfloat: right; float: right; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpxe0ZtPRUKUSK2gmgRZgw-Etge0tch52mXEUzUgg38rYTwPnJfxWwGAD6CzEsEHbJZRN-6zdql9uLDwSz2gq9WkzPlUbFHVLMNdLWrp-zEFlWAjrU9cjEJDj4vVClfLw3Lod_dkjDFuH/s320/fsdfsdfs" width="304" /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><u><strong>POSITIVE/NEGATIVE:</strong></u></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>We are being forced to define our relationships through social networking sites. </strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Single, In a relationship, It’s complicated, I don’t give a sh*t. Okay maybe I do, because it mattered to me to change my relationship status on facebook. I would most likely be offended if the guy I was seeing didn’t want to change their status. What do they have to hide, right? Maybe it’s a good thing, because it allows you to take ownership of your status, and show the world you are proud of who you are with. However, it can get a bit annoying when someone’s relationship status changes daily.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><u>NEGATIVE:</u></span><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Increased written communication can cause more arguments.</span></strong><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">How many people have gotten in a text argument with someone? BAD IDEA. Trying to communicate feelings and what is REALLY going on by IMing or texting someone never works because everyone types differently and relays information differently. I can’t even count the times where I thought someone was mad at me because of a text message when they were really just responding quickly because they were busy. If you have something important to discuss, pick up the phone or meet up with the person!!! Oh and another thing, don’t get mad because your boyfriend or friends didn’t “like” your status. Also, the number of people who comment your profile picture does NOT define your self-worth. You’re not better than me because you have 500 more facebook friends.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD1XpV9GOq19JlG16aEcdxfbiBoyE_S5tkOOaI-kcMyXTUmM13L7L73uQ0k0EsgLEm_GvcYu6-oj17HAK6-5v5H4pZ7rnC9ey4wqW0s_hgt5bV4oQV_kFfMMORQdNEyIQ8Ry2mJabftTxh/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD1XpV9GOq19JlG16aEcdxfbiBoyE_S5tkOOaI-kcMyXTUmM13L7L73uQ0k0EsgLEm_GvcYu6-oj17HAK6-5v5H4pZ7rnC9ey4wqW0s_hgt5bV4oQV_kFfMMORQdNEyIQ8Ry2mJabftTxh/s320/photo.JPG" width="280" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">this one cracks me up!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Can you think of some more positive/negatives? How do you feel about how social networking is affecting our relationships?</span></span></span></span><strong><br />
</strong></div><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Let me hear your thoughts!</span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-33171959286948970622012-03-08T11:36:00.000-08:002012-03-08T11:36:18.593-08:00Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: Dealing with the Subject of “Unnecessary” Drama<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJykzmK0VCvB4HA6EXEtk_4tkluyAAEIOmPowvIpp6DQ-dW9OCQ73z0HAAyqHWMld_T0yL2ZSeZz_bm_JHQ68-upkkxVq7xWnPUP2zhG9-k6HfB0a1NAKHBC30we9mmYkZIjDDrZcbyUUh/s1600/photo%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJykzmK0VCvB4HA6EXEtk_4tkluyAAEIOmPowvIpp6DQ-dW9OCQ73z0HAAyqHWMld_T0yL2ZSeZz_bm_JHQ68-upkkxVq7xWnPUP2zhG9-k6HfB0a1NAKHBC30we9mmYkZIjDDrZcbyUUh/s320/photo%5B1%5D.JPG" width="229" yda="true" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It quite annoys me when I hear men say that women, “love drama,” however sometimes I think it might be true (to an extent) Why else are all daytime soap operas marketed towards females? You HAVE to have some sort of masochistic love for drama to sit through the torture of Marlena on Days of our Lives getting kidnapped for the 45th time in 20 years. Somehow in the scheme of things the female race has been given the label “drama queen” which is unfortunate because when there actually IS something wrong we get patronized for showing emotion! We can blame it on society or history or the massive boom of “Real Housewives” reality shows. However, men also have the capacity to cause just as much drama (Ahem, Mike the Situation. Wait, do Jersey Shore cast members count as real people??). My theory is that women cause drama because they are either very unhappy, they think too much or they are just insane – maybe a little bit of all three.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">For this particular subject I had the urge to reach out to my “It’s Up to Us Blog” female audience and find out how they feel about “unnecessary drama.” The survey was taken by 44 women ranging in ages 18-40 years old. Let’s see what they had to say…..</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">84.1% of female survey participants said that they have created unnecessary drama in a relationship with the opposite sex!!!</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqrjCUabg4eOjRzmOC4VkZVGLp4z9z9HWpNX0BcVwnIgn2qMq-zrv07_abEoUzzwurBu_c6A1NujE0cJnzeWMEvwf7j8S4ewbWv3UG6X3ezqr5N-GqYxR3gRiZiuAAmVzYTxjXbzoNhigY/s1600/fsdfdgs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqrjCUabg4eOjRzmOC4VkZVGLp4z9z9HWpNX0BcVwnIgn2qMq-zrv07_abEoUzzwurBu_c6A1NujE0cJnzeWMEvwf7j8S4ewbWv3UG6X3ezqr5N-GqYxR3gRiZiuAAmVzYTxjXbzoNhigY/s320/fsdfdgs.jpg" width="320" yda="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Jeez Louise, we’ve admitted to it! I can’t deny these percentages and I won’t. It’s apparent that women tend to stir up uncomfortable situations every now and then and we aren’t afraid to fess up to it. The question is, WHY?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">When asked if alcohol or any other substance has been involved during instances of unnecessary drama, 31.7% said Yes, 58.5% said No. </span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYZLcsoPldTKlCuZFMnjk3t9NVWBZa26s7Q8rtTV-qNBL2lWvWt0gzu7c7zuxwohrdhtH25wxXefZ6_J_gR7qhudyxP3kc5UFrSSgSk0KKqbYJfwNo-wa_ZY58RIEUkt5pDlBsK7GEfNIF/s1600/ddsadsd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYZLcsoPldTKlCuZFMnjk3t9NVWBZa26s7Q8rtTV-qNBL2lWvWt0gzu7c7zuxwohrdhtH25wxXefZ6_J_gR7qhudyxP3kc5UFrSSgSk0KKqbYJfwNo-wa_ZY58RIEUkt5pDlBsK7GEfNIF/s320/ddsadsd.jpg" width="320" yda="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I guess not all women out there turn into Snooki when they are drunk and "Jersey Turnpike" every inanimate object they come across… (“BUT GIANNII….”) Okay enough of the Jersey Shore references. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">~~~</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>When asked about the cause of the unnecessary drama I gave the following choices: PMS, needing attention, subconsciously unhappy with the relationship, a way of “testing” their partner. </strong></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Okay let’s face it. PMS happens <a href="http://0itsuptous0.blogspot.com/2011/07/pmsyes-were-talking-about-it.html">(Read This Blog Post for More on PMS)</a> and sometimes we get crabby. If a man wants to be with a woman that’s the price he has to pay. It’s much better than actually having to shed your uterine lining once a month and being bloated for 90 days out of the 365 a year. Suck it up! Half the time unnecessary drama ensues is because a man doesn’t know how to properly deal with a woman during PMS. Can I get an “amen?”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The option, “PMS” almost tied with the other possible choices. The fact is, sometimes people can be unhappy in a relationship and they don’t know how to express it, or they are hoping things will change for the better. Instead of expressing this unhappiness, it manifests in unnecessary drama. This is something that either sex can cause. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">As for “needing attention,” this may well be the #1 source of the epidemic of reality shows out there. People crave attention, then they cause a scene or do a bunch of idiotic things (i.e. sex tapes, showing your coo-ka to the papparazzi, getting married and divorced in 72 days) and they get the attention they are seeking– simple as that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Testing a partner is definitely another valid source of drama. We might make a comment or do something that makes another person uncomfortable just to see how they will react or to see if they are really “all in” the relationship. <strong><em>Just because we do it, doesn’t mean it's right.</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>When asked if their partners dealt with the unnecessary drama in a positive way it was split almost 50/50: 45% of the women said “Yes” and 55% said “No.”</strong> That’s encouraging because it seems that most guys want to run from the first sight of drama instead of actually figuring out the root of it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>My final question was, “What would you say, in your words, is the main reason women cause unnecessary drama?”</strong> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Here are some of my favorite responses:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“Someone women may come from a background where 'drama' is the norm and so they continue to recreate it in their relationships because that is what they know.”</em> This is such a good point. Maybe some of us just don’t know better and the only way we know how to communicate is to create dramatic situations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“I don’t think women cause drama, people do.”</em> High five!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“There’s always a hidden meaning behind the drama, whether is subconscious or conscious.”</em> <strong>If you take anything out of this post, take this quote!!!</strong> There is most likely always a reason for the drama we cause, or anyone causes. When things are going well in life we don’t usually stir things up. However, sometimes our problems come out in a way we don’t expect them to. The next time you feel that someone is “causing drama” with you, think about their motive and personal experience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“The cause of drama is insecurity with ones self or in past relationships.”</em> Ding, ding, ding!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“Guys don’t understand our drama the way our girlfriends do!”</em> There’s some major truth to this. I’ve had some gnarly dramatic arguments with some of my best girlfriends, but it’s made us closer in the end. Just as we dramatically screamed and yelled at each other, we hugged and cried and apologized in the same dramatic fashion. Maybe girls are just used to dealing with conflict this way, whereas guys tend to skip the apology and tears and take each other out for a beer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“Insecurities created by unreal expectations of what a relationship should be according to standards they see on TV or read in magazines.”</em> Wow. I have some smart readers. It is very true that women have certain expectations of how men should react and respond to us. I blame it on chick flicks. Damn you Ryan Gosling and The Notebook! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>“Because men don't understand how sensitive we are, and when we realize this lack of sensitivity we get upset, which is what they refer to as "drama.”</em> I have nothing else to add except a round of applause.</span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>"Unaware or not brave enough to communicate their true needs. We often use passive aggressive or aggressive comments that create drama instead of just being real and honest."</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I wish I could have listed all of the quotes on there because they are AMAZING! I want to thank all the women who took this survey because I couldn’t have done it without you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">So what do you think about “unnecessary drama?” </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em> COMMENTS APPRECIATED!!!!</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-5207476703854523162012-02-22T23:14:00.006-08:002012-04-15T18:48:05.574-07:00The Top 10 Relationships You’re Glad You’ve Never Been In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6FY7OQjYXSEk00wJ0vuz0_hElG4ieeC4c0oU23KVsk4DNB6AMCTFcdoz7bZ6cGTEMy2JOwZ8HFWcgBZMT2H0ZAnSLHOJq7cfa6A8vUo4Y9KL__IfJ_p1So53ZyKBpKOtvEBxONu3UlS2/s1600/stodden-hutch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"><u><b>#10 Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey </b></u></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">This couple was one of the first to start the trend where C/D-list celebrities broadcast their marriage that no one cares about in order to get people to care about them and make $$$. This trend = major entertainment for the American public. Without Jessica, how else would we have learned that “Chicken of the Sea” was actually Tuna fish? She literally saved my existence. Unfortunately after three long, devoted years of marriage the couple divorced and we got another D-list hit from Nick Lachey entitled, “I Can’t Hate You Anymore.” Yes, I have it on my Ipod. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>#9 Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf </b></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It started out as hatred and ended up in sex-love-hate-despise-love-hate and then “I can’t marry you because I made a pact with God so he could save your life.” Really, Gossip Girl? Okay don’t get me wrong, I DV-R this show every week and haven’t missed an episode but I just don’t get it, WHEN WILL THEY FINALLY GET TOGETHER? No human being on this earth has ever and will ever go through the amount of turmoil and drama that this couple has. Lucky for them, they are both extremely good looking, so we put up with it. Maybe next week Deroda will try to get Blair and Chuck together but Dan will stop them and propose to Blair, then Serena will get jealous and make out with Chuck. Then in a grand finale cliff hanger, Nate suddenly decides he’s in love with Serena agai. Sounds like a typical gossip girl episode to me!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSfAUtYavxz1sKkXyzbqQyJ0Zn3V_nhaEvNpthMddf2PT69zQUNsRB7QadxmwlT1WCrwdQUVysDgLK8cFCTq7XWZ4eWV30XT9cSYgp-l9HvZ1a9YsXaPipWlVAvy-SrEy4bYF64cSLRpfx/s1600/tom-cruise-and-katie-holmes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSfAUtYavxz1sKkXyzbqQyJ0Zn3V_nhaEvNpthMddf2PT69zQUNsRB7QadxmwlT1WCrwdQUVysDgLK8cFCTq7XWZ4eWV30XT9cSYgp-l9HvZ1a9YsXaPipWlVAvy-SrEy4bYF64cSLRpfx/s200/tom-cruise-and-katie-holmes.jpg" width="196" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">#8 Katie Holmes and Tom</span></b></u></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">Cruise </span></b></u><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I don’t wanna wait, for my liiiife to be over. Every time I would hear that Paula Cole theme song start up on Dawson’s Creek my heart soared because I knew it was another week of obsessing over how cute Katie Holmes was – emphasis on <i>was</i>. She was cute until she married Tom Cruise and now I don’t even know WHO SHE IS ANYMORE!!!! What happened to Joey, the innocent, crooked mouthed, overly eloquent teen who just wanted to paint? She married Mr. Scientology and had what I’m pretty sure is an Asian Baby named Suri. Why, Katie, Why?</span><span style="font-size: large;"> Need more on crazy Tom Cruise?<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_98265281"> Click Here. </a></span> </div><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7q5HtYELGC3_aMkAN8cAS2UnwO6aD_6DUHVhRsJqHSyudp8W6jgxdelBY72UwcejvvgdMXIE4xZB6RRoCu7abZaZdFrzB6XJneAPjIYdhSCdYIvDnXzmVopQfui0vsxC4-79Fpjj8dDoD/s1600/Michael-Lohan-and-Kate-Major.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7q5HtYELGC3_aMkAN8cAS2UnwO6aD_6DUHVhRsJqHSyudp8W6jgxdelBY72UwcejvvgdMXIE4xZB6RRoCu7abZaZdFrzB6XJneAPjIYdhSCdYIvDnXzmVopQfui0vsxC4-79Fpjj8dDoD/s200/Michael-Lohan-and-Kate-Major.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><u><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;">#7 Michael Lohan and Kate Major</span></b></u> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Did anyone watch the last season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew? If you have, you’ll know why this couple is on this list. What do you get when you put two crazy people in a relationship? Shenanigans. What do you get when you put two crazy people addicted to drugs/alcohol in a relationship? Pure INSANITY. I have never seen a man so torn up over a woman in my life. Kate told Michael at one point, “I’m not even attracted to you! You’re old, you’re ugly and you’re bald!” Oh yeah, and that’s saying a lot because her former boyfriend was Jon Gosselin (see #5). If you ask me, they both need to lay off the drugs....and based on that picture stay out of the sun for a very long time. </span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk-Kk94fAMwTj1uaaMFNECAiDzuB4WPrz8XbW-oztSfwI4F2Y5eraixgGgBDENUEhVa4CURKhE5lpNtbYyAu8nXCI3RGQrxemUD6S8_Yc0vZx8c0VjLRx3f0KavEajfprbTiVOigYTm-0B/s1600/taylor_swift_taylor_lautner_kissing_movie_scene_300x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk-Kk94fAMwTj1uaaMFNECAiDzuB4WPrz8XbW-oztSfwI4F2Y5eraixgGgBDENUEhVa4CURKhE5lpNtbYyAu8nXCI3RGQrxemUD6S8_Yc0vZx8c0VjLRx3f0KavEajfprbTiVOigYTm-0B/s200/taylor_swift_taylor_lautner_kissing_movie_scene_300x400.jpg" width="150" /></a></span></td></tr>
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</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>#6 Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner…and John Mayer…and Jake Gyllenhaal</b></u></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For such a wholesome little country girl, this chick has been around. I believe it started with Joe Jonas but I’m not sure where the lineup goes from there. I DO know, however, that she dated Taylor Lautner of <i>Twilight</i> fame and they absolutely murdered the portrayal of their relationship in the movie <i>Valentine’s Day</i>. I also have no idea how she didn’t get her emotions murdered by John Mayer because that guy is a douche, or maybe as her song suggests he’s just, “Mean?” Finally, I pretty much wanted to murder her with my bare hands when she took take Jake Gyllenhaal from me. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIbXYY6oYCbGX0hd2au6MpOWW2q58_tNY1H3KIW00iNoEIhWQINJEqTIKobok2OjQqn2HAgXPfHtCQwqkdEKa-YfC2BqPdnlFCpKTRczj3OtPwzUZzWq0DuK3fdfdSrnAMNvZuSwZwDjAn/s1600/britney-spears-kevin-federline-dog-bitfit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" lda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIbXYY6oYCbGX0hd2au6MpOWW2q58_tNY1H3KIW00iNoEIhWQINJEqTIKobok2OjQqn2HAgXPfHtCQwqkdEKa-YfC2BqPdnlFCpKTRczj3OtPwzUZzWq0DuK3fdfdSrnAMNvZuSwZwDjAn/s320/britney-spears-kevin-federline-dog-bitfit.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Keepin' It Classy</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <b><u><span style="font-size: large;">#6 Britney Spears and Kevin Federline</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Following in the footsteps of Jessica and Nick, K-Fed and Spears tried to do the reality show idea and it failed miserably. Perhaps K-Fed’s hot body and excellent rapping skills weren’t able to compete with Nick Lachey’s boy band dancing skills. Either way, this marriage failed and they got two whole kids out of it! The rumor is that Britney paid for her own wedding ring, isn’t that just so darn sweet? To top it off, instead of going to Brazil on their honeymoon as planned, they spent it at “Baton Rouge’s Mall of Louisiana.” There’s nothing trailer trash about that at all. Lucky for us, Britney is still going strong with nasally #1 hits and K-Fed is nowhere to be seen after they cancelled his tour because no one bought tickets. Sorry, buddy. </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiU3XMvHvWm3e81OsGD7YLn5YeaQufJ6wb4xDE1sCynhGPXjqa8fAGVumo1ErjrDe59tMfL0N-X5rIsQFKtUwH1UEyP-QEuIGO9_NeIXfBKfjbG2JdaCBb3xJmJaLKUPEn6X2QI1PX98KY/s1600/kate-gosselin-sld.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" lda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiU3XMvHvWm3e81OsGD7YLn5YeaQufJ6wb4xDE1sCynhGPXjqa8fAGVumo1ErjrDe59tMfL0N-X5rIsQFKtUwH1UEyP-QEuIGO9_NeIXfBKfjbG2JdaCBb3xJmJaLKUPEn6X2QI1PX98KY/s320/kate-gosselin-sld.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"> <u><b>#5 Jon and Kate Gosselin</b></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;">One day TLC said to Kate Gosselin, “You’re pregnant with 6 kids because you injected so many hormones in you that you look like a hot air balloon with an 8 year old boy’s hair cut? Let’s give you a TV show!” No one, and I mean NO ONE wanted to see that video clip of how big her belly was when she was carrying the sextuplets. I literally used to fast forward that portion of the intro every time because it made me gag. On that note, we also really didn’t want to witness Kate constantly ordering Jon around like he was one of the eight. That relationship was a train wreck from the beginning. It really should have been called, “Kate plus 8 and a man boy with no balls.”</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">#4 Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries</span></b></u><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSoy0ysUt6K4nngUZuUrjkcd_vFr1QwjbZAcWPUKIpwGy2lUZw32MgF2MjJjmf9CVnj9_s8Ur7Zm-ERtRTEXtBzMPTr9HxmBtdBcgfOG6SLBUjSyCBLlJNmBXCCHY2wK6ceg2PZC0cV673/s1600/Kim-Kardashian-Kris-Humphries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" lda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSoy0ysUt6K4nngUZuUrjkcd_vFr1QwjbZAcWPUKIpwGy2lUZw32MgF2MjJjmf9CVnj9_s8Ur7Zm-ERtRTEXtBzMPTr9HxmBtdBcgfOG6SLBUjSyCBLlJNmBXCCHY2wK6ceg2PZC0cV673/s320/Kim-Kardashian-Kris-Humphries.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Poor guy…. No, really….Poor guy. I think we need to take a moment of silence to mourn the butchering of Kris </span><span style="font-size: large;">Humphries by the Kardashian clan. He may have the brain capacity similar to an 7 year old child but he didn’t deserve to be ridiculed the way he was. Everyone has their theories on whether this relationship was a hoax or not. I personally don’t care. Let this be a lesson to any athlete who gets lured in by the eyelash extensions and butt implants also known as the Kardashian sisters. R.I.P. Kris Humphries.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">P.S. I'm still watching all the shows, Khloe and Lamar are cute :) </span></div></div></div><br />
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</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBh6rQ2S0-bWk_EL1hMHHyBaAlR2w5l5Sg7got7O4HUo5Y6nF-w_9W2VP9md5i3kjtidBSzLEpaQfw5dBoddcOxoDFBXadahNZS5ZacFyH0SP05m6Ba8zkGeQpRqKR3TZC4yDKshxkoPgj/s1600/sammi-ronnie-goodbye_518x294.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBh6rQ2S0-bWk_EL1hMHHyBaAlR2w5l5Sg7got7O4HUo5Y6nF-w_9W2VP9md5i3kjtidBSzLEpaQfw5dBoddcOxoDFBXadahNZS5ZacFyH0SP05m6Ba8zkGeQpRqKR3TZC4yDKshxkoPgj/s320/sammi-ronnie-goodbye_518x294.jpg" width="320" /></a><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">#3 Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Sammy Giancola</span></b></u></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Also known as “Sammie” and “RAHHNNN” by many of those who have seen them fight. Let’s face it, what would the first three seasons of The Jersey Shore be without them? They are best worst fighting couple ever. My favorite fight is when they went to Karma and they got drunk and then Sammi got mad and they fought all night. My other favorite is when they went to Karma and they got drunk and Sammi got mad….Oh – wait. What can I say? Love is battlefield. I also wanna say, “RAHN, STAP…I’m DUHN…STAP.” </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You almost forgot about them didn’t you? This fabulous little couple made themselves famous in a big way by being completely idiotic, just a little bit more than your usual stupid celebrity. I’ll never forget the cinematic treasure of a music video Spencer made of Heidi’s song, “Higher.” <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS7HgBU_jPI">(Watch Here) </a>It was like a nightmarish auto-tuned porno with no sex. Another favorite was their very brief appearance on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” in which Spencer decided he was a born again Christian. That was the only season of that show I watched. I love you Speidi. I hope all the money you spent on Spencer’s crystals and Heidi’s Barbie breasts (and butt) was worth it. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6FY7OQjYXSEk00wJ0vuz0_hElG4ieeC4c0oU23KVsk4DNB6AMCTFcdoz7bZ6cGTEMy2JOwZ8HFWcgBZMT2H0ZAnSLHOJq7cfa6A8vUo4Y9KL__IfJ_p1So53ZyKBpKOtvEBxONu3UlS2/s1600/stodden-hutch.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6FY7OQjYXSEk00wJ0vuz0_hElG4ieeC4c0oU23KVsk4DNB6AMCTFcdoz7bZ6cGTEMy2JOwZ8HFWcgBZMT2H0ZAnSLHOJq7cfa6A8vUo4Y9KL__IfJ_p1So53ZyKBpKOtvEBxONu3UlS2/s320/stodden-hutch.jpg" width="320" /></a><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">#1 Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson</span></b></u></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Apparently once you make a microscopic appearance on a hit show like “Lost” you lose all of your decency and the ability to attract women your own age. This couple is absolutely the worst couple in America. I don’t even need to write anything under this headline for you to understand how disgusting they are – all you need to do is Google it. She’s 16 and he’s 51 and she spends her days tweeting about how her appetite becomes, “anxiously aroused as I vivaciously cook a very sexy veggie supper while wearing Victoria’s Secret.” She was a naturally pretty teenager and after extensive plastic surgery and spending 24 hours straight in a tanning salon, she is unrecognizable. I’m pretty sure people are going to make Halloween masks of her face this year. I swear to God if I have to look at another picture of her with pouty fish lips and seizure eyes I am going to shoot someone. </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So tell me, Who's your favorite? And feel free to add to the list! Thanks Everyone!</b></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-8389819984706514522012-02-06T09:59:00.000-08:002012-02-10T14:37:51.011-08:00Opinions on Valentine's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtyAT5y12xS6qDAUk8YV8m__qeckG7gMxAzoW7XY32RHdmodpwCFm7rFfiqewXQcuovMjPnTtBtx_TdEcqyS53RitjuI-oHjQCZzXolW6XXY9WZDBD3Dmqa-P1NfbA77yoB_xy4rhgEVgA/s1600/98171915_b07b308a32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtyAT5y12xS6qDAUk8YV8m__qeckG7gMxAzoW7XY32RHdmodpwCFm7rFfiqewXQcuovMjPnTtBtx_TdEcqyS53RitjuI-oHjQCZzXolW6XXY9WZDBD3Dmqa-P1NfbA77yoB_xy4rhgEVgA/s320/98171915_b07b308a32.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I’m sure many of you are aware (or attempting to forget) that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Since my blog is about love, relationships, men and women etc. I felt the need to write a little ditty on this quite controversial holiday. Last year, I wrote about Blue Valentine, the awesome movie with my man Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. </span><a href="http://0itsuptous0.blogspot.com/search/label/blue%20valentine"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(Check it out here!) </span></a></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The following opinions are based on my conversations with people and my own personal experience. I’d love to hear what other opinions are out there! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><u>Single People Say They Hate Valentine’s Day Just Because They Are Single</u></strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">When I heard someone say this, I was single – and I got quite offended. I was quite positive that my hatred for Valentine's Day was based on the frivolity of the holiday and my feminist desire to be independent. I even convinced myself I hated flowers because they ended up dying anyway. However, after the first time I fell in love things changed. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I think this statement might be true, at least in my case. I’ve had an ambivalent relationship with this holiday. I’ve hated it, and I’ve loved and I’ve exploited it – but I’m pretty sure that my hatred for it really just stemmed from not having anyone to celebrate with! I can’t believe I’m admitting this! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It comes down to this – if you’re going to hate Valentine’s Day, hate it when you’re single and in a relationship. Don’t jump the “hate” bandwagon just because love wasn’t good to you this past year. Instead, take the day to spend it with someone you love, it doesn’t have to be in a romantic way. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><u><strong>It’s A Females Holiday</strong></u></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Maybe we should just change the name of Valentine’s Day to “Women’s Appreciation Day.” Let’s face it, it’s a holiday that women seem to care more about than men. I don’t think its completely our fault either – everything about the advertising for this holiday is geared towards women. We are bombarded with female oriented colors (PINK!!!), ads for jewelry and flowers, and commercials with half naked Victoria Secret models telling us to “show me you love me” by buying lingerie. No wonder women get so crazy about this holiday! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I’m not trying to blame society. Okay maybe I am. Either way, it wouldn’t hurt men to buy us some beautiful flowers once a year. It’s the least they can do because we give birth and menstruate once a month and we are still considered minorities. So suck it up and buy us something pretty! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">While men may need to suck it up, women also need to step up to the plate. Valentine's Day shouldn't be a one sided affair where all the pressure is put on men to think of something extremely romantic and take their partner's breath away. Why is it up to a man to amaze a women with his romantic gestures? Females can also be romantic and show their appreciation for their partner. They can...and they SHOULD. If you plan on celebrating the holiday, honor it by showing someone you care and not expecting them to do all the work. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Note: This is why most men hate V-day. Females who expect alot and don't give in return. Give, and you shall receive! </span><br />
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</span><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><u>It’s a Greeting Card Holiday</u></strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Valentine’s Day is 100%, without question, a greeting card holiday. Unfortunately, like most holidays in the U.S., it originated as something completely different than what it is today. The origin isn’t even completely decided on</span><a href="http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> (Read About it! Click Here).</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> We know it is based on St. Valentine and the actual date was declared in the Middle Ages. What troubles me is that it started out with people writing hand written notes and exchanging small gifts to show each other they care and now it’s been exploited by commercialism and greed. What else is new? Consider St. Patricks Day: it started as an Irish holiday and now it’s an excuse for bars to charge a $20 cover just so people can get in and wear green beads and spend extra money getting drunk on green beer. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">If Valentine’s Day is a greeting card holiday then St. Patrick’s Day is a bar holiday and Christmas is a department store holiday and Halloween is a random-costume-store-that-only- opens-up-once-a-year holiday. Let’s face it, ALL of our holidays are exploited. Why do we hate V-Day but still go out and spend money for all the other holidays? </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><u>It Was Fun in Elementary School</u></strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I LOVED Valentine’s Day in Elementary School. Everyone was required to give every single person in the class a Valentine so no one was left out. Plus, we got to spend almost an entire day doing fun activities and having a party with cupcakes and candy! What kid wouldn’t love that? I remember spending an hour in Target trying to figure out which Valentine cards to get: Star Wars themed or Polly Pocket? I was a gender conflict child. If only Valentine’s Day was as fun as it was in elementary school. Sigh. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><u>Valentine’s Day Can Be Fun Whether You’re Single or In A Relationship</u></strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I respect everyone’s decision on this holiday, whether you hate it, love it or just don’t care. Just know that you can have fun with it no matter what your status is. Don’t let society make you feel bad because you don’t have a Valentine this year. Instead, get your fellow singles together and go out! It’s about love so find someone you love and tell them how you feel. Hey you might even get lucky and find a bar to go to where there is a raffle for a free breast augmentation in honor of St. Valentine . Yes, there’s a story behind that (and it's a good one), but my lips are sealed. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"></span>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227654473792314915.post-64634616168142882042012-01-23T11:31:00.000-08:002012-01-23T11:31:22.181-08:00Can We Really "Have It All?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCdDNzxI5Su2f-Hdqi8ke1LyCl7b-Sx5Js9Gdcz7hLgJK1_Zde-I9xjLCbm3ZjUNJT1JI56qbuAEillHuH2n-1vLPiELwU7EPJ9URQ8RzGEoC7ZUoJIrt4M8Ka7G3kiGoBHTxkYu7d-t3h/s1600/imagesCADLBB91.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nfa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCdDNzxI5Su2f-Hdqi8ke1LyCl7b-Sx5Js9Gdcz7hLgJK1_Zde-I9xjLCbm3ZjUNJT1JI56qbuAEillHuH2n-1vLPiELwU7EPJ9URQ8RzGEoC7ZUoJIrt4M8Ka7G3kiGoBHTxkYu7d-t3h/s1600/imagesCADLBB91.jpg" /></a></div><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>In our current post-modern, (kind of) pro-female society, it is quite acceptable for a female to pursue the whole package: marriage, family, a successful career and an active social life. With that also comes the expectation that we should maintain a fit, healthy body, youthful skin, and an updated wardrobe. I mean, just because we get 4 hours of sleep a night and have to work 10 times as hard to get that promotion, doesn’t mean we should get lazy and skip the gym, right? No ladies, get your ass into that Zumba class, I don’t care if your eyelids are drooping with fatigue and your legs feels like they are going to collapse under you. You need that tight butt and killer abs because how else are you going to land a husband? I would also recommend spending hundreds of your hard earned money on facial products and cosmetics that make you look young and feminine at all times. Are we all clear? </strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>What I REALLY would like to know is this: Does the world (i.e. men, employers, marketing executives) realize how hard it is to truly “have it all?” In my opinion it’s not just hard, it’s impossible.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>As a way to gain research experience I worked as an assistant to doctoral candidates on a study about “Work Life Balance” for women. This study not only helped me comprehend how many successful women exist in this world but also how absolutely difficult it is to balance all the endeavors women strive towards. It also made me realize how much pressure women face to manage everything that is expected of us! We are encouraged and expected to go to college and get a job; but we should also get married, have babies and still look good after it’s all said and done. I’m sorry, but just thinking about this makes me anxious. No wonder women have a higher rate of anxiety and depression in this country.</strong></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqoi_ij0SJsT_GSWjLA3J6t1rj3JZ6NGEz0aRbYA1LWPTB2iLSfKUpgSHwvgB0jgpqbSgooRTagAvBWBd39O57CMqvzx9Ov25AFm5kNeCbZxOGKScvWig6pZbDiViP_ul6da5MbokQTHdy/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong><img border="0" height="320" nfa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqoi_ij0SJsT_GSWjLA3J6t1rj3JZ6NGEz0aRbYA1LWPTB2iLSfKUpgSHwvgB0jgpqbSgooRTagAvBWBd39O57CMqvzx9Ov25AFm5kNeCbZxOGKScvWig6pZbDiViP_ul6da5MbokQTHdy/s320/untitled.bmp" width="320" /></strong></span></a></div><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>I recently watched the movie “The Iron Lady” with Meryl Streep (GO SEE IT!) about Margaret Thatcher’s career and life. Not only was it an incredibly well crafted film, but it also provoked my thoughts regarding women all over the world who want to be “game changers” and hold positions of power. Margaret was an amazing woman who accomplished such a great deal. It’s almost more inspiration than I can handle. However, the film also shows how her family suffered as a result of her high career aspirations. Her children were frustrated with her single mindedness and her husband was basically her support system. She wasn’t fully 100% a mother, prime minister and wife. So is that how it always has to be? If a woman wants to be president and she has young children would her husband have to fill some of the lacking caretaker role in her absence? Can a woman be 100% of everything in life or is that just too much?</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>I get it – no one’s perfect and nothing can ever be done without blemish. I guess my point of this blog post is to find out what other women feel and think about pursuing a career and wanting a family while also maintaining the “trivial” things like appearance and social life. All of these aspects are important, but how on earth are we supposed to balance them all without causing ourselves extreme anxiety? I’d love to hear your thoughts! </strong></span><br />
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</div>FemmeDeBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13599389631858820716noreply@blogger.com0