Jealousy – You can have all the connection and chemistry you want, but if one of the people in the relationship has jealousy issues, things will never work. Respect your partners time and understand that you both need space to do things with out each other. Being jealous when your partner spends time with friends or does activities without you will just cause conflict and put strain on the relationship.All jealousy does is allows the another person to have power over your feelings. Usually the reasons for feeling jealous are made up inside your head anyway, so what's the point?
Unresolved Personal Issues/Baggage When you have personal issues or unresolved trauma in your life, it’s going to translate into your relationships. It’s important to face those issues and identify your triggers so you don’t take it out on the other person. Save the conflict for the REAL issues.
Lack of Trust – This is a no-brainer. If you can’t trust the other person you will constantly be second guessing their actions towards you and it will drive you insane. You have to be open to the idea of fully trusting your partner and allow that person to reinforce that trust with their behavior. If they don’t reinforce, then they aren’t worth trusting!
Communication Issues – This refers to miscommunication, OVER-communication and under-communication. Yes, you can over-communicate. If you are constantly attached to your phone, texting your significant other with every move you make (“Hey baby! I’m going to the bathroom now....and now I'm taking a shower...Ok just got out of the shower..etc. etc. etc") then you have a major problem. You need to be able to take space and not talk about everything during every minute of the day. Mystery can be a good thing. If there are miscommunications, work to find ways to communicate that make sense to both of you. Ask for what you need when it comes to communication, because that is the only way you'll get it!
Dishonesty - Be honest. And not just when a question is
asked of you. Be forthright with information about yourself
asked of you. Be forthright with information about yourself
and who you are. Don't be shady!
Moving Too Fast – Slow and steady wins the race! There is no rush to make things “official” or “lock it down” or “DTR” aka “Define the relationship” (anyone watch “Awkward” on MTV?) after a couple dates. Using the L word right away isn’t necessary. Let things flow and be and when the time is right, the conversation will come. If it doesn’t then maybe things aren’t right.
Focus too much on the future…or too much on the past – Learning to be in the present…in "the now” is a hard thing to do for most people but it’s the key to staying healthy in your personal life and in your relationships. If you are constantly worrying about the future of your relationship you won’t be able to enjoy what you have in the present. If you are constantly dwelling on your past, or past mistakes and arguments then you are wasting time because you can’t change it. You can only move forward and take it one day at a time.
Trying to change your partner – Get to know the person you are dating and figure out if you can accept them exactly the way they are – the positive and the negative. Constantly trying to change someone can make them resent you and eventually cause the end of a relationship. If there are deal-breakers in their personality that you just can’t handle then don’t try to change them, accept it and move on.
Manipulation - Being passive-aggressive instead of just outright communicating can ruin a relationship. Be open, honest and don’t play games. In games there is a “winner” and a “loser” and relationships aren’t competitions.
Insecurity - When one or both of the individuals in a relationship are insecure it can cause a great deal of conflict. Insecurity can lead to jealousy and dependence issues on one or both sides.
Any others anyone would like to add? Feel free to share your thoughts!
