Pet Peeves About Men: What Females Have To Say.

Awhile ago I surveyed some female friends and random individuals about common “pet peeves” about men.

I wanted to list a couple of these anonymously and see what the rest of the women out there think – and then hear from the men in response. Some are pretty funny! I added some of my own thoughts in parentheses.

             Check it out:

1)      “I hate it when men adjust their freaking crotch a million times and try to act like you don’t notice.” (note: if you need to switch to boxers men, please do it because we don’t want to see it.

2)      They tell you they will call you and then you never hear from them again. They can end a date with: "I had a good time," not "I had a good time, I'll call you!" (Yeah you know what don’t say you’ll call if you aren’t planning on it. That Goes for BOTH sexes in dating!)

3)      Momma’s Boys. (Momma’s boys are just looking for a female to take their mother’s place…and I think people will agree with me when I say, EW)

4)      When Men think women aren't smart enough to figure out their bullsh**. 

5)      When Men try to fix everything.

6)      Emotionally constipated men. (I think they should make a Metamucil for emotional issues)

7)      That they just don't get it - you have to over-explain things to them sometimes. (I’m sorry but I don’t think this will ever change.)

8)      When they won't just share their feelings. (How hard is it, really?)

9)      When they don't consider not giving the whole truth as another form of lying.

10)   Maybe the fact that they breathe. (ha ha ha, this one was my favorite)

11)   Being a bad text messager. (I know many people in general who are guilty of this!)

12)   When they mess up or lead you on and then avoid you because of their mistake. (AMEN!)

13)   How much time I spend to get ready for a date and then he shows up with shorts t-shirt and flip flops. (Yea, thanks guys.)

14)   Staring. Some men will just stare and it makes you feel so uncomfortable because you what they're thinking about. (My favorite is the gawking idiots in cars next to you and the light stays red for what seems like hours.)

15)   When a man is insecure when dating a beautiful/successful woman.

16)   Guys at the gym who have more muscles than personality.

17)   When a guy has no sense of humor...when he dishes it out but can't take it if a girl dishes it back to him.

18)   Men who wear unbuttoned shirts with their chest hair showing.

19)   When a man asks for a kiss. JUST KISS US ALREADY, if you have to ask then you don’t deserve a kiss.

20)   When they say they’re just teasing, but you know they mean it.

There you go ladies in gentleman, hope you enjoyed reading. And thanks to all the women who contributed! Feel free to comment on what you think :)

Pet Peeves About Men: What Females Have To Say.

And Women Are Apparently Like Waves....

Part two. John Gray, author of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” says:

“A woman is like a wave. When she feels loved her self-esteem rises and falls in a wave motion. When she is feeling really good, she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change and her wave crashes down.”

In short, a woman’s ability to give love to her partner is relative to the amount of self-esteem she has. A woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationship is generally a reflection of how she is feeling about herself. Okay Mr. Gray, if you explain women this way, no wonder guys want to run the hell away!

I will admit, this is true to an extent. Self-esteem plays a big part in how well a woman can function in a relationship. Based on the social expectations we (women) have to live up to, can you blame some of us for having self-esteem issues? Most women are very emotional individuals and this is manifested in different ways - not necessarily by crying, moodiness, neediness or withdrawal.  But that is not ALL WE ARE. We also need emotional and physical space in relationships. We may be somewhat like waves, but many of us are also rubber bands.

We need space just as much as men do, however it’s not something we always give ourselves. I can attest to the fact that I’ve been in relationships where I am super excited and want to spend every moment with that person and I ignore the fact that I really need some time away – but when I finally take that time it’s like a breath of fresh air. To be honest, I think it may help a woman to realize she is not just an emotional being but a person who needs autonomy and individual time for herself.

I posted a quote on the It's Up To Us! Facebook site a week ago:

“Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.”

I would like to rephrase this:

“Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset AND free. Men want space while women want and need understanding AND space.”

Woman are dynamic beings and we aren’t one-dimensional so you can’t put us in a box. So call me a wave, a rubber band, a piece of meat, a “bitch,” or sugar and spice and everything nice. Who knows – I may be ALL of that and a bag of chips. 

And Women Are Apparently Like Waves....

Men are like...Rubber Bands?

I’m sure many of you have heard of the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by John Gray. If you haven’t heard of the book, you’ve probably heard the phrase. I recently started reading it after finding it at a thrift store and I figured I had nothing to lose for 25 cents.

He has this theory entitled, “Men are like rubber bands.” The idea behind this is that men pull away in relationships and can only stretch to a certain degree before springing back. He says that the intimacy cycle of men is that they get close, pull away and then get close again and this it is necessary for men to first pull away in order to be close again.

I’m interested to hear what other people have to say about this theory, (especially male readers!). I thought the chapter had some valid points but there were also some things I questioned. Biologically I understand the whole intimacy cycle and how it works with a man sexually. But does this apply emotionally also?

Women generally pull away for different reasons than men which is why women misunderstand them. I think this can definitely be a true statement. I think women sometimes pull away because they are hurt, trying to guard themselves or they are trying to manipulate the situation. Men are completely capable of doing the same thing but I think there are times when they recognize they just need space – which is something women can learn a lot from. Autonomy is a GOOD thing. Taking space from the relationship is healthy. It is great to connect with someone but losing yourself should not be part of it.

I do feel, however, that the idea of men being rubber bands can be interpreted in a very unhealthy way if one is not careful. The rubber band theory does not apply to men who are treating women poorly or manipulating them. This theory is not about being co-dependent and completely losing yourself so that you can be on his emotional time-table. Plus, how do you even determine that this is normal and the guy doesn’t just have emotional constipation?

All I know is that I think the idea of the man as a rubber band is valid – but it needs to be approached with caution. Next chapter in the book is entitled, “Women are like waves,” and boy am I excited! So be prepared for another fun-filled post. For now…tell me what you think!

Men are like...Rubber Bands?