It's up to US, to know ourselves and to attempt to establish healthy relationships. This blog is about all sexes and genders, how we think and what we think. It is a blog about "maybe's" and "what if's". It is a conversation about media awareness, diversity, inclusion, relationships, sex, love and everything in between.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Why We Need More Women Like Mindy Kaling In The World.

If you are a fellow lover of the TV show, "The Office" (preferably pre-Michael Scott) then you know Mindy Kaling as the actress who plays Kelly Kapour, a celebrity-obsessed young woman with a high pitched voice and a hankering for dysfunctional relationships. What you may not know is that Mindy is an AMAZING writer. She has written some of the most brilliantly funny "Office" episodes and a hilarious book called, "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?" which you should read if you haven't yet. 

So after reading Mindy's book I've decided that she's a genius and she knows WHAT'S UP in the world of relationships, very unlike the character she played on "The Office." Here are a couple highlights....

MEN VS.  BOYS Per Mindy Kaling:
"Men...make concrete plans. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men tip generously. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before." 

This hilarious rant is then preceded with her explanation that this may not be completely accurate and that she devised this definition by combining a range of characters from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to her father. 

So what are boys? "Boys are adorable. Boys trail out their sentences in an appealing way. Boys bring a knapsack to work. Boys get a hair cut from their roommate. Boys can pack up their whole life duffle bag and move to Brooklyn if they need to. Boys have 'gigs.' Boys are broke, and when they do have money they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival. Boys don't know how to adjust their conversation when they are talking to their friends or to your parents. Boys let your parents pay for dinner when you all go out, it's assumed."

She goes on to say that boys can be fun, they make you homemade gifts, talk for hours with you at a diner at 3am because they don't have regular jobs - but they suck to date when you turn 30. 


Mindy Kaling on Marriage: 
"C'mon married people - I don't wanna hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you watch every episode of 'The Bachelor' together in secret shame. Or that one of you got hooked to 'Breaking Bad,' and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it, because I want to know that it's possible for myself." 

I love what Mindy has to say about marriage because it's hopeful and honest. We hear a lot about marriage being "hard work" and less of a focus on what makes a marriage or long-term relationships WORK. Why not give your significant other a high-five because you both had a successful day, and the kids are safely in bed? Then put on that newest episode of Breaking Bad and sit down in front of the TV with some ice cream. I do that by myself (minus the kids) so why stop when in a relationship! 

"I guess I think happiness can come in a bunch of forms, and maybe marriage with tons of work makes people happy. But a part of me still thinks - Is it really so hard to make it work? What happened to being pals?" 

Given Mindy's opinion on marriage, what's your opinion on the definition of "happily ever after" in a committed relationship? Do you think a relationship has to be "work?"

I'd like to hear your opinions! and if you haven't read this book yet, READ IT PEOPLE!!!

Also be sure to check out Mindy's show this fall on Fox, "The Mindy Project." Click here for more details. 


Mindy As Kelly Kapour. How can you not love her?


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