For the readers who know me, I'm sure you'll understand my choice of image for this post :)
Let's get started !
Anger. It's an emotion everyone who breathes experiences at some point in there life, probably at a fairly early age.When thinking of emotions, we tend to categorize them as "good" and "bad." Good emotions being happiness, excitement, or eagerness and bad emotions being sadness, fear or hatred. Anger would hands-down be considered a "bad" emotion by most individuals. But does it have to be? And who says we even have to categorize our emotions the way we do? It is my opinion that ALL emotions are necessary and important for human development and growth. From an evolutionary perspective, anger is used for protective purposes. We have been given the ability to feel anger to protect ourselves from danger or self-threat. Anger is a necessary and normal human emotion that can be used in a positive way if one just deals with it productively, rather than destructively.
Anger and Women:
As you're reading this, female readers, think about how you feel about expressing your anger. Historically, women were not encouraged to express anger for fear of comprising their "ladylike" demeanor. Stereotypically women are supposed to be the ones who subdue anger and react calmly and rationally to situations. Although society’s evolved a bit, I don't think things have changed too much. If anything, the emergence of feminism may have influenced women to go a little over board with expressions of anger.
When a woman expresses anger in even a slightly aggressive way, she is still taking the risk of being called a "bitch." Better yet, someone may ask her if she's “PMS-ing.” Fear of being stereotyped or criticized for expressing anger/frustration can cause a woman to bottle up emotions instead of expressing them in healthy ways, which leads to NOTHING positive.
Anger and Men:
Just as we categorize "good" and "bad" emotions, it seems that we do the same according to "masculine" and "feminine." It is socially acceptable to consider anger a masculine trait (speak out if you don't agree). It often seems that displays of anger are more widely accepted in men than women, at least in our society. This does not include anger expressed in illegal ways, which is a whole other topic. The point is, anger is considered to be a more aggressive, masculine trait.
Anger and Self-Esteem
Having low-self esteem makes a person more likely to be easily provoked and to express anger in unstable ways. When people with low self-esteem are angered they tend to take people’s innocent acts and words as personal violations. Everything is personal and even little comments can offend. They also lack the ability to stand up for themselves, so instead of speaking out about their feelings, they bottle them up. We all know where that eventually leads….an EXPLOSION of emotions that ends up hurting people and destroying relationships.
Studies show that rather than suppressing anger or expressing it negatively, people with high self-esteem tend to approach their anger in a problem solving way, either with a confidante, or with the person who provoked it, or both. Instead of letting emotions guide, people with high self-esteem work to find the source of their anger and combat it in a productive manner.
Anger: Men and Women
I regret to admit that self-esteem seems to plague the female population more than the males; however, it’s an unfortunate aspect of all people’s lives. I would like to encourage both men and women to shatter the stereotypes I’ve discussed and treat everyone equally and regard all people’s feelings as valid, whether they are female or a male.
Dealing with Anger
I’m sure many of you are familiar with the term, “venting.” It’s a common term that the dictionary describes as a “release of strong feelings.” I recently read a study about venting, and how there are positive and negative ways to vent (as you can see, our society loves to categorize.)
Researchers from the University of Tennessee had a sample size of women fill out questionnaires about anger and found that the most counterproductive were “yelling, screaming and lashing out.” This type of venting not only influences the “bitch” stereotype but it disrupts a person’s physical demeanor and ultimately makes anger worse.
Another very unhealthy way to deal with anger is rumination. It’s the idea of continually thinking a thought or dwelling on one’s anger over and over again. Rumination is a word that comes from cows. It means to regurgitate partially digested food and chew it again. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR THOUGHTS? I think NOT!
So productive ways to deal with anger, according to the article and myself?1. Problem Solve – find out the source, and find out what can resolve this anger.
2. Participate in a physical or mental activity that calms you and stops you from over-thinking.
Examples: exercise, meditation, video games, talking with friends whatever it takes!
3. Discuss angry feelings, with yourself and if possible, the person the anger may be directed towards.
4. Use creative outlets: writing, journaling, drawing, music. Creativity feeds the soul!
Thanks everyone! Comments appreciated!
*If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb*
Anger and Women:
As you're reading this, female readers, think about how you feel about expressing your anger. Historically, women were not encouraged to express anger for fear of comprising their "ladylike" demeanor. Stereotypically women are supposed to be the ones who subdue anger and react calmly and rationally to situations. Although society’s evolved a bit, I don't think things have changed too much. If anything, the emergence of feminism may have influenced women to go a little over board with expressions of anger.
When a woman expresses anger in even a slightly aggressive way, she is still taking the risk of being called a "bitch." Better yet, someone may ask her if she's “PMS-ing.” Fear of being stereotyped or criticized for expressing anger/frustration can cause a woman to bottle up emotions instead of expressing them in healthy ways, which leads to NOTHING positive.
Anger and Men:
Just as we categorize "good" and "bad" emotions, it seems that we do the same according to "masculine" and "feminine." It is socially acceptable to consider anger a masculine trait (speak out if you don't agree). It often seems that displays of anger are more widely accepted in men than women, at least in our society. This does not include anger expressed in illegal ways, which is a whole other topic. The point is, anger is considered to be a more aggressive, masculine trait.
Anger and Self-Esteem
Having low-self esteem makes a person more likely to be easily provoked and to express anger in unstable ways. When people with low self-esteem are angered they tend to take people’s innocent acts and words as personal violations. Everything is personal and even little comments can offend. They also lack the ability to stand up for themselves, so instead of speaking out about their feelings, they bottle them up. We all know where that eventually leads….an EXPLOSION of emotions that ends up hurting people and destroying relationships.
Studies show that rather than suppressing anger or expressing it negatively, people with high self-esteem tend to approach their anger in a problem solving way, either with a confidante, or with the person who provoked it, or both. Instead of letting emotions guide, people with high self-esteem work to find the source of their anger and combat it in a productive manner.
Anger: Men and Women
I regret to admit that self-esteem seems to plague the female population more than the males; however, it’s an unfortunate aspect of all people’s lives. I would like to encourage both men and women to shatter the stereotypes I’ve discussed and treat everyone equally and regard all people’s feelings as valid, whether they are female or a male.
Dealing with Anger
I’m sure many of you are familiar with the term, “venting.” It’s a common term that the dictionary describes as a “release of strong feelings.” I recently read a study about venting, and how there are positive and negative ways to vent (as you can see, our society loves to categorize.)
Researchers from the University of Tennessee had a sample size of women fill out questionnaires about anger and found that the most counterproductive were “yelling, screaming and lashing out.” This type of venting not only influences the “bitch” stereotype but it disrupts a person’s physical demeanor and ultimately makes anger worse.
Another very unhealthy way to deal with anger is rumination. It’s the idea of continually thinking a thought or dwelling on one’s anger over and over again. Rumination is a word that comes from cows. It means to regurgitate partially digested food and chew it again. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR THOUGHTS? I think NOT!
So productive ways to deal with anger, according to the article and myself?1. Problem Solve – find out the source, and find out what can resolve this anger.
2. Participate in a physical or mental activity that calms you and stops you from over-thinking.
Examples: exercise, meditation, video games, talking with friends whatever it takes!
3. Discuss angry feelings, with yourself and if possible, the person the anger may be directed towards.
4. Use creative outlets: writing, journaling, drawing, music. Creativity feeds the soul!
Thanks everyone! Comments appreciated!
*If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb*
