I do workshops on personal productivity and empowerment, and the topic of "wasted time" came up in one of the discussions I led. There was a debate to the idea of what constitutes wasted time and whether it even exists at all.
So my first question is: what is wasted time? Is it the time you spend staring at your lean cuisine heat up in the microwave? Is it the hours of traffic you sit through on your commute to and from work? Maybe it's that extra hour you spent playing games on facebook instead of reading a book. The truth is, the definition of wasted time is going to be different for everyone, depending on their own personal opinion.
However, there are a couple objective ways that one can waste their time that I think no one will contest with....and here they are:
- Worrying about things you can't control
- Dwelling on a situation you cannot change
- Ruminating over something a person said, or and event that has passed
- Spending time trying to change another person
A common statement people make when a relationship has ended is that it was a waste to spend a great deal of time with a person and invest your emotions, and then have it go no where. But is this truly wasted time?
Think back....Did you learn anything from the relationship? Did you enjoy the time you spent in the relationship? It may not have led to a "happily ever after," but does that mean the relationship was not valid, or meaningful?
It is my personal opinion that no relationship you experience in life is a waste, even if it ended badly. Some may say it is a cop-out to use a failed relationship as a learning experience and that it is just a way to make the pain less or find some reason behind a hurtful situation. Whatever you believe, life is still a learning experience and even if don't learn from the situation right away, you most likely will find something to take from it one day. Every experience we have in life can be beneficial to our emotional growth.
I encourage everyone to look at the time they spend in thought, not just action. Yes, sometimes it's fun to play a couple rounds of angry birds in line at the DMV instead of reading the textbook you brought - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! The time I want you all to consider is the time you spent in your thoughts. What do you ruminate on? What do you worry about?
If you've considered relationships in the past to be a waste of time, is it possible that you learned anything from them?
and remember.....
