Some of you may be aware of the indie film out, Blue Valentine featuring Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling (!!!!). I definitely recommend this film for people who can handle a movie with some sadness and a little raw emotion. Besides the phenomenal acting performances, the plot provoked a great deal of thought in me regarding relationships.
I'm not going to give any spoilers, but the overall plot of the film portrays the romantic relationship between two individuals. Parallel stories about their relationship are going on within the film, one that is very happy and hopeful and another that is tragic and heartbreaking. I was thinking about why I loved the film so much and it led to me to think back on how I asked “It’s Up to Us!” blog readers whether they thought it was worth it to love someone and lose than to never have loved in the first place.
I'm not going to give any spoilers, but the overall plot of the film portrays the romantic relationship between two individuals. Parallel stories about their relationship are going on within the film, one that is very happy and hopeful and another that is tragic and heartbreaking. I was thinking about why I loved the film so much and it led to me to think back on how I asked “It’s Up to Us!” blog readers whether they thought it was worth it to love someone and lose than to never have loved in the first place.
As I watched some of the happy and hopeful scenes of the film I felt this sense of satisfaction and joy in watching two people fall in love and connect in this enormous way. The experience of connecting with someone, being completely on the same level and knowing that this feeling is reciprocated is one of the greatest experiences a human being can have, in my opinion. Then while watching the scenes where the relationship began to destruct, all I could think was, "All of this pain they are feeling right now....it is worth going through."
It's just worth it - the pain, the anger, and the frustration in realizing that you've changed or they have changed, or that you just don't feel the same, or that things aren't going to work out…or that you just aren't meant to be.
The time you spent with that person isn't wasted time, because you experienced unique happiness with that person that is important to your life story. So maybe it's time for us to focus on the positive time spent with a person rather than the fact that the relationship didn't finish with a "happy ending." Appreciate it for what it is.
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
There is a quote in the film where Michelle Williams' character asks her grandmother how anyone can know if their love will last? “How will you know if your feelings for a person won't fade?” And her grandmother replies by saying that there is no way to know. The only way to know is to have the feelings.
I think that paraphrases what the movie is all about and it's up to us as the viewers to decide whether we think it was worth it or not and apply that to our attitude about our own experience. We can look at it positively or negatively, it's all "Up to us" (!).
And I think I'm going to give "positive" a try......
I encourage you all today on Valentine’s Day to embrace this day for the sake of love, whether you are single or in a relationship. Ignore the annoying commercials and overpriced greeting cards. Celebrate the love you have in your life the way YOU want to!
Have a wonderful day! ♥
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