I’m sure many of you are aware (or attempting to forget) that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Since my blog is about love, relationships, men and women etc. I felt the need to write a little ditty on this quite controversial holiday. Last year, I wrote about Blue Valentine, the awesome movie with my man Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. (Check it out here!)
The following opinions are based on my conversations with people and my own personal experience. I’d love to hear what other opinions are out there!
Single People Say They Hate Valentine’s Day Just Because They Are Single
When I heard someone say this, I was single – and I got quite offended. I was quite positive that my hatred for Valentine's Day was based on the frivolity of the holiday and my feminist desire to be independent. I even convinced myself I hated flowers because they ended up dying anyway. However, after the first time I fell in love things changed.
I think this statement might be true, at least in my case. I’ve had an ambivalent relationship with this holiday. I’ve hated it, and I’ve loved and I’ve exploited it – but I’m pretty sure that my hatred for it really just stemmed from not having anyone to celebrate with! I can’t believe I’m admitting this!
It comes down to this – if you’re going to hate Valentine’s Day, hate it when you’re single and in a relationship. Don’t jump the “hate” bandwagon just because love wasn’t good to you this past year. Instead, take the day to spend it with someone you love, it doesn’t have to be in a romantic way.
It’s A Females Holiday
Maybe we should just change the name of Valentine’s Day to “Women’s Appreciation Day.” Let’s face it, it’s a holiday that women seem to care more about than men. I don’t think its completely our fault either – everything about the advertising for this holiday is geared towards women. We are bombarded with female oriented colors (PINK!!!), ads for jewelry and flowers, and commercials with half naked Victoria Secret models telling us to “show me you love me” by buying lingerie. No wonder women get so crazy about this holiday!
I’m not trying to blame society. Okay maybe I am. Either way, it wouldn’t hurt men to buy us some beautiful flowers once a year. It’s the least they can do because we give birth and menstruate once a month and we are still considered minorities. So suck it up and buy us something pretty!
While men may need to suck it up, women also need to step up to the plate. Valentine's Day shouldn't be a one sided affair where all the pressure is put on men to think of something extremely romantic and take their partner's breath away. Why is it up to a man to amaze a women with his romantic gestures? Females can also be romantic and show their appreciation for their partner. They can...and they SHOULD. If you plan on celebrating the holiday, honor it by showing someone you care and not expecting them to do all the work.
Note: This is why most men hate V-day. Females who expect alot and don't give in return. Give, and you shall receive!
It’s a Greeting Card Holiday
Valentine’s Day is 100%, without question, a greeting card holiday. Unfortunately, like most holidays in the U.S., it originated as something completely different than what it is today. The origin isn’t even completely decided on (Read About it! Click Here). We know it is based on St. Valentine and the actual date was declared in the Middle Ages. What troubles me is that it started out with people writing hand written notes and exchanging small gifts to show each other they care and now it’s been exploited by commercialism and greed. What else is new? Consider St. Patricks Day: it started as an Irish holiday and now it’s an excuse for bars to charge a $20 cover just so people can get in and wear green beads and spend extra money getting drunk on green beer.
If Valentine’s Day is a greeting card holiday then St. Patrick’s Day is a bar holiday and Christmas is a department store holiday and Halloween is a random-costume-store-that-only- opens-up-once-a-year holiday. Let’s face it, ALL of our holidays are exploited. Why do we hate V-Day but still go out and spend money for all the other holidays?
It Was Fun in Elementary School
I LOVED Valentine’s Day in Elementary School. Everyone was required to give every single person in the class a Valentine so no one was left out. Plus, we got to spend almost an entire day doing fun activities and having a party with cupcakes and candy! What kid wouldn’t love that? I remember spending an hour in Target trying to figure out which Valentine cards to get: Star Wars themed or Polly Pocket? I was a gender conflict child. If only Valentine’s Day was as fun as it was in elementary school. Sigh.
Valentine’s Day Can Be Fun Whether You’re Single or In A Relationship
I respect everyone’s decision on this holiday, whether you hate it, love it or just don’t care. Just know that you can have fun with it no matter what your status is. Don’t let society make you feel bad because you don’t have a Valentine this year. Instead, get your fellow singles together and go out! It’s about love so find someone you love and tell them how you feel. Hey you might even get lucky and find a bar to go to where there is a raffle for a free breast augmentation in honor of St. Valentine . Yes, there’s a story behind that (and it's a good one), but my lips are sealed.
4 comments:
okay. since whatever i post gets effed up for your blog, i am just gonna send it to you here and do what you will w/ it.
Valentines Day
I absolutely agree with elementary school being the best time for valentine's day...all kinds of good candy and if you fancied a girl (or boy), whether they liked you or not, you got a card fom them that you could cherish for DAYS to come. It was a fun time.
I've never really hated valentines day...but it did do a weird thing to me when I was single. I always tried to find a date, whether or not I actually liked the person, just so I didn't feel lame about not having a date. Finally, I got over that and if I was single I would get together with my other single buddies and we'd just do something. Now, being married...valentines day is awesome again. (Not saying I hated it before) There's no real pressure and lucky for me, my wife isn't the type to expect the bells and whistles for valentines day. Now, of course, I will get her a little something, but our "gifts" are mostly reserved for birthdays, xmas and anniversaries. The last 2 years we've just stayed in, cooked a good dinner and hung out. This year we have reservations to a sweet restaurant in houston...And actually, to show how awesome my wife is, our first Valentines Day was when we'd only been dating a few months and I took her to a HOCKEY GAME and we had a great time. (probably made the decision right there that i wanted to marry her)
I think Melanie hit it on the dot w/ spending it w someone, someBODIES you love, whether it be a bf/gf/wife or friends. When I finally got over "being alone" on vday , I truly enjoyed spending it w my single friends.
Or you could spend it alone, get a bottle of your poison, and listen to Bon Iver or something. I think there's a way for everyone to enjoy it!
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Thanks for posting this Mel! it made me think differently about valentines day. I always associated it as a holiday for people in relationships, but you're right, it doesn't have to be. So, thank you for helping me change my point of view :)
Personally, I have decided that Valentine's is ridiculous. As a woman, I watch yearly women sink into this trap and men are caught like deer in headlights when it comes around. I used to get into the belief that it was awesome, but after many years of being single on V-Day, I don't see its point. Why do we choose one day a year to celebrate a relationship? And why is it so important on this one day? What about the other 364 days of the year?
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