It's Up To Us!: Is Social Networking Ruining Relationships?

I was talking to my mom the other day about dating and communication and she told me that in her younger dating years there were pretty much only three forms of communication: face to face, the phone (A LANDLINE phone), and letters (aka snail mail). Not only that, but her college dorm had only one communal phone for use in the dorm hall. She had to wait her turn to make any calls and it was almost impossible to receive calls. I compare that to how things are today and I realize how drastically things have changed. Now, how many forms of communication are there? Lets count: face to face, a landline phone, a cell phone, letters (I miss these), emailing, texting, IMing, tweeting, instagramming, facebook, skype, games "with friends". I’m sure there are some I’m missing! I just counted 13!! Compared to my moms measly 3 methods of communicating, that number is pretty enormous. Since we have all these new forms of communicating, you’d think we’d be experts at it, right? Unfortunately, this is not even close to the case. Researchers are finding that although we have quadrupled the number of available forms of communication, the quality of the communication has not improved. As I reflect on this issue, I started thinking of some "positives" and "negatives" about the forms communication we have in this generation and how it influences relationships.

POSITIVE: Social networking makes it a lot easier to plan gatherings with friends, which can help maintain relationships.
Those who know me know I love to plan :) . Things like texting and facebook make it a lot easier to plan a group event or even a single outing with a friend because you can send a quick text or facebook invite to see who’s available. It also makes it a lot easier to coordinate! Cheers to the planners out there!

Survey from MensHealth.com

NEGATIVE: You have to see what everyone is doing without you. With features like checking in, we now know where everyone is all the time and sometimes that can make a person feel left out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stop checking in. But how many of you have gotten jealous or sad because you were too busy to hang out with your friends then you get to see all their pictures and check-in’s having a BLAST on facebook and it makes you feel like doo-doo? Come on, you know it’s happened.

POSITIVE: It makes it a lot harder for people to lie, or cheat. Has anyone seen the commercial where the guy is on a first date with a girl and he is bragging about how he wants kids, a big house with a picket fence and wants to get married right away, and then she says, “Well how come your relationship status says, ‘Never wants kids?” I love that commercial. Shadiness is harder to accomplish thanks to facebook. Thanks to text messages, there is evidence to prove the douchebaginess of lying men and women everywhere! Muahaha!

NEGATIVE: A new way to be passive aggressive. You’ve seen it and maybe you’ve done it. You’re mad at your significant other and instead of telling them or calling them you post a song, quote or picture that is directed completely towards them. Cowards! As if we already didn’t have a problem with being passive aggressive in our face-to-face interactions….

POSITIVE: I'm at a loss.

NEGATIVE: We are becoming socially inept. I am praying for the future generation. Have you ever met a person who seems super outgoing, talkative and intelligent on facebook or texting, and then when you are face-to-face with them its like hanging out with a brick wall? All of this typing and written communication is ruining people’s ability to communicate verbally. We have learned to feel comfortable communicating behind the protection of a phone or a computer screen and so much is lost in the process. Non verbal cues make up a large percentage of what we communicate to other people. I’m sorry, but an emoticon does not take the place of real non-verbal cues. -_- Angry Face.

POSITIVE/NEGATIVE:
We are being forced to define our relationships through social networking sites. Single, In a relationship, It’s complicated, I don’t give a sh*t. Okay maybe I do, because it mattered to me to change my relationship status on facebook. I would most likely be offended if the guy I was seeing didn’t want to change their status. What do they have to hide, right? Maybe it’s a good thing, because it allows you to take ownership of your status, and show the world you are proud of who you are with. However, it can get a bit annoying when someone’s relationship status changes daily.

NEGATIVE: Increased written communication can cause more arguments. How many people have gotten in a text argument with someone? BAD IDEA. Trying to communicate feelings and what is REALLY going on by IMing or texting someone never works because everyone types differently and relays information differently. I can’t even count the times where I thought someone was mad at me because of a text message when they were really just responding quickly because they were busy. If you have something important to discuss, pick up the phone or meet up with the person!!! Oh and another thing, don’t get mad because your boyfriend or friends didn’t “like” your status. Also, the number of people who comment your profile picture does NOT define your self-worth. You’re not better than me because you have 500 more facebook friends.