con·sid·er·ation - noun \kən-ˌsi-də-ˈrā-shən\
4: thoughtful and sympathetic regard
So picture this…you make plans with a person you are romantically interested in and you are extremely excited. You have moved around your busy schedule in order to make time for this person so it is obviously significant. The thought of spending time with this person gives you that butterfly feeling in your stomach and even the monotonous tasks of everyday life seem more bearable. The day arrives and you greet it with so much anticipation your head is about to explode. About two hours before you are supposed to meet you get a call – no – A TEXT MESSAGE – saying… “Hey, sorry I’m going to have to cancel something came up.”
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Silence.
Yup, I’ve been there – and I’ve felt like a big jack ass for getting excited and changing my schedule around to hang out with a person just to have them cancel on me. I think many of us have been there. But a weird trend I’m noticing is that this is happening to women a lot more than it does to men.
And it makes me think: Are women just more considerate than men in when it comes to romantic relationships?
And I know – things happen and they come up and blah blah. I’m not focusing on the idea of “bailing” on people or canceling a date because I know sometimes there are things in life one can’t control.
So many women I know have changed their busy schedules to accommodate their significant others while the men don’t give the same consideration.
So many women I know have changed their busy schedules to accommodate their significant others while the men don’t give the same consideration.
Many of us map out our life plans according to how it will affect the men in our lives. We take certain consideration for certain decisions because we wonder what will happen to our significant others. Or even the significant others we haven’t met yet. This may be due to the fact that we have that biological clock that reminds us of our limited time to get procreate, but that's a whole other issue I'm not going to get into. All I know is that in my career plans, I've taken time to really think about how this fits into my desire to get married and have children. And I think many women can relate to this.
This doesn’t just apply to women – of course, this applies to humans who have a ton of consideration for other people and don’t receive it back. It just so happens that most of the men I’ve encountered seem to be a little less willing to accommodate a woman in their lives.
To be in a relationship, you have to consider each other, that's what it's all about. My advice to people on this is to not make changes in your life for someone who doesn't deserve it.
How do you know they don't deserve it? They don't give YOU consideration. It goes both ways.
How do you know they don't deserve it? They don't give YOU consideration. It goes both ways.
To the men out there reading this – have you ever felt that you were extremely considerate of a woman and not received the same treatment?
I know we are all looking out for ourselves, but would it hurt to realize that an alternative to being alone would be to just let yourself accommodate a little bit for another person in your life?
Just a thought.
2 comments:
Melanie. Thank you! Unfortunately I am very guilty of this. I am constantly re-arranging my schedule or changing plans with friends to hang out with a guy I am interested in. I have noticed that it isn't as much that they are doing it to be mean or inconsiderate, they just don't think about it like we do. It is just friendly time, just like when they hang with their guy friends. My problem is that I place way too much importance on this time (way more than the guys probably do), so when they have to change plans I see it as a very personal thing, when that usually isnt the case. We are girls and we are overly considerate by nature. I dont think there is any real solution, and we just have to remember that they are guys. And it will make the guys who are considerate that much more special in our lives in the future. And by gosh they will be lucky to meet us!
placing way too much importance on that time - whereas guys see it as just time to hang out.
sooooooo true.
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