We are all aware that the divorce rate keeps rising and that many people have relationship issues. I’ve been through it and I’ve seen others go through it and it’s made me wonder why? Why are there so many failed relationships out there? I can’t speak for the whole world, but my thoughts on this bleak subject led me to think about authenticity.
Social networking and online dating is on the rise. With websites like Facebook, Match.com, Twitter etc. we have the opportunity to display whatever image of ourselves that we want. We showcase the aspects of ourselves that we want to showcase. In addition, we spend a lot of time socializing without being face to face, and texting instead of talking on the phone which creates an environment of even less authenticity. Who hasn’t talked to someone online and noticed a complete opposite experience when you are face to face? It’s easier to put yourself out there and assert yourself online. I can’t imagine trying to truly date by meeting someone online because of this factor. However, I haven’t completely ruled out the option =].
I understand why online social interaction is so popular – because it’s an easier way to socialize. It takes less work, it can be done literally anywhere you have a computer or phone, and it’s easy to stay within your comfort zone. But is it healthy? Has anyone stopped to really consider that?
Authenticity or to put it simply, “being oneself.” Knowing who you are and being that person, in your behavior, words, relationships and innermost thoughts. This is such an important overlooked aspect of people when it comes to relationships. I think so many individuals aren’t authentic with one another in a relationship and after years of being together their real selves emerge and opinions start to clash. Then the fighting stars and things fall apart.
What are the benefits of being authentic? You know who you are and you don’t pretend to be someone you are not therefore people are getting the real you. It prevents finding the wrong person. Of course, the process of being authentic is different for everyone. Some people find it easier to “be themselves” than others. It’s very possible though that the people who have had trouble finding “Mr. or Mrs. Right” have been either dating people who aren’t authentic or have personal trouble with authenticity.
Too bad there isn’t an “authenticity radar” that we could create or develop in our brains.
A couple thoughts on how to be authentic:
1) Know yourself. Know your faults, your strengths, your likes and dislikes. And don’t apologize for these things or let anyone make you feel inferior for being them.
2) Be real in your responses to people and your behaviors, and conversations. I’m not saying to tell everyone everything you think about them. But if you don’t like someone, don’t beat around the bush and pretend you are BFF’s. And if you like someone, don’t be afraid to show it!
3) Be honest with yourself and others about your feelings on things. If something bothers you don’t be afraid to voice it. Being honest with yourself requires mindfulness and examining what you want and what makes you happy. And when you know what makes you happy you will look for it, find it, and not compromise for anything less!
I need to stop before I start sounding even more like a self-help book.
All I know is, If everyone was just a little more authentic and honest with each other in relationships, the world would be a better place.
As good ol' Bill Shakespeare sayeth, “To thine own self be true.”
1 comment:
I agree with you on this topic. It's important to get to know someone and be able to talk to them outside of a computer. This is how your dynamics are really put to a test. If you pass this test you can live together and put up with each other for years to come.
I think you bring up a good point about knowing yourself and not compromising that for someone. You will only be truly happy when you can be yourself around someone you care about and that someone accepts you for who you are, flaws and all.
Post a Comment