As you would imagine, when it comes to the major things each sex wants in a relationship the answers differ. I’ve talked to males and females about what they want in a relationship and what makes them happy and the answers never seem to match up. I’ve highlighted in previous blog posts that men and women are very different. Although we are all human beings, men and women differ when it comes to brain structure, ways of thinking and ways of processing. It’s only natural then for us to think differently when it comes to what we want in a relationship.
This blog is dedicated to the top 3 things men and women want in relationships, based on researching articles and my own conversations with people. I’m hoping this will help each sex understand each other just a little better in hopes of creating happier relationships out there!
Top 3 Things Men Want in a Relationship:
1. Drama-Free! - Men want a manipulation-free relationship. Save the drama for yo mama, ladies! If something bothers you, straight up tell him – don’t try to be passive-aggressive about it until he gets the hint. Don’t cause unnecessary drama where it isn’t needed i.e. picking fights about the little things. In addition, I think a major part of this is not over-analyzing. When you constantly over-analyze a relationship drama is bound to occur.
2. A Healthy Intimate Life - Okay, in case you’re wondering, yes, this is a watered-down way for saying “men want sex.” For couples not having sex for religious or other reasons, this can be substituted for just time spent one-on-one. But for sexually active couples, whether married or unmarried, a healthy sex life is important for both both men and women. Men just seem to put a little more focus on it than women. Intimate time with a partner is the way you communicate how you care for each other and hell, it’s fun!
3. Truthfulness - This last one was hard because this was a tie-breaker with “faithfulness” and a couple others but I thought I’d highlight it because I think it’s important. Don’t be a liar, don’t cheat and just be honest about how you feel, who you are, and what’s been going on in your life. A relationship built on lies is doomed to fail.
Top 3 Things Women Want in a Relationship:
1. Ackowledgement - It’s simple: we want to know that we matter because frankly sometimes we forget and we need to be reminded. A lot of women complain about feeling super special during the beginning “honeymoon” stage of relationship and then feeling a bit neglected once the relationship enters a “comfort zone.” This is why many relationships don’t make it out of stage one! It is very important for women to know that they still matter even after the comfort zone has been reached. Texting, planning and calling shouldn’t end just because things aren’t as new. When we don’t hear from you we start to over-analyze which can lead to drama - which we KNOW you don’t want. On another note, things should still be balanced – it doesn’t always have to be the guy doing the initiating conversation. But it seems that women need the acknowledgment just a little more than guys so it doesn’t hurt =)
2. Understanding - We want you to understand that sometimes we just need to talk and get it out without you fixing the problem. Not everything can just be fixed up with a hammer and nails. Women are “venters” by nature and sometimes we vent to our significant others. I do recommend to women, however, to still vent with friends because a man can only take so much. We also would appreciate it if you would understand that we are women and sometimes we aren’t as clear-cut and rational as you are. We make the world beautiful with our emotions and our diversity of thought. That’s why you like us!
3. Affection – Affection is the equivalent of sex for men. We need it in order to feel connected with our partner. Women also need sex – we just don’t put a huge emphasis on it. This is why we often see women having sex to gain affection and men “faking” affection to gain sex. It’s all imbalanced. So maybe we can compromise a little and meet in the middle? And when I mean affection I mean more than just a couple kisses before sexytime. No tooting it and booting it! Is it really so hard to hold hands, kiss a little (even on the cheek!), or anything in between? I think not!
A final quote:
“What women think men want from them causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them causes them much of the same feelings and frustration.”
I think this is SUCH a powerful quote. Let’s strive to break the barrier of misunderstanding people! Not all men are “dogs” and not all women are “crazy”, I promise!
1 comment:
Awesome post Mel. I'd be happy to help you if u need peeps for surveys. Cheers!
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