Textiquette: texting rules for men and women

I've discussed the many forms of communication that exist in a former blog - read: Is Social Networking Ruining Relationships? Texting is just one of those many forms that has increased communication and makes us all feel "more connected." Unfortunately, it seems that in addition to a new form of communication, texting has also caused many other complications and miscommunications. This blog is for all the women who have come to me and said, "What does his text mean?" and for all of the men who have complained, "Why is she freaking out because I didn't text her back in 5 minutes?" This, my dears...is for you.

A one word text is NOT a text.

Okay, I'm not going to lie I've sent an "ok" every now and then when I am super busy or I am meeting someone somewhere and I'm going to see them in a matter of minutes. However, It is just NOT cool to send a one word text message to someone after they have sent you a longer meaningful complete sentence. Men ask why women freak out or assume the worst after text message conversations with their significant others? THIS is a main reason.

Let me give you an example of when this is okay and not okay.

Acceptable:

You: Hey I'm on my way I'm parking right now.

Them: Ok!

(Notice the exclamation point? See below on PUNCTUATION!)

NOT acceptable:

Me: Hey :) I hope you had a great day today I was thinking about you!

Them: Thanks.

This "Thanks" is basically telling me that you are not really appreciating that I am thinking about you and that a text back to me is just an after thought. Whether you want to accept it or not, it's the truth.

One-word-texting was extremely annoying back in the day when unlimited text message wasn't available or too expensive. Now that everyone has a "chat" style text message interface it seems like we treat text messages like instant messages. Which is OK - as long as you don't send a single text like:

"K" or "Ok" or "kk"

"Cool"

"Bye"

"haha"

"Alright"

My point is, if you're going to one-word it then, following up with a smily or an exclamation point...or another text. It really doesn't take that LONG! Think about the message you are conveying when you send a text. It's still communication, even if it's not face to face!

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with using emoticons or punctuation.

I personally think some men are afraid of using emoticons and punctuation to relay the "feeling" of the conversation. If you look at a text convo between two women I guarantee you there will be at least one punctuation mark and/or emoticon per text. Why? Because we are smarter. No - just kidding. It's really because we convey emotion and feelings through texts as if we were speaking to the person face to face. On the other hand if you look at a text convo between two men there will be minimal activity of either emoticons or punctuation. This causes an issue when men and women try to text each other. Whether you want to admit it or not, there is a different between "Thanks!" and "Thanks." What really is the harm in placing a little exclamation mark at the end of damn sentence?!

Don't leave someone hanging when they text you and then update your facebook status. It makes it obvious you are ignoring them.

 Seriously people, we know you have facebook on your phone and you are updating so if someone texts you, RESPOND. Don't read it, ignore it and then update your facebook status about some irrelevant thing you just did. Sometimes people just want a quick response to a dang question. Okay thanks.

Let's be reasonable about response times.



Okay so there are times we are available to text and there are times we arent. What is okay and what isn't?

1. DON'T Always expect someone to respond right away - people are busy and not everyone keeps their phone attached to their hip.

2. DO be courteous and respond to someone eventually. Responding to a text 2 days after the initial response is not okay, unless you explain why you didn't respond - and it better be a damn good reason!

3. DON'T leave people hanging. If you are in the middle of a convo then you just stop responding, what is that person supposed to think? You FLAKE!

5. DON'T overanalyze every text someone sends. If you are getting a weird vibe from them, pick up the phone or ask what's up. Half the time it's your own thoughts making you think somethings wrong when its not. <--- got it ladies? :)

 Bury your phone somewhere when you are drinking.

Oh the wonderful, amazing things that come through our fingers through texts when we've had a couple beers. If you don't trust yourself, give your phone to a friend. It's just not worth it! The only time drunk texts are positive is when you are out with your friends and you are trying to find each other in a bar while one of you is in the bathroom and the texts look like this:

You: Wherbddsa are you?

Them: I'm at the gogllool

You: Ilv u, i'm so dunk.

Them: Me too I fuxting need a tnle.

You: Wnats e up.

This convo may or may not have been a real one ;)

Last note on smiley faces....Don't be the most interesting man in the world, men. Grrr.



Textiquette: texting rules for men and women