Those of you who know me personally know I recently took a two week Europe trip with friends. Besides the fact that it was an amazing trip full of stunning sights and history, it was also a learning experience. After reflecting on the trip, I realize that everything I learned can easily be applied to any relationship, so I thought I’d share my newfound wisdom in a blog. Plus, this gives me a chance to post even more pictures, OH YEA!
#1 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM: Space is Not a Bad Thing
When traveling, a main area of focus is usually on is what to pack, transportation and planning. The last thing you are preparing for is the fact that you are going to see your friends (or family) 24-7 for two weeks STRAIGHT. You love your friends and family, but there is no way any person could spend all-day every-day with someone and not need space, right? My advice while travelling with others is to take the space you need at the right time. Let me be clear, the “right time” is not while you’re in the middle of a metro station after your phone died and no one can get a hold of you. The same rule applies to relationships - we need to allow the other person to breathe and have their own sense of identity, no matter how serious the relationship. Taking space includes pursuing separate interests, taking independent time to spend with friends, or just going for a solitary walk. This way you keep your sense of self (and sanity) and you decrease the chance of petty arguments. Plus, how can you miss someone if they’re ALWAYS THERE?
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| The beach in Barcelona, Spain |
#2 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM: Everyone is allowed to get angry from time to time
I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that feeling or displaying anger is not a sign of weakness. I think we live in a suppressed society where if you show how you feel, you are sending the message that you are not strong enough to “control” your emotions. I’m not saying you should get so angry that you pull a Mike the Situation and slam your head against the wall every time someone pisses you off. There are destructive ways to express emotions that involve hurting yourself or others, but there are also constructive ways. In any relationship it is important to express emotions like anger or annoyance because suppressing them will just make it worse. People are bound to annoy you whether you want them to or not, and putting on a smile and acting like “everything’s okay” is eventually going to cause things to explode. Usually when we feel threatened by someone who is expressing their feelings it’s because we’d much rather “keep things peaceful” and push emotions under the rug. However let me reiterate that holding in emotion is like squeezing a tube of toothpaste with the lid on: if you squeeze hard or long enough, eventually the tooth paste is gonna come out and it’s most likely going to make a mess. Maybe that’s a bad analogy, but who cares! You get the point! Why not allow people to express how they feel and not feel threatened by their anger? In turn, don’t feel threatened by your own anger – it’s an emotional just like the rest of them!
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| The Seine - Paris, France |
#3 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM: Let go of your control issues
This one’s a BIG one for me. Let’s face it – you can read every informative book, download a million apps and Google directions ahead of time, but when you travel there is still a very likely change you WILL get lost. It is important to let go of the desire to control the outcome of every situation. This applies to both relationships and travel. Anxious people everywhere will agree that thinking about a problem over and over is not going to solve it (yet they do it anyway.) The best you can do in a situation is to be as prepared as you can and then go along for the ride. It took me halfway through my trip to learn that and I’m still learning it in my current relationship! However, once you truly let spontaneity take over, some of the most exciting things happen and then you realize why planning is not always the best way to go.
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| Westminster Abbey |
# 4 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM: Stop being defensive
It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong. No one likes to say they made a mistake or they don’t have things under control (see #3). However, we are finite beings with a limited understanding of the world, so it’s only natural to make mistakes. If you’re doing your best and you still make a mistake, that’s OK – determine how you can change it up and do things better the next time around. The best qualities a person can develop are being pliable and open to change. When someone confronts you with something negative about yourself, why not be open to that suggestion? I learned on my trip to admit when I’m wrong and that sometimes I don’t know what the hell I’m doing (BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!). In relationships, if we can’t apologize or admit we messed up, we are going to have a hard time connecting with our partner. I’m right, right? You better say I’m RIGHT!!!
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| Barcelona |
When you are with someone for a long amount of time, it’s easy to take them for granted. It’s important to take a moment to do something thoughtful or say something kind every now and then. What keeps relationships together is the effort that is placed on the relationship by both people. No one wants a one-sided relationship…well, unless you’re a masochist. KILL EM WITH KINDNESS PEOPLE!
#6 NUGGET OF TRAVEL WISDOM: Take time to LAUGH!
Sometimes during travel you create such a busy agenda in order
to see and visit so many places that you forget to truly enjoy
them! In relationships, life can get so busy that you forget to
enjoy the person you’re with. Sometimes, you just gotta let go,
make some inside jokes and laugh your ass off in the subway for
no reason. Who cares if people think you’re crazy? Just hold on to
your bag and passport and you’ll be fine J
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post!
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