It's up to US, to know ourselves and to attempt to establish healthy relationships. This blog is about all sexes and genders, how we think and what we think. It is a blog about "maybe's" and "what if's". It is a conversation about media awareness, diversity, inclusion, relationships, sex, love and everything in between.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Star Wars Wisdom On Relationships


NOTE: Whether you are a star wars fan or not, you will be able to relate to this post on some level. You don't have to be a nerd to enjoy the life long lessons the Star Wars saga has imparted onto humanity. In fact, you  may even find yourself longing to watch one of the films after this (Star Wars movie night anyone??) So here we go...A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... 

Here's what Star Wars has taught me about relationships:

#1 Either be in a relationship or don't be in one. Don't mess around.
One of Yoda's most famous quotes from Star Wars is, "Do or Do not, There is no try."  That green little man (is he a man?) may have spoken super slow with jumbled up grammar but he sure as hell knew what he was talking about. The way I see it, you either do something, or you don't do it. There is no, "Oh, I'm going to try being in a relationship, but I'm keeping my options open." No one deserves half your effort, and you don't deserve a half-ass effort from anyone either.

#2 Watch  who you get advice from about your relationships. Just ask Anakin i.e. Darth Vader.
Anakin Skywalker's biggest mistake was listening to Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious' advice about the dark side of the force having the power to prevent death. Emperor Palpatine took advantage of Anakins fears and premonitions about Padme dying during childbirth and Anakin was so vulnerable and confused that he listened...and look what happened. He turned to the dark side, put a choke hold on the wife that he was trying to SAVE then fell into volcanic rock (that's the short version.) I'm a little conflicted because I love Darth Vader but then I watch episode 3 and I remember how he got that way and I am sad (despite the cheesy dialogue and forced acting). So my question is, do you really want to fall into volcanic rock and be forced to breathe like a person with extreme post nasal drip for the rest of your life? No, but for seriously - It's important to watch who you ask for advice on your relationship. Remember, not everyone has your best interest at heart. Many times, people give advice based on their own selfish point of view. My advice is to find several people in your life you who know have your back and will give you objective, productive, tactful feedback.  



#3 Make sure you're not related to the person you kiss.
Good rule of thumb, people. Even if you're trying to make Han Solo jealous, please make sure you don't share a blood line with someone before you lock lips with them. It just ain't classy. I love you Princess Leia, its okay, you just didn't know.  


 
Storm Trooper Love <3>
 #4 There is always more than one side to a story - and everyone's opinion is important.  One of my favorite Obi-Wan quotes is, “Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” Sometimes during conflict with people we are close to we skew things based on our past emotional wounds. It's important to realize that everyone has a perspective that is valid. This perspective is their "truth."  My wise buddy Obi-Wan is trying to remind us that we need to open our minds and take more time to understand someone else's "truth" before we judge, or escalate a conflict further than it needs to be escalated.

#5 Insecurity and Fear Go A long Way
Another Yoda gem: “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”  (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)
Fear is what turned Anakin to the Dark Side, and it will lead you too if you don't be aware of your insecurity. When you are insecure, there is nothing anyone can do to appease you, so when people don't meet your expectations, it can cause anger to build up. This anger can lead to hate, which leads to suffering for you and the people around you. So remember, check your insecurity before you wreck yourself all the way to the dark side.



#6 Don't let characters into your life who don't belong.
He was created for comic relief in Episode I-III, but all I needed was relief from the sound of his semi-rastafarian clown voice. Let's face it, no one likes him but we can't erase him from the movies, just like we can't erase obnoxious people off the face of the earth. However, that doesn't mean I have to acknowledge his presence as a legitimate, necessary Star Wars character, right? The lesson here is that some people just don't need to be in your life if they don't improve the quality of it. Figure out who the "Jar Jar Binks" in your life is today, and GET RID OF THEM. If only someone told George Lucas this before Episode I came out.....

Hope you enjoyed this post. Comments appreciated.

May the force be with you.



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1 comment:

Earth to Tanya said...

HAHA! this is a fave post, need to share with my girlfriends... i know i have plenty Jar Jar Binks that need a good sock in the face!! haha :) Merry Christmas!