Hi Readers!!!!! If there are any of you still left :( I apologize for my brief hiatus from my consistent blog post writing. I have had many exciting and new life changes, and as a result I've neglected my love of writing blog posts! So I'm back..and I'm starting a new, exciting topic: Emotional Constipation.
Sounds lovely, right? Okay, just hear me out....
First of all, let me start by defining what emotional constipation is, from my perspective. I'm going to call it EC so I don't have to keep writing the word constipation over and over.
How do know if you have EC?
- You don't feel comfortable talking about your feelings
- You use indirect ways of communicating with people about your feelings instead of being direct
- You hear from others that you sometimes come off as "unfeeling" or "cold" or you get feedback that it is hard to get to know you
- You prefer to pretend you don't feel anything rather than face negative feelings
Now that I read this over, I'm sure everyone has been EC at one point in their lives. We may be more willing to share ourselves emotionally with some people than we do with others, which I understand because I've been there.
HOWEVER, EC in general is not a good thing. Living your life without sharing yourself is an absolute way of missing out on the beauty of human relationships.
Many people are afraid to express themselves to others because they are afraid of how people will respond or they are afraid of conflict. Even though it is uncomfortable, conflict is sometimes necessary in relationships because it brings it improves intimacy levels and it helps you learn more about yourself.
So how do you become less emotionally constipated?
- Take an emotional laxative. You can get them at target for $9.99. Okay just kidding, but wouldn't that be awesome? Hey I'm afraid of feeling this feeling, I'm going to pop this pill and everything will be A-OK!
- Mindfulness. Take moments in your day to be mindful of your inner and outer experiences. When someone says something that bothers you, how does that make you feel? Use specific words to explain what is going on in your mind and body.
- Once you are aware of your inner experiences, practice expressing those experiences to others in positive ways. If there are negative feelings you need to discuss, there is always a way to do so with words of kindness and compassion.
- Use "I" more than "You" when telling someone how you feel. This isn't the blaming game, its you opening up to another person about yourself
These are just a couple things that have helped me in my journey toward a less emotionally constipated life. I hope they help you all! Keep an eye out for more frequent blog posting :)