The Stages Of A Relationship, Part 1

All relationships have stages and evolve through time - it’s an inevitable part of life. As individuals, we change and grow and mature with time so it is only natural that change becomes evident in our relationships. I thought I would take a blog post to go over the 4 most common stages that have been identified by psychologists and researchers in romantic relationships and see what people’s thoughts are on them.

This blog post is dedicated to just Stages 1 & 2 because it’s a bit lengthy and I want everyone to digest it and reflect back to me! So stay tuned for Part 2 next week.

Stage 1: Infatuation/Initial Attraction (AKA the courtship period,  the “honeymoon phase” and….well, the best part)

            This is literally THE most exciting stage in a relationship. We’ve all been there: butterflies, constant excitement, long phone conversations, and sickening other people with your lovey-dovey obsession with each other. You want to spend a lot of time with the person and you focus on all of your commonalities with them. When you aren't with them, you're thinking about them and how you can make plans with them. When you ARE with them everything is effortless and you feel like you "just can't get enough". In short, it’s pretty dang amazing. 

This is also a time when the biological aspects of love relationships become most prominent. To make a long story short, the pleasure center in our brain is so hyped up on dopamine (among other neurotransmitters) as a result of being “in love” that we can be compared to a drug addict. Literally, neurologists have found similarities between a brain "in love" and a brain on drugs.

During this time, fellow drug addicts, it’s really important to ask yourself, "Am I more attracted to the idea of being 'in like' or 'in love' than I am the person?" We often find ourselves addicted to the euphoric feelings more than actually giving ourselves time to get to know the person. Might as well face it, we're addicted to love.

Stage 2: Initial But Limited Commitment (AKA the “disillusionment stage”)

So unfortunately, our brains are wired to adapt to new and positive changes  (which is why commercialism exists) and eventually we start to phase out of Stage 1. Stage 2 is when individuals in the relationship have a reality check. The relationship is exclusive but each person is really try to figure out if things are worth pursuing long-term. Problems can emerge in this stage because now the couple is focusing less on their commonalities, and noticing more of their differences. A higher comfort level has been reached which  puts less of a focus on impressing each other. "Real" selves begin to emerge and people start to notice flaws. Intense conflict usually occurs if the couple doesn’t learn how to solve conflict and accept their differences.

Honestly, The phase kinda sucks. The big bright bubble of love has been burst and now you’ve got to face reality. During this stage, women may feel neglected because their guy is more comfortable now and he doesn’t text or call as often. Many females often make the mistake of thinking, “He’s over me,” when he is just more comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to “chase” anymore. This is NOT a bad thing, and it doesn’t mean there will never be any romance or excitement in your relationship ever again. This stage is necessary and important to the path of a committed relationship. The key to this part in a relationship is practicing patience and awareness. I’m not sure how men feel in this stage in the relationship, but I’d like to hear from any men on this if they have comments! COMMENT NOW!

In short, stage 2 is the “make it or break it” stage. Individuals should ask themselves, "Is this relationship right for me?" and "Do I want a permanent commitment with this person?"

This last question is SUPER important: "Is this the kind of relationship I want?" (Not just, "Is this the kind of PERSON I want?") 

 

Tell me, how do you feel about Stage 1 and 2 in romantic relationships after reading this post?

Stage 3 &4 to come next week! 

The Stages Of A Relationship, Part 1