Can We Really "Have It All?"

In our current post-modern, (kind of) pro-female society, it is quite acceptable for a female to pursue the whole package: marriage, family, a successful career and an active social life. With that also comes the expectation that we should maintain a fit, healthy body, youthful skin, and an updated wardrobe. I mean, just because we get 4 hours of sleep a night and have to work 10 times as hard to get that promotion, doesn’t mean we should get lazy and skip the gym, right? No ladies, get your ass into that Zumba class, I don’t care if your eyelids are drooping with fatigue and your legs feels like they are going to collapse under you. You need that tight butt and killer abs because how else are you going to land a husband? I would also recommend spending hundreds of your hard earned money on facial products and cosmetics that make you look young and feminine at all times. Are we all clear?



What I REALLY would like to know is this: Does the world (i.e. men, employers, marketing executives) realize how hard it is to truly “have it all?” In my opinion it’s not just hard, it’s impossible.


As a way to gain research experience I worked as an assistant to doctoral candidates on a study about “Work Life Balance” for women. This study not only helped me comprehend how many successful women exist in this world but also how absolutely difficult it is to balance all the endeavors women strive towards. It also made me realize how much pressure women face to manage everything that is expected of us! We are encouraged and expected to go to college and get a job; but we should also get married, have babies and still look good after it’s all said and done. I’m sorry, but just thinking about this makes me anxious. No wonder women have a higher rate of anxiety and depression in this country.

I recently watched the movie “The Iron Lady” with Meryl Streep (GO SEE IT!) about Margaret Thatcher’s career and life. Not only was it an incredibly well crafted film, but it also provoked my thoughts regarding women all over the world who want to be “game changers” and hold positions of power. Margaret was an amazing woman who accomplished such a great deal. It’s almost more inspiration than I can handle. However, the film also shows how her family suffered as a result of her high career aspirations. Her children were frustrated with her single mindedness and her husband was basically her support system. She wasn’t fully 100% a mother, prime minister and wife. So is that how it always has to be? If a woman wants to be president and she has young children would her husband have to fill some of the lacking caretaker role in her absence? Can a woman be 100% of everything in life or is that just too much?


I get it – no one’s perfect and nothing can ever be done without blemish. I guess my point of this blog post is to find out what other women feel and think about pursuing a career and wanting a family while also maintaining the “trivial” things like appearance and social life. All of these aspects are important, but how on earth are we supposed to balance them all without causing ourselves extreme anxiety? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Can We Really "Have It All?"

Why Men May Or May Not Love Bitches

As an aspiring clinical psychologist and therapist who desires to focus on relationship/sex therapy I have taken it upon myself to do some independent research in the field. Part of this research has required me to read some books that can be found in the “Self-Help” section of the book store. Let me tell you, as a former English major I never thought I’d find myself in this section. My book shelf was formerly full of classic novels, post-modern poetry and books on literary theory and now it is packed with self help and psychotherapy books. Who would have known?


As I first skimmed the “Self-Help” aisle a certain title caught my eye: “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship.” Definitely unconventional, so I decided to give it a try. As you’ll see in this post, I have a bit of a mixed review on this book – but that didn’t stop me from buying a copy for all of my girlfriends. :)


My biggest problem with this book is the term, Bitch. I am not going to lie; I am guilty of calling my friends bitch as a joke on a regular basis, even though it has very negative connotations. Somehow this word that used to be defined as female dog came to mean a negative, rude, jerk of a woman who is possibly PMS-ing. Then, magically the word transformed its meaning to become a term of endearment among women of today. I have no idea how it happened, but being a “bitch” these days isn’t always a bad thing.

I’m a walking contradiction, because although I’ve used it as a joke with my friends, I don’t necessarily feel comfortable with just anyone calling me a “bitch,” ESPECIALLY a man. Despite how much wisdom this book has to offer women that are “too nice,” I still don’t feel comfortable with the idea that I have to call myself a “bitch” to keep a man around. The author does explain that the word “bitch” in the title “does not take itself too seriously” in the introduction and that it is supposed to represent the tongue-in-cheek humorous tone of the book. I didn’t really feel like this resonated throughout the book and I think this same wisdom could have been used with different terminology. However, I’m pretty sure that the title is what made this book sell in the first place so I’ll leave it alone.


So what is a “bitch” that is loved by men? She is “kind, yet strong. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man.” Sounds good to me, but I still ain’t a bitch!


Another term the author uses is being the “dumb fox” which I REALLY do not like, especially since I am a major promoter of education. She poses the idea that men like to be right (but doesn’t everybody?) so in order to “handle his ego” we have to use the three words that will turn any man on: “You are Right.” But what if he is DEAD WRONG? Sweetie, NO! Not happening. If a guy is right and I am aware of it, I’ll admit it. However, if he’s completely wrong and this is an important issue to me I’ll just agree to disagree. If it is a trivial subject that really isn’t worth the argument, learn to let it go. Just as I ain’t a bitch, I AIN’T A DUMB FOX!


Okay, now that I’ve established my problems with the book, I do want to highlight some AWESOME wisdom this book as to offer. This book is actually worth reading for women who have had some issues standing up for themselves in the romance game or gotten walked all over by a member of the opposite sex. So here they are:


Attraction Principle #23: (59)

"Before Sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and a women is thinking clearly. After sex it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and the woman isn’t." (Want more? Read this blog post: "My Hormones Are In Love With You"

 Attraction Principle #43 (103)

"If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner." (i.e. Don’t stop all the normal things you do in life, that you ENJOY, just because a man has entered your life. He is part of your life, not your ENTIRE life.)


Attraction Principle #44 (104)

"Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give themselves." (AMEN!)


And finally...
 “The bitch is not governed by fear of losing a man, because she knows the real price to pay is when she loses herself.”


This is only a tiny sliver of what this book has to offer. I would definitely encourage any woman to read this book, despite some of the terminology. You can find it on Amazon for a reasonable price!


If anyone has read this book or has an opinion to share I would LOVE to hear it so please comment the blog or facebook! Thanks!



and finally....

Why Men May Or May Not Love Bitches

Stupid Things [Some] Girls Care About

We all know that males and females tend to care about different things. Some of the these things may be labeled "stupid" or frivolous by members of the opposite sex. I will be the first to admit that I care about some of the things in this list and I am o.k. with it. No apologies, women of the world!

Take all of this with a grain of salt and try not to get offended, because in the end we all care about at least one "stupid" thing :)


Stupid Things [Some] Women Care About:

What We Wear
Fashion and the Kardashians have ruined our lives. We spend hours planning outfits and shopping for accessories when half the time they sit in our closets unworn with the tags still on them. We also have too many pairs of shoes, accessories and beauty products. I am not alone in saying that I've ruminated a little too long on what's hanging in my closet and what I'm going to wear to a certain event. Sometimes I think life would be better if we all just walked around naked. Plus, when it comes to guys all you really need to do is wear spiked heels and a tight dress - lose the patterned tights, wedges, and the ornate earrings you bought at urban outfitters for $50 dollars because they don't give a damn about them!


What Our Boyfriends Ex Looks Like
We may be dating a guy for a year and know that he's over his ex but we still want to find out what she looks like. We'll find her on facebook and create a fake account so we can add her and pretend to be interested in her (maybe we'll pretend we want to be Farmville friends) and then we'll snoop her page as much as possible. We'll compare her body size, hair and style to ours, even when she isn't really our competition. The more we find out, the more it will drive us crazy but we do it anyway. Has anyone heard that quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?" That quote was written for us.

Nail Polish Color
There is an entire industry that is making bank off of our obsession with changing our nail color every week and matching it with our outfits. This is also something I'm pretty sure guys don't understand or care about. As long as your nails are clean and your hands don't have the texture of a scaly reptile, you're pretty much set. However, it doesn't matter to us! We will contue purchasing nail polish to represent every color of the rainbow until the day we die!


Celebrities
WHY DO WE CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE?! I don't know, but we do because US Weekly magazine is still in business along with the entire E! network. I loathe the Kardashian family, yet the newest installment of their reality show is set to record in my DVR. Why do I care what Natalie Portman wore to the Oscars last year or that Justin Bieber had a childhood without Santa? I don't know, I just do. So shutup and leave me alone with my remote.


Being "Facebook Official"
This is definitely something females tend to care about more than men. It may be because we put more emphasis on the status of our romantic relationships than men do. It may also be because we get really tired of looking at "single" on our profile, while men probably enjoy it. Maybe we just like how it feels to change our status from In a Relationship to Single to Widowed to Married to It's Complicated so everyone can comment and feel bad for us. OR...it's possible we are tired of getting messages from sleazy guys or men from our past so we hope they will leave us alone once they see our new FB status (i.e. "Ey girl, you be lookin' sweet n scrumptious, I be pokin' you on da FB but you be ignorin me, wassup wit dat babydoll?"). Maybe I'll invent a new relationship status that says, "None of your biznazz, I'm married to myself."

Getting Attention From Men
How do females do this? Let me count the ways. Number 1 on the list: passive aggressive facebook posts in the form of statuses, depressing songs about heartbreak and "liking" FB pages such as, "I love douche bags." Other actions that made the list are slutty dresses, spray tans and wearing makeup at the gym. Why don't we wear or do something for OURSELVES instead of always trying to attract men? Who likes a woman who is so spray tanned she looks like an oompa loompa? Girl, you know you didn't get that in the real sun and it ain't part of your natural genetics!


Being Single Forever
We've all said it and posted it and cried it as we sit with our head in the toilet after too many Mai Tai's. "I'm going to be single forever, there are no men out there." Get it together! It's not true! In my opinion, as long as you think of singleness as a curse that you are destined to hold for the rest of your life, you WILL be single forever.


Looking Perfect During "Intimate Time"
Okay by intimate time I mean sex. During the deed, guys really aren't thinking about whether that certain position makes you look like you have a double chin. They also aren't worried about the several stretch marks you attained on the side of your thigh or whether your make up is smeared. Are you enjoying yourself? Yes? Then they are happy because they are enjoying it too. So let go and enjoy the (ahem) ride, because no one cares what you look like. Believe me, once you stop thinking about what you look like you will definitely enjoy the journey AND the destination. :)

Twilight
Need I say more? And yes, I did see Breaking Dawn Pt 1 on opening day.


Men To Want Us Or Something When We Don't Necessarily Want It Ourselves
You see, we have this thing....where sometimes we get offended when a guy isn't interested in us even if we weren't interested in him. So we think he's ugly but he blows us off, but we are still offended and want him to want us even if we don't want him. Get it? In relationships sometimes we don't necessarily want something but then we find out our significant other also doesn't want it and then all of a sudden we want him to want it, EVEN IF WE DON'T REALLY WANT IT. It makes absolutely NO sense. It may even apply to exes! Our ex moved on and we don't want him but we are still sad that he moved on and make fun of the girl he's with - but we don't want him, so why can't we be happy for him? Again, I don't know. We are mysteries to ourselves.

There's the top 10. Take it or leave it - but I'd prefer you comment. Thanks Readers!

Stupid Things [Some] Girls Care About

I'm Angry and I know It: An Overview of a Difficult Emotion

For the readers who know me, I'm sure you'll understand my choice of image for this post :) 

Let's get started !

Anger. It's an emotion everyone who breathes experiences at some point in there life, probably at a fairly early age.When thinking of emotions, we tend to categorize them as "good" and "bad." Good emotions being happiness, excitement, or eagerness and bad emotions being sadness, fear or hatred. Anger would hands-down be considered a "bad" emotion by most individuals. But does it have to be? And who says we even have to categorize our emotions the way we do? It is my opinion that ALL emotions are necessary and important for human development and growth. From an evolutionary perspective, anger is used for protective purposes. We have been given the ability to feel anger to protect ourselves from danger or self-threat. Anger is a necessary and normal human emotion that can be used in a positive way if one just deals with it productively, rather than destructively.

Anger and Women:
As you're reading this, female readers, think about how you feel about expressing your anger. Historically, women were not encouraged to express anger for fear of comprising their "ladylike" demeanor. Stereotypically women are supposed to be the ones who subdue anger and react calmly and rationally to situations. Although society’s evolved a bit, I don't think things have changed too much. If anything, the emergence of feminism may have influenced women to go a little over board with expressions of anger.

When a woman expresses anger in even a slightly aggressive way, she is still taking the risk of being called a "bitch." Better yet, someone may ask her if she's “PMS-ing.” Fear of being stereotyped or criticized for expressing anger/frustration can cause a woman to bottle up emotions instead of expressing them in healthy ways, which leads to NOTHING positive.


Anger and Men:
Just as we categorize "good" and "bad" emotions, it seems that we do the same according to "masculine" and "feminine." It is socially acceptable to consider anger a masculine trait (speak out if you don't agree). It often seems that displays of anger are more widely accepted in men than women, at least in our society. This does not include anger expressed in illegal ways, which is a whole other topic. The point is, anger is considered to be a more aggressive, masculine trait.

Anger and Self-Esteem
Having low-self esteem makes a person more likely to be easily provoked and to express anger in unstable ways. When people with low self-esteem are angered they tend to take people’s innocent acts and words as personal violations. Everything is personal and even little comments can offend.  They also lack the ability to stand up for themselves, so instead of speaking out about their feelings, they bottle them up. We all know where that eventually leads….an EXPLOSION of emotions that ends up hurting people and destroying relationships.


Studies show that rather than suppressing anger or expressing it negatively, people with high self-esteem tend to approach their anger in a problem solving way, either with a confidante, or with the person who provoked it, or both. Instead of letting emotions guide, people with high self-esteem work to find the source of their anger and combat it in a productive manner.


Anger: Men and Women
I regret to admit that self-esteem seems to plague the female population more than the males; however, it’s an unfortunate aspect of all people’s lives. I would like to encourage both men and women to shatter the stereotypes I’ve discussed and treat everyone equally and regard all people’s feelings as valid, whether they are female or a male.


Dealing with Anger
I’m sure many of you are familiar with the term, “venting.” It’s a common term that the dictionary describes as a “release of strong feelings.” I recently read a study about venting, and how there are positive and negative ways to vent (as you can see, our society loves to categorize.)


Researchers from the University of Tennessee had a sample size of women fill out questionnaires about anger and found that the most counterproductive were “yelling, screaming and lashing out.” This type of venting not only influences the “bitch” stereotype but it disrupts a person’s physical demeanor and ultimately makes anger worse.


Another very unhealthy way to deal with anger is rumination. It’s the idea of continually thinking a thought or dwelling on one’s anger over and over again. Rumination is a word that comes from cows. It means to regurgitate partially digested food and chew it again. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR THOUGHTS? I think NOT!


So productive ways to deal with anger, according to the article and myself?1. Problem Solve – find out the source, and find out what can resolve this anger.

2. Participate in a physical or mental activity that calms you and stops you from over-thinking.
Examples: exercise, meditation, video games, talking with friends whatever it takes!

3. Discuss angry feelings, with yourself and if possible, the person the anger may be directed towards.

4. Use creative outlets: writing, journaling, drawing, music. Creativity feeds the soul!


Thanks everyone! Comments appreciated!




*If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb*

I'm Angry and I know It: An Overview of a Difficult Emotion

10 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

Jealousy – You can have all the connection and chemistry you want, but if one of the people in the relationship has jealousy issues, things will never work. Respect your partners time and understand that you both need space to do things with out each other. Being jealous when your partner spends time with friends or does activities without you will just cause conflict and put strain on the relationship.All jealousy does is allows the another person to have power over your feelings. Usually the reasons for feeling jealous are made up inside your head anyway, so what's the point?

Unresolved Personal Issues/Baggage  When you have personal issues or unresolved trauma in your life, it’s going to translate into your relationships. It’s important to face those issues and identify your triggers so you don’t take it out on the other person. Save the conflict for the REAL issues.

Lack of Trust – This is a no-brainer. If you can’t trust the other person you will constantly be second guessing their actions towards you and it will drive you insane. You have to be open to the idea of fully trusting your partner and allow that person to reinforce that trust with their behavior. If they don’t reinforce, then they aren’t worth trusting!

Communication Issues – This refers to miscommunication, OVER-communication and under-communication. Yes, you can over-communicate. If you are constantly attached to your phone, texting your significant other with every move you make (“Hey baby! I’m going to the bathroom now....and now I'm taking a shower...Ok just got out of the shower..etc. etc. etc") then you have a major problem. You need to be able to take space and not talk about everything during every minute of the day. Mystery can be a good thing. If there are miscommunications, work to find ways to communicate that make sense to both of you. Ask for what you need when it comes to communication, because that is the only way you'll get it!

Dishonesty  - Be honest. And not just when a question is   
    asked of you. Be forthright with information about yourself

and who you are. Don't be shady!

Moving Too Fast – Slow and steady wins the race! There is no rush to make things “official” or “lock it down” or “DTR” aka “Define the relationship” (anyone watch “Awkward” on MTV?) after a couple dates. Using the L word right away isn’t necessary. Let things flow and be and when the time is right, the conversation will come. If it doesn’t then maybe things aren’t right.

Focus too much on the future…or too much on the past – Learning to be in the present…in "the now” is a hard thing to do for most people but it’s the key to staying healthy in your personal life and in your relationships. If you are constantly worrying about the future of your relationship you won’t be able to enjoy what you have in the present. If you are constantly dwelling on your past, or past mistakes and arguments then you are wasting time because you can’t change it. You can only move forward and take it one day at a time.

Trying to change your partner – Get to know the person you are dating and figure out if you can accept them exactly the way they are – the positive and the negative. Constantly trying to change someone can make them resent you and eventually cause the end of a relationship. If there are deal-breakers in their personality that you just can’t handle then don’t try to change them, accept it and move on.

Manipulation  - Being passive-aggressive instead of just outright communicating can ruin a relationship. Be open, honest and don’t play games. In games there is a “winner” and a “loser” and relationships aren’t competitions. 

Insecurity  - When one or both of the individuals in a relationship are insecure it can cause a great deal of conflict. Insecurity can lead to jealousy and dependence issues on one or both sides. 

Any others anyone would like to add? Feel free to share your thoughts! 

10 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

The Stages of A Relationship: Part 2

Last week I covered The Stages of a Relationship and discussed the first two: the “Honeymoon” stage and the “Disillusionment” stage. If you haven’t read it do so NOW!

So let’s get right into it…


Stage 3: Permanent Commitment
This stage of a relationship can take form in several different ways. It usually involves a commitment of publicly being “in a relationship” and eventually leads to cohabitation and/or marriage. At least that’s how it traditionally goes in our culture. ….

There are two parts to this stage. The first part includes the commitment that you and the other person are a “couple.” You don’t necessarily share everything or live together but you have committed to being a “unit.” This means you consider one another in your individual life decisions and you work on deepening your connection with that person beyond what you felt in the honeymoon stage. Yes, so the honey moon is over but as a trade off, you get a deep sense of friendship and romantic involvement that surpasses all the “butterflies” and “googly eyes” you felt in stage 1.


It’s important in this first part of stage 3 for individuals to really evaluate whether they are making this commitment for the right reasons and if they are personally ready to do it in the first place. Wrong reasons for making a commitment? Let’s see…


“It’s time, we’ve been dating long enough so I guess we should make it official.”


“My biological clock is ticking.” (females, ahem)


“Well I’ve got nothing better going on.”


NOT THE RIGHT REASONS FOR ENTERING INTO A COMMITMENT!


Before you take this big step, you’ve gotta “get your sh*t together,” so to speak. If you have all of these unresolved personal issues (i.e. you have jealousy or anger issues or extreme low-self esteem) you are not going to be able to successfully give your 50% in a committed relationship. So DO something about it!


The second part of stage 3 includes planning a future together. That may mean getting married, joining assets and all that fun legal stuff. This part of the stage is about settling into a life together, developing routines and accepting differences. You are no longer with your partner because you need them, but because you’ve CHOSEN them.


It is estimated that only 5% of couples who enter Stage 1 actually make it to Stage 3, according to The Relationship Institute. For some, that may seem depressing. But if you really think about it, it just means that you may have to meet many of the “wrong” people before you find the right match for yourself! So don’t give up just because you’ve had a couple of bad dates. You may need to meet 20 more potential partners to actually find one that works for you. In the meantime, enjoy yourself! I was thinking, this is probably why many people have resorted to online dating. We are so busy (or maybe lazy) that we end up letting computer surveys match us up instead of taking the time to make face to face interactions. I think that’s a whole other blog topic right there….moving on.


Stage 4: Recommitment
This stage is not always used, but I think it’s extremely important. Recommitment is a lifelong growing process. It can only take place once each partner has determined that they can be who they are and be in a permanent commitment.

Relationships aren’t easy, hence the reason why we have such a huge divorce rate in this country. Life changes and people constantly evolve, therefore it is only natural that changes will continue to occur even after permanent commitment. There will always be “high” times and “low” times in your relationship but it’s a ride that you are taking together.


According to psychology Robert Sternberg, the most complete form of love is called “Consummate Love” which includes a harmony and equal balance of intimacy (attachment and closeness), passion (sexual attraction; desire), and commitment (shared achievements and future goals combined). Consummate love requires continual modification, adjustment, and maintenance.


The more you know about the stages the easier it will be to recognize and deal with them as they enter your life, so I encourage everyone to do their own individual research and reading! I hope this two-parter was helpful and not discouraging. I’d love to know your thoughts on these stages and your own personal experiences.


Thanks Everyone!



The Stages of A Relationship: Part 2

The Stages Of A Relationship, Part 1

All relationships have stages and evolve through time - it’s an inevitable part of life. As individuals, we change and grow and mature with time so it is only natural that change becomes evident in our relationships. I thought I would take a blog post to go over the 4 most common stages that have been identified by psychologists and researchers in romantic relationships and see what people’s thoughts are on them.

This blog post is dedicated to just Stages 1 & 2 because it’s a bit lengthy and I want everyone to digest it and reflect back to me! So stay tuned for Part 2 next week.

Stage 1: Infatuation/Initial Attraction (AKA the courtship period,  the “honeymoon phase” and….well, the best part)

            This is literally THE most exciting stage in a relationship. We’ve all been there: butterflies, constant excitement, long phone conversations, and sickening other people with your lovey-dovey obsession with each other. You want to spend a lot of time with the person and you focus on all of your commonalities with them. When you aren't with them, you're thinking about them and how you can make plans with them. When you ARE with them everything is effortless and you feel like you "just can't get enough". In short, it’s pretty dang amazing. 

This is also a time when the biological aspects of love relationships become most prominent. To make a long story short, the pleasure center in our brain is so hyped up on dopamine (among other neurotransmitters) as a result of being “in love” that we can be compared to a drug addict. Literally, neurologists have found similarities between a brain "in love" and a brain on drugs.

During this time, fellow drug addicts, it’s really important to ask yourself, "Am I more attracted to the idea of being 'in like' or 'in love' than I am the person?" We often find ourselves addicted to the euphoric feelings more than actually giving ourselves time to get to know the person. Might as well face it, we're addicted to love.

Stage 2: Initial But Limited Commitment (AKA the “disillusionment stage”)

So unfortunately, our brains are wired to adapt to new and positive changes  (which is why commercialism exists) and eventually we start to phase out of Stage 1. Stage 2 is when individuals in the relationship have a reality check. The relationship is exclusive but each person is really try to figure out if things are worth pursuing long-term. Problems can emerge in this stage because now the couple is focusing less on their commonalities, and noticing more of their differences. A higher comfort level has been reached which  puts less of a focus on impressing each other. "Real" selves begin to emerge and people start to notice flaws. Intense conflict usually occurs if the couple doesn’t learn how to solve conflict and accept their differences.

Honestly, The phase kinda sucks. The big bright bubble of love has been burst and now you’ve got to face reality. During this stage, women may feel neglected because their guy is more comfortable now and he doesn’t text or call as often. Many females often make the mistake of thinking, “He’s over me,” when he is just more comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to “chase” anymore. This is NOT a bad thing, and it doesn’t mean there will never be any romance or excitement in your relationship ever again. This stage is necessary and important to the path of a committed relationship. The key to this part in a relationship is practicing patience and awareness. I’m not sure how men feel in this stage in the relationship, but I’d like to hear from any men on this if they have comments! COMMENT NOW!

In short, stage 2 is the “make it or break it” stage. Individuals should ask themselves, "Is this relationship right for me?" and "Do I want a permanent commitment with this person?"

This last question is SUPER important: "Is this the kind of relationship I want?" (Not just, "Is this the kind of PERSON I want?") 

 

Tell me, how do you feel about Stage 1 and 2 in romantic relationships after reading this post?

Stage 3 &4 to come next week! 

The Stages Of A Relationship, Part 1